Older relationships

Personally I think 14 years of age is too young to be having numerous sexual (or any actually) encounters. There is no such thing as completely safe sex and you are so young. If you are having sex with with people over 18 years of age, they can get in serious trouble even go to jail. There are so many things that you should be doing at your age and sex is the last of them.

 

Well said Becky.

Plus...think of it from the perspective of the people you are hooking up with...think about what their character must be to not feel any remorse from exploiting a young teenager for their sexual desires?

 

Hey hey,

WOW sex at 14 thats quick....hmm but a 5 year gap is pretty big, plus its illigal... i really dont segest hooking up with people that old.. Sorry if thats not the responce you wanted

Catch

 

umm i really don't see the big screaming deal about being with someone older than u cuz it's what's customary where i am from but sex at age 14...when i was 14 only 2 things were on my mind.....Kim possible and school

call me nerd or whatever but gosh, don't u think ur too young and too hot to be even worrying about finding someone ur age. plz honey, leave those drama for the soup-opras. it's just a phase of insecurity i guess. we all have them but still....wow. :eek:

 

You can have relationships with whoever you want, even if it is people 5 years older. But if you have sex it is illegal (stupid OLD law)

 

Hooking up and hanging with people 5+ years older than you is fine, age shouldn't be a barrier between friendship but I do agree with the others on the question of having sex. Never mind the law already, you need to be psychologically and emotionally ready for everything that sex implies, physically anyone can do it but there are always other things to be taken into consideration.

Most laws banning older people from having sex with younger people are meant to protect the younger person and there is a very good reason for this. I am not saying that this is the case for you but you are ready to do things at 18,19,20 which are not necessarily good for you psycologically at 14.

Enjoying older peoples company does not make you slutty and I think the word paedophile rather tends to mean dirty old men preying on young children under 12 or at early puberty or kids young enough to be their own kids, not young adults of 18,19,20 hanging round a boy of 14! Let's not exagerate here!

 

Yeah I definately agree with Louise on this one, I guess since I am like about 5 years older it's kinda funny to think that I'd be put into a paedophile category so carelessly if in a similar situation.

As a 19 year old, TRUST ME (soon you will be here too) what you know at 14 WILL CHANGE by the time you get older! Sex is fulfilling for various needs we have, but it can also impact your psychological thinking later on. I can totally understand why it is looked down upon, even in my instance, like if I was to try and hook up with a 14 yr old..... because I am past that growth period and I do know better,but thats not the case with everyone. I generally believe, based on information I've accumulated that your first sexual experience is the outline for the rest to come.... now lets say your first time is when you are 14, so you spend time growing up and now you are 19, and you meet a 14 yr old who is ready to give it up to you... to me.. it seems like a cycle.

Hope that didn't get complicated. Basically, no you aren't a slut.... and yeah be aware that many people your age will see that as a sign of "sluttiness" and many people older will look down on it as illegal/immoral. All of that notwithstanding it really is your own choice and life, it's definately harder for younger people to meet of the same general age because at that age everyone is more insecure i.e. less likely to make a move/give signals. Don't worry, you'll be fine, don't let others get you down for choices you've already made, just learn from them so YOU know what YOU want and what YOU can do about it.

 

Older/younger, younger/older doesn't really matter as long as there is a limit on expectations in the sexual realm. If someone is under the legal age of consent, then of course that has to be strictly adhered to. It is actually there for a reason and of course there are all sorts of exceptions, etc, but the laws do not spell out exceptions. Being with someone older can be a very positive and beneficial thing for someone younger. Mentors appear to be sorely lacking now days.

Also, there are some younger people who just feel more comfortable or better suited with older people as they may have matured faster. Again nothing wrong as long as the sexual aspect remains off limits until all involved are able to make a proper decision if that is to be considered a part of the equation.

Personally, I know a number of younger people (18-22) and we are great friends. We associate weekly and monthly and have a great time. It is funny how often they will call with questions of the most mundane nature, but since we have a trust and caring, they feel free to ask anything and of course we (partner and I) are more than willing to offer what advice and dare I say, wisdom whenever we can.

Pedophile is a term used if someone has a sexual attraction and need with anyone that is prepubescent (before onset of secondary sexual characteristics such as pubic hair, voice deeping, breast development, etc.). Ephebophilia is the term for attraction to pubescent males (teenagers under 18). So you can see why pedophile has become the catch all term for the various attractions, but in truth they are separate conditions, but for society it is not.

 

Pedophile is a term to frequently used in my opinion on many people not deserving of it.... My ex was 28 years old i was 19 that's almost a 10 year age gap, but i was of legal consenting age but that didnt stop stairs from people around us, and not because we we're gay and together we we're even stared at while holding hands and dancing at Gay Pride in Seattle and Gay Pride in Portland last year...... it became a issue when it never should have been, he didn't like being judged, i didn't like seeing him judged like that.... But we eventually broke up for different reasons i could never see loving someone based on age or based on how others judge you.... I do not reccomend having sex with anyone at your young age but who are we to condemn you, your not an adult but sometimes you have to think about the person your with if you care about them so much do you want to see them go to jail if you are caught when they don't deserve it? because they will whether you both agreed to it or not....that's the law..... Anyway you are not a slut and have fun but be safe and cautious and know what your getting into ok?

 

just be carefullllllll