Half asleep in the car, I had a realization. It isn't an issue that I don't talk with the friends/people I live with about "gay stuff" often. It's not like they've ever talked about their romantic interests often. I guess because I was closeted and had nothing to say I just established myself as having the same mentality on the topic. So now, it feels awkward not because I'm a guy talking about guys, but because it's something nobody ever really felt like talking about. And when I do want to talk about guys, I've got other girl friends who will gladly talk, because they enjoyed talking about it before I came out. It's simply two different sets of friends with two different mentalities. Same goes for talking about coming out problems... there are certain friends who talk about their problems with me and others who don't. I need to remind myself who it's "more appropriate" to speak about certain topics to. Seems reasonable... right? I think for once I actually simplified things instead of overcomplicating them.
Good for you! I've been thinking about the same thing. Being closeted for so long, I became very adept at avoiding or changing the subject when dating or sex comes up. So now my friends have become conditioned that I just don't discuss it. I still haven't dated anybody but I've noticed that a couple friends have very cautiously brought up the subject. So now I've found that some topics are better discussed with certain people. It's taking some getting used to but it's good to be able to talk.
That's some very good insight. I think it will help me a lot in the near future. I've bottled myself up and closed myself off for so long that the real discomfort may be actually being able to express myself and be me, which I have not done for quite a while. Thanks for that post.
Yeah, I think that's gonna be the hardest part, is reminding myself of this simple idea and not feeling hurt for trying other ways.
This makes so much sense! Thank you! I've been trying to figure out why i still feel very uncomfortable when people try to talk to me about "gay stuff". Im completely out now and this just makes perfect sense!
I really like your thoughtfulness. I think in the long run it will help me understand. Great thought.
