My roommate, who is straight, has a wonderful life:dry:... He's a great guy, everybody likes him, goes to parties all the time, gets laid very often, many girls literally die for him...He's always having a good time, always has this big smile on his face:lol:.... on the other hand, I'm completely alone most of the time:rolle:, don't really trust people because past relationships all turned bad, so I've turned into somekind of antisocial:eusa_hand, when I do try to connect with someone they never like me, I live in the most homophobic place in the world:help:, people here don't stand any sort of queerness, I'm getting laught at all the time by my co-workers, everyday I'm subject to an anti-gay joke ,and to top it all I'm still a virgin:tears:... I can't stand him when he comes home and starts telling me all the great things that happened that day and how much fun he's having, because my life has none of it:tantrum:: No fun, no "real" friends, no sex, struggling all the time to have good grades, trying to survive other people's shitty behaviour towards me.... I am sooo tried of the life I'm having, If I were straight most of my problems wouldn't even exist.... I wish I could be fulfilled sexually and emotionally by a girl(*hug*), to love her and have children with her, to have the kind of friends straight people have, to go about unafraid of anything, to lead an easy and happy life....why did I have to be gay? WHY ME?!:bang: Why all this suffering and loneliness??!!:tears: I mean, I've already come to terms with it, I accept my sexuality and all:newcolor:, but I just can't wait until I finally get to enjoy life like everybody else.... I do hope all of this suffering pays off on the end:eusa_pray...
You need to stop comparing yourself to your roommate and others in general. You don't know whats in his head, you don't know his experiences and you don't know all his problems. I think you are creating an ideal picture of his life in your head. And it's not real. Also, straight people have problems too. They may have different problems than we as LGBTQQ people face, but they are problems.
I used to say, ”Why me?!” all the time too, but hey, I'm the only lesbian in my family. So, I'm pretty much surrounded by straight people all day. I'm not jealous, more like, envious because it's easier for them to meet people. Now, I'm going to contradict myself though by saying this, it's not for some because I've witnessed many of my closest straight friends get rejected. Now, I've been very successful when it comes to dating not to seem arrogant, but I'm very confident. I'm so lively now, because for so long, I was depressed and suffered from anxiety all my life. I'm not exactly for medication due to the crazy side effects, but I'd have to say that anti-anxiety meds has helped me tremendously. I have a test for you, do something spontaneous...like, the next hot guy you see, approach him. I know rejection sucks and past heartbreaks deter a lot of people from dating. The pain I endured accepting my gayness isn't anything compared to being rejected nor those past heartbreaks. So, there's not anything that I cannot handle, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger
Where abouts do you live? Is there any possibly way you could move somewhere else? Somewhere where you could be open about your sexuality and you know people would accept you? But I'll definately share Of Mice and Men's sentiment. Welcome to the LGBT community. ---------- Post added 18th Jun 2012 at 09:06 AM ---------- Oh... and another piece of advice... don't ever assume someone else has a great life. :lol: If there's one thing I've learned, it's that everyone suffers tremendously in their own way, even if it doesn't seem like it. Comparing yourself to others is very mentally draining.
I completely understand what your going through. Last year I was in a one year college program and had a very homophobic roommate who pretty much ruined any plans of coming out for me. After the school year was over I was really depressed and was living at home without a job or any friends. I asked myself the very same question "why me?" Why did I have to suffer like this. Why can't I be a just as happy as all the gay guys I know. I eventually found a job and moved out of my parent's home but I am still struggling to get out of this small city. Like others have said don't assume or get jealous that somebody has a better life than you. There was this gay guy in my hometown who seemed like the most happiest person and was very comfortable with his sexuality. He had open minded friends and everything. It seemed like he had this great life but that was until he ended his own life this year which shocked me. That is what changed my perspective on things and looked at the positive in everything or at least tried to.
I'm studying in Honduras, but I was raised in Panama....you may see the Latin culture as warm and embracing:welcome: and all, but not for us gay people:eusa_hand, from an early age people learn to think of us as a joke:icon_lol: and to look at us with disgust, a lot of machismo down here, in fact, women are more homophobic than men:icon_roll, which doesn't really make sense... I can't wait until I graduate and move to Canadaride:... I have Canadian citizenship, and I've read it is a much more accepting country... like a "gay paradise" of sorts:thewave:...hope I'm right :eusa_pray
I'm was born and raised in Colombia so I understand at how annoying it can be to live in a culture with such a ridcs level of machismo. Its is annoying, but I can also tell you that not everyone is homophobic. My family so far has be AMAZING about everything and my grandma, who I just came out to, has also been amazing about it all. I'm really sorry that you are feeling so awful because it isn't fair at all, but at least you have a plan! It won't be all easy going once you move to Canada, but I think it does help to live in a more accepting area. Also, you can apply for asylum in the US if you so desire since your country does not protect LGBT people. Stay strong (*hug*)
I am not jealous of straight people because had I not been gay I would not have become myself. Unlike straight people, you have the freedom of ignoring what you're taught and being whatever it is that you like. You don't have to act "manly" in front of your friends, but you can if you want. Your choice. You can put lipstick on or a cowboy hat. Your choice. When you don't have to act like they tell you to act, you are free to act however you like, and that's a beautiful thing. Your happiness doesn't have to be connected to your sexual preference. Sure, society may look down on you. But you could have been black in the 50's. Or fighting for your right to vote as a woman before women's liberation. The good news is, this isn't 50 years ago where you had no hope but to stay in the closet. You can go where people accept you. If you're too young to move, don't worry, your life is just beginning. You'll get out of there some day. You are now living the biggest test of your life, where you are fighting to be the person that only you can be. If you can be happy with yourself when everyone hates you, you will be amongst the strongest people the human race has to offer. You will be stronger than the majority of your straight friends that never had the kick-in-the-ass required to think for themselves. When you decide between wrong and right you know it will be your own decision because you'll be use to figuring out the truth by yourself. When the rat race is on and everyone tells you you can't, you'll already have built up the inner strength to know that you can. Some day, your friends will admire you for knowing yourself better than they will ever know themselves. Some day, the least interesting thing about you will be the fact that you are gay because in people's eyes you'll be the hero firefighter, the intrepid entrepreneur, or the brave astronaut. I am a gay man. I love every day that I get to live this way. I have a wonderful companion that will have my back until the day one of us dies. I have a cute little furry dog that all my friends love. I am doing the best work of my life working on something that I truly believe in. I live in a community with gay and straight friends where I can't honestly remember the last time anyone found it interesting enough to talk about anyone's sexual preference. This place exists, it's real. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I know you are strong enough to reach it. Reaching it will in turn make you stronger. There are many of us, gay and straight, waiting at the other end to receive you exactly as you are, and we will love you without reservation. We don't care that you're gay or straight, we only care that you did the best job at being you. You may think you're completely alone in this, but you're not. You have fans, and we're all rooting for you. Stay strong, and fight the good fight.
I can completely relate, the Mikeman's post just above gives me hope. I often get envious of straight people, and although I have plenty of supportive straight friends, I know they often don't "get it" - they don't know what it means to feel like this. I just want to grab them and tell them how lucky they are not to have to endure such psychological pain. I know the grass is always greener on the other side, and being straight doesn't mean happiness...but I'm damn sure it helps. I want kids - this will be hard for me, but not so much a straight man.
It may sound cliche, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Enduring struggles is a big part of what makes us well rounded and moral people. I'm sorry things are difficult. I really am, but chances are one day you'll find someone great for you. Just be yourself and forget about the haters.
Being straight won't solve any of those problems for you. Only you can do it for yourself. Let the mean comments bounce right off of you. Who cares if they say something mean? Just ignore them. Some people are just very optimistic and confident and that's why things go well for them. It's clear you're not, so it's just something you've gotta work on.
