Well about 3 weeks ago I asked out this guy and he said that he would love to go out on a date with me. Well we scheduled the date for the 23rd (this Saturday). Well recently I have been having second thoughts. Don't get me wrong I really like him I think he is great. We used to text each other everyday but over the past week or week and a half we haven't chatted much. I know its really hard to tell what someone is feeling when you are texting them because no emotion is shown but I am getting a vibe that maybe he isn't interested. And no he hasn't said anything that would imply that its just we haven't really talked much and its just the vibe I am getting from him. I dunno but whenever I bring up the date via text (because we don't see each other in person often) I feel like im nagging him. Do you think I am just over thinking things? I have never actually liked someone before or been on a date so I am really nervous. Id really appreciate your thoughts or opinions.
You have a date already. You still like the guy. If he's not interested, it's on him to back out of it. Just assume he's aware of your date, and don't mention that for a few days. Firm up plans on Thursday or Friday. Your anxiety about the date is sure to mess with your head. Combine that with the fact that you are only communicating via text message, and I think you should not trust your impression of his feelings. Just keep your date on Saturday, and by the end of it you will probably have a better idea what's going on.
I think you get a better vibe on your date then you over some texts. Worse case you go on the date and you two don't click. You'll be in the same boat you are now
I totally agree. Plus, if you two have been talking a lot, and you've finally made plans to meet up, and the date is coming around soon, it's only natural that he might be a little less chatty. He could be thinking of stories he wants to tell you or things he wants to bring up over the date, or spending some time getting ready for it. Different but maybe related story, I once met a guy over a dating site, in my city, whom I liked a lot, and who seemed to like me. We texted a lot every night, for several days...then weeks...then months...finally after a few attempts to set something up, I asked him one more time, and he said there was "no rush." After five months, I gave up. So talking all the time isn't necessarily proof things are great either - just meet him and see.
Well when we first started talking we found out we have a lot of similar interests. And we have met up in person a few times and we get along quite well.
Go for it! I think text messaging isn't the best way to see a relationship with someone, oftnen, I believe it is the worst way to measure someone's relationship.
Didn't realize you'd already met him several times - I assumed the question had to do with whether or not to meet him in person. What are you having second thoughts about, then - this particular date, as in something you have planned for it, or continuing seeing him at all?
Here are my thoughts. I could be off base, let me know if I am. It sounds like to me you're getting cold feet. You are afraid that something will go wrong, that he might not like you, and are filled with feelings of self-doubt. It's horrible. My advice is to bite the bullet, open up as best you can, and go on the date. What's the worst that can happen? Your fears will be confirmed? He'll stand you up because he's getting cold feet as well? All of these things could happen, sure. But you could also have a really great time. You could be missing out on something special, and then later regret it down the road. Of course, if you back out AND he is interested in you, consider how his feelings might get hurt. Worst case scenario, he doesn't want to continue dating you, but that leaves open the possibility of friendship. After all you both seem to have a lot in common. Best case scenario, you meet an amazing guy and eventually fall in love. I say toss the dice.
Its just I can honestly say I have never liked someone like I like this guy. I have had crushes on people for their physical appearance (all of them being straight) but I have never liked someone for their appearance and their personality. Im terrified I am going to do something wrong or he doesn't like me back. Hopefully if my friend pulls through then the date stays this Saturday and all I have to do is make it through that day and then this feeling should stop.
Those feelings are normal. Gay and straight people alike have those types of feelings when they're going on a date with someone they really like - they're afraid of screwing up. A tip that I've found when I am in a situation in which I'm nervous, and it's appropriate to say it, is to admit it. In some cases, especially cases like this, the other person is nervous as well and when you admit it they'll feel relieved. You'll also feel relieved, either because he is a gentleman and is going to reassure you, or because he's going to admit that he's nervous as well. It's the best way to take the tension out of a situation like that, I think. Plus, even if it doesn't help it gives you a ready made excuse if you say or do something that you're embarrassed about. "Oh crap, that sounded so stupid. [Laugh.] I really hate being nervous in these types of situations, my foot always seems to find its way into my mouth."
