Well... I've been thinking

I feel exactly the same. I was thinking of leaving my mum a note or something.... hmm.

 

I don't have any advice to give as I'm in this situation myself... I spent last weekend at my parents' place and all the time I was thinking "Should I tell them now, or maybe tomorrow? Or should I keep it to myself for now?". It's driving me mad. Apparently I'm not ready to tell them, even though they'll be accepting.

 

It will be a relief to you to tell them. I would get it out of the way as soon as possible, since you are sure they will be accepting.

I did a lot of my coming out via text messages, but with my parents I felt a more involved message was necessary. I had some other issues I was addressing with my mother, though. One thing to consider: do your parents normally communicate by texting, or is that awkward for them?

Do you think they might suspect at all?

One thing about sending any kind of message, instead of doing it in person, is that then you are stuck waiting in suspense for the response. But if the anxiety of doing it in person will prevent you from going through with it, it might be the best option.

If you do it by text message, you might want to text them and get a response first, and send your "coming out" text after you know they have their phones on and at hand. That will reduce the agonizing suspense.

If you send a text message, what would you say? Since the message will have to be short, you might want to really think about what you want to say.

If you sent the text to your mother while she is at work, she will at least potentially have that gay guy there to ask questions of, if she needs that.

Even if they are very accepting, they may have a strong emotional response. Sometimes, people are shocked themselves that it upsets them--if you had asked them ahead of time, they would have said they'd be accepting no problem--and they are accepting, they just have some strong emotions to deal with. They might be upset that it will be more difficult for you to have children (if they want grandchildren), or they might be really afraid of how you will be treated by other people. So, for that reason, it might be nicer to come out in a somewhat longer format, so that you can address some of their potential feelings and provide some information about how they can get support if they need it.

You could print out the OP from the thread: Stages of Grief and give it to them. Let them know that, as long as they still love you, it's okay if they have some of these other feelings for a while, it's a normal response. You might also look into family support in your area. I think this would be FFLAG or PFLAG UK--I don't have links for those, but Google should turn them up.

It can help a lot if you show that you've considered their feelings.

One thing you could do, is have an email ready, and let them know it's coming by text message. ("I'm sending you an email about something important. I'm going to be worried about it until I hear back from you, so please respond as soon as you can.") Also tell them whether you want them to reply by text or email.

 

Ianthe said it all. Very well. I'd talk to them personally but that's just me. But I never really had the experience of coming out to my parents---they decided to approach me about it.

All I'd like to add is doing it when you're comfortable. If you've waited this long...you can wait longer if need be.