Okay, so I'm 20(and a female) and I've never really perfered either gender. Until this girl. I have known her for four years and I've loved her since the moment we started talking. I'm in love with her(I've never admitted that... wow..). She just came out to me two weeks ago, and it's pretty safe to say that she feels the same way about me. But, alas, I am a devout Christian and have been told growing up the homesexuality was wrong, and anyone who practiced it was going to hell. I have also been raised to think that you chose who you love. I can't not love her, though. If I come out to my family, there would be so many problems and I think it would literally kill my grandparents, whom are in very bad health, but think I can do no wrong. She graduates this year, some I'm thinking about moving out of state with her for college, but I don't know if that is the right thing to do. I have no idea how to make all this work.
Depending on your family situation, the best decisions can be very different. Since you've already told us about your family, I suggest that you just don't tell them about your most intimate feelings for this girl. If your parents (and grandparents) already respect your decisions in life, then you can tell them that you're moving out of state with a friend to pursue other dreams (career, education, what have you). In fact, it might even calm their hearts that you have a friend with you, but you know.. just ignorant of the fact that you love her. Just make sure that you'd be moving out for the right reasons, which can take some time and reflection.
I would say that maybe you should try moving in with her and see what happens. I agree with phospholipase that you don't have to tell your family everything, maybe see where this relationship goes and how much it develops. I've always believed you should do things that make you happy, if being with her makes you happy than you should try moving out with her. Maybe your family would become more accepting of your relationship if you slowly have them come around to the idea. Maybe not share with them everything at once. I really hope this works out for you
You are in the same position as me as far as questioning your true feelings as far as sexual identity and all I can say is this - you need to figure out who you are at your core before you tell a bunch of people..But don't live someone elses life either.
I think you have to work through it one step at a time, you dont have to tell everyone or anyone its up to you, but I understand that its also not necessarily something you want to keep from your family. I say see how things develop with this girl, move out with her if thats what you want to do, wait until you feel more comfortable with yourself and then tell your family, it may be that if your Grandparents are old and sick that you never tell them. I understand its difficult when you think your family will not be supportive but you cant live a lie to please them. If you love her you should give it a go in my opinion.
