Okay, this is quite complicated. I told someone that I'd known for literally a day that I'm gay because he's bisexual and thought it would help. I was drunk when I told him. I'll get straight to the point without going into detail. He's really confident with his sexuality and is really flirty. I realised the next day that I'm REALLY not ready for all that and he keeps insinuating that we do things and that I should tell people. I've tried to make it clear, but he doesn't really understand. I know for some people this wouldn't be a bad thing and anyone else would jump at the opportunity. I'm just not ready, I don't truly feel as comfortable with it as I thought I did and I'm in major panic mode that somehow this will cause me to somehow be outed. This could just be paranoia, but I have no idea what to do. :bang:
tell him that he just needs to leave you alone , sit down and say " i didn't intend to tell you or anyone at the time . i was just drunk and it spilled out. i am NOT ready to be as passionate about my sexuality as you are". tell him that you have no interest in being with him or telling anyone else - and if all else fails . ignore him. i hope that sort of helped ^.^ (friend me or somethings..maybe?)
k I might have this wrong so please correct me if I do. So do you not want to do things with him? Or You dont want to tell people? Or Both? If you dont want to do things with him, then just make that clear very gently. Whether he wants you just for sexually reasons, or is a nice guy who really likes you, rejection is always tough, so be as nice as possible. Tell him the truth. Whether its, he isnt your type or you just dont want a relationship right now. If it is that you dont want to tell people, then thats different. You should come out to people when YOU are ready. However, maybe you should talk to him about why he thinks you should come out, because maybe if you understand his opinion then it could help you get over the barrier. If its both than thats ok too. But I will say that you are putting too much stress on yourself. Like I said, you should come out to everyone when you are ready. However, you shouldnt have to worry everytime someone finds out your gay. There are plenty of people out there who will love and accept you for who you are, so if your not coming out because you are afraid of what everyone around you will think, than, pardon my language, but F**K THEM!!!! lol.
It takes quite a lot of guts to come out to someone you barely know... so let me start by saying props to that. I think I'd freak out too if some guy would be super flirty so I can get your reaction. Best thing to do is tell him you're not interested but I'd do it in a way as nice as possible. If he takes it well you might still be friends and it's always cool to have a friend who is LGBT too About the fear of being outed, if he asks about it I'd be honest about that too. You could lie about being gay but since you've already told him you might as well be open about it (...to him at least). I'd tell him you're not ready for the world to know and even though he's super comfortable with his sexuality you are not that comfortable with yours yet. He should respect that (cause he's probably gone through the same, even if it's been years since) and if he doesn't respect it he's, let's put it as it is, a fucking jerk. ...so yeah, after typing this I realised it's basically is what the others already said :/
Be honest. When you can get him alone, sit him down and tell him basically the same thing you told us. "You know, I'm flattered that you find me attractive and want to hook up. (If you find him attractive as well, point that out.) But I just don't think I'm ready for any of this yet. I'm still not comfortable with it yet. I'm not going to lie, I'm kinda panicking that I told you. I wouldn't have even said anything if I wasn't drunk. I'm sorry that by coming out to you, I let you think that I was ready for something... I'm just not." And just take things from there.
I really appreciate every ones input! I've basically given subtle hints that I'm not interested in a relationship and that seems to have worked, the texts are much more subtle today. I also said I'm not ready for people to know so I really need him just to be there for me as a friend and that I don't really want to discuss it too much. I guess this gives me an incentive to come out sooner than originally planned, but I'm just not ready right now. I just feel so dumb for telling him, but another part thinks if I didn't, maybe it would take me a lot longer to come out to anybody else. I just really hope things don't turn sour and I'm hoping this is my mind working in overdrive when it comes to me worrying. He's just very confident and open and I think there's a possibility that he could tell someone. I think right now whilst the conversation is quite normal, I should forget about it, but if he brings it up again I'll have to put him straight. Thanks again!
Lewissss, I had an episodes similar to your situation many years ago when I was about your age. I had nearly forgotten it. I remember that it was a few days of non-stop panic-attack. Gawd that was awful. No doubt you have went through the same thing. It is pretty traumatic as you now know. I'm glad to hear that you have the situation under control. Sounds like you handled it very well. Don't let this leave a scar, and don't feel like anything/anyone can push you to move faster than you want things to move. This kind of thing happens and it is not worth any worry or regret. Kudos to you for your impressive handling of the situation. It shows great character in you.
