For the past few months I have come to realize that I am gay. I have now accepted this, but the environment that surrounds me is unsuitable for me to come out for the next few years. Me pretending to be straight has become a sort of cancer on me. I feel like I can no longer express myself freely and am living a fake lifestyle. It will be at least 2-4 years before I can express myself. And by express myself, I mean like talking about guys or talking about past or current boyfriends and stuff like that. Has anyone been in this situation, and how did you cope during your time of faking it?
Can totally relate! Many heterosexual relationships, even just kissing other men so I'll seem "normal"... But that was all a lie. And now whenever someone talks about men or tries to get me hooked up with one I have to play along and seem interested but inside I know I'm being fake and repulsed at the thought of them wanting me to get intimate with a male. There isn't really a "recipe" for coping during the times of faking it. I dream of the day I come out completely (to everyone) and can talk freely and openly about it with anybody and not just the select few I've come out to thus far. It's hard. But all in good time......
