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Major crush, need help

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Chierro, Jun 18, 2012.

  1. Chierro

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    So there's this guy who I have a major crush on, I still remember the day I first SAW him. I didn't know his name, didn't hear his voice, knew nothing about him, and had a major crush on him.

    Last year we were friends, now not so much. See I texted him three times within an hour on Saturday and we started fighting over that. I was constantly saying 'Dude I'm sorry for everythhing' He eventually said 'STOP FUCKING TEXTING ME' so I did. I was texting my friend Abbie and I was all upset and she said she wanted to see the convo. I took screenshots of all the messages....but I accidentally sent it to the guy. I lied saying my phone just went all psycho, he said it was bs and told me to delete his number. I didn't though.

    I saw him at work today. I passed where he was working FOUR times. Everytime he managed to have customers. Once he acknowledged me, i waved and he just nodded.

    When I want to go clock out I saw him heading towards the bathroom, he took his work shirt off and he was just wearin a plain white shirt, I swear I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I just thought 'OMFG he's so fucking good looking...but he hates me' Then he went into the bathroom. I then went to a place across from there. Talked to my friend Scott and my crush didn't come back out.

    I went to go clock out and sat down at a picnic table at our office waiting for my phone to turn on. As it did, he came back. Now granted this table is round, easily fits 8 people can fit on the benchs connected to the table. Two other people were sitting there with me, he chose to sit at the other picnic table. I was crushed. I called my dad and left. Haven't talked to him since and won't see him until Friday. I'm still waiting for the Monday when my boss says that we work next to eachother.

    He won't text me back, I'm too scared to talk in person but will if need be.
    People, please help me! I'm really hurting from all of this.
     
  2. stumble along

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    if hes not texting you the only thing to do is either wait for him to text you (unlikely) or talk to him in person. waiting could dispel some of the tension but i wouldn't wait too long if you wanted to apologize.

    if you are going to be stuck together on Monday id suggest clearing it up before then so it wont be a potentially bad day.
     
  3. Gravity

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    I hate to say this, cause I'm sure it's not what you want to hear - and I can sympathize, because I was in a similar situation once - but the truth is, if he really dislikes you that much, and he's made it that clear without being ambiguous at different times, then you may want to take him at his word and drop it ("When people show you who they are, believe them," says Maya Angelou). If he really feels that way, then he won't return your feelings and he won't make you feel good about yourself - and in the end, you deserve someone better.

    Try spending just one day without thinking about him. Make it as easy as you can on yourself - don't go places that remind you of him, don't look up his number and those screen captures, don't listen to songs that remind you of him, etc. Pick a specific day that will be easy for you, if need be (such as a day when you won't be at work). Think of it as your day off from feeling miserable on his account. After that, if you've really given it a fair shot and made it through the day, see how you feel at that point.
     
  4. Ianthe

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    I don't really understand why you are fighting. What were you apologizing for? Why was he bothered that you texted him?

    If you don't understand either, I think you should definitely talk to him in person and figure out what's going on.
     
  5. Chierro

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    @stumble along: I didn't say that we'll work together. It's just a possibility. It's even a possibility for Saturday.

    @Gravity: I do have a major crush on him, but it's not like there's a place or anything. Well one place, sort of. We hung out like once after work last year because that's how it worked out.

    @Ianthe: See, I know how he is. If you text him and he doesn't respond, you either wait for a response or you just deal with that. I texted him twice saying 'Hi' then probably twenty minutes later saying 'How was *insert place where crush was working*?' still no response. Then I accidentally sent another text saying 'Hi' to him, it was intended for my best friend. Then he flipped out and we fought over how stupid it was that he got mad then when I said 'Dude can things just be cool with us again?' is when he like flipped out telling me not to text him.
     
  6. Ianthe

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    So, he's a total psycho then...

    That is not good enough justification to stop talking to you and to be acting like this. Seeing as he is obviously CRAZY, I think you should write this off as just as well. He is really overreacting.

    If you want, you could just tell him verbally that you aren't mad at him, but you don't really understand why this is such a big deal, and whenever he's done being mad, you can be friends again as far as you are concerned. But don't expect this kind of thing to stop happening. People who have this much rage over nothing are likely to go off at any time.
     
  7. Chierro

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    I'm completely aware that he's eing psycho. My friend Nate calls him a CMA- Complete Major Asshole- and my other friend Abbie just calls him a dick. I'm not mad at him, he knows that, I'm sorry that I annoyed him. I wantto still be friends. That's all we ever were. I'm just gonna not text him for a while. Probably not until next month. I can't stand people being like this to me, and since none of my friends really seem to care, I don't see why I should make trouble with myself.
     
  8. Weatherguy101

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    As Gravity suggested, moving on from this guy at this point would be the right thing to do. He's just not into you, and he might not be gay or bi. (I've had this happen to me 3 times this year!).
    It does help to start looking for other guys, but if you are only 15, it may be hard to find a gay guy that you like at your age. I'm nearly 18 and I have yet to find a gay guy around my age that I like that is close to my area.

    Well those are my two cents.
     
  9. Chierro

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    Ok, I may have a crush on him, but I've had plenty of crushes on friends before. Considering I have to see him the rest of this year, up until October, next year and years after, pretty hard to move on. I'm not saying that my crush on him is blocking us from being friends. Him being a douche to me is blocking us. Yes I think he's very good looking, and sexy and what not. I could care less if he's gay or bi, I just want my friend back. I really miss him... :/
     
  10. Nukethecloset

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    From what I understand, this guy has a total volatile personality. He's friendly and great one minute and the next minute he's angry and crazy.

    A crush I suppose can be called a precursor to love in some way but from what I can grasp (which is like trying to grab snowflakes from the sky) is based purely on what the boy looks like. Which is great because I think that's all he's ever going to offer you.

    I'm going to say something and it may come off as completely rude but stay with me. You don't really care if he returns your feelings or even that he may be straight and you just want to be his friend again. This could be an attempt just to keep him in your life even though he'll probably continue to string you along and present shallow ideas and concepts that can be confused and misinterpreted into ideas that you want to see.

    All I can say is that you've really got to step back and look at this. If he's not interested in you but only for the sole purpose of driving you bat shit crazy, than what exactly is the purpose of having him around? Because you find him hot? He'll never be the friend you expect him to be and I don't think you really need that in your life.

    Your friends don't care because you don't want to listen to them. If they're calling him a dick--he's probably a CMA! (Haha, I used the lingo.) Trust the friends you hold close because they'll tell you what's really going on behind all the smoke and mirrors.
     
  11. Chierro

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    Trust me, i know he's being a dick to me. And the thing is, he really is a great guy. You all must think I'm crazy now. I want my friend back, the one who's nice and normal and who I can talk to. Knowing my luck, I'll end up paired with him for something and it's going to suck majorly. Worst situation: when my friend Seth comes back from Texas he works next to my crush.
     
  12. stumble along

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    Well, you want your friend back, and you know that if you dont fix this sooner or later then it will be a bit annoying for him when you come over and talk to your other friend. So the only way to fix this is to go up and talk to him and say you're sorry
     
  13. Philvanuirle

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    I can see where you're going through with him. But, all I can say is that, if he does not respond-talk-acknowledge you in what-so ever, then I don't he is worth as much;however, if you still like him, then all you can do and should.. is just wait and don't even acknowledge him. And see the results.
     
  14. thylvin

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    Well you did butch up slightly there, the too many texting wasn't a good idea.

    I don't want to tell you what you did wrong or right, but I will tell you this.

    There is this golden rule or saying or proverb or what ever you want to call it. It goes as follows:

    If you love a person, set him/her free, if they comeback to you, it was meant to be, if not, well it wasn't meant to be.

    I know how you feel. If I were, you I would make as if the guy doesn't even exist, have fun at work, joke around with collogues, make him jealous, he's bound to come back, if not, then you deserve better!
     
  15. awesomeyodais

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    Just a hypothetical scenario - he's nice to you in person, likes you as a friend, maybe is a bit "confused/curious/questioning" and is starting to feel some attraction - then he's with a girl trying to forget about his "questioning" and the nice and gosh-maybe-he's-cute-i-don't-know-what's-happening-to-me dude (that's you) keeps texting him...