FTM frusterations..

that is how i feel!

join the club.

IF I got a straight girl as a friend to like me, and I started to want more, how on earth will it happen? seriously! They don't see us way we do in our heads!

But the surgeries I saw online they don't look real enough to me. I want to be a real man, not a butchered monster...what do you think odds are it wil get better if nobody discusses this in public forum, that we exist and a lot of us?

 

strangely is not strange to me at all.
i rarely cry over it.
except when i really think about what i want and do not think i will ever have.
i do not think any of the cis-guys on here know how we feel, that we are their brothers truly, but are trapped!
even my good gay friend who is about to get out of hospital, he said today he has 2 sisters, and it made me sad, not happy as he intended, cuz he was the 2nd person i came out to as a transman. i had really hoped he got it that i am his BROTHER, i love him as an older brother, and to say sister is to categorize me with those who have thoughts and bodies that in my mind are nothing like mine.
i am always assigned to the female group.
i would even die to belong to the gay men's groups! any men's groups! we just die inside little by little being placed with only women...as if to say we must accept this fate, and nothing we say or do will matter to anyone. :'(

Even on EC, i get the feeling the bisexual and gay men don't get us, that we are females in their minds no matter what. and i wonder how they would feel if we started using female pronouns when we talked about them, or said they are sweet ladies? just curious if it would make them shocked, confused, complain, and tell me "um, you know I'm a guy right?" and then they maybe would get it when i said, "you know I'm a guy right?"

just saying...
wish i felt support from men,
and not all the lesbians and bisexual women...cuz they try to help, but don't get it either.
Straight men think I'm a girl and should have sex with them as a girl so i can become a girl and like it. Lesbian women think I'm a girl and should have sex with them as a girl so i can become a girl and like it.
um,
Im a guy.
Im not becoming a girl.
Just like a straight man won't become a woman and a lesbian won't become a man!
and frankly i would rather become a man in body then a woman in spirit, cuz our bodies are just a container, but my spirit and mind is who i am and i don't want to be somebody else, just be allowed to be me.

I bet you agree with some of this?

 

Cute venting. Not sure what to say.. I guess I'd feel like you guys feel if I wasn't married to the most wonderful woman in the world. She treats me like the guy I am.. or... more exactly, she stays with me through everything.

While we're just transmen talking, do you have some sort of trigger sometimes in your life that makes you go more feminine? I didn't think I had one but I've had it pointed at me that I melt down when I see kids and kittens

 

Hum, venting, ok. Venting mode: on.

.... can't. I'm sorry. That may be something I should be venting about too. I can't let out bad emotions much other than in art, and even then, it comes out pretty. Working out and doing art. That's pretty much how the sh*t gets out.

I mean... yeah things are expensive, but everybody has to get their priorities straight. My priorities are not to get expensive surgeries and such. So what, my body doesn't fit my soul...? It could be worse; at least it works. If I transformed it it may would not work, so..
I find myself lucky. It's like being a man with machine parts that you can switch.. now how many cisgendered guys can pretend to that?

But sorry, I'm just lucky. You have the right to vent. Forget me and go on.

 

yeah, you got it bro!
they want the moolah!
notice how the few binders are from Asia, and cost more than the should be about double?
i am in business in college, that is an oligopoly, where a couple companies can work together to set prices high for those who must have it if no substitutes exist.
oh sure you could use sorts bra, but it is for many of us not equal.
and the replacements for missing parts?
do they really want to work on genetically creating perfect penis and testicals for what perhaps they see as crazy women?? I'm no feminist, but i do think it is possible that we are ignored more because of that...so they have multiple surgeries for bilking all the $$$$ from rich mtf ladies, to make them dynamite hot, but even Chaz Bono will end up looking like an ugly older woman with Frankenstine scarred body and not much ability sexually.
I betcha if they wanted to they could do a far better job, but you not need to improve service or product if you control a market.
there should be a law.
where is Obama for us?? I never heard him saying how he will make transsexualism one of his top priorities as a minority group to get better counseling for all and make institutions and businesses more trans-friendly...like the bathroom thing.

i am usually just assumed a female, but one woman came out of restroom and as i went past her she said "oh sorry sir..uh, huh?" so it was amusing!

---------- Post added 19th Jun 2012 at 07:37 PM ----------

Well, they could get castrated, and then do it just like you do. But they will not. Because they love their penis, and we just feel castrated. I even imagined mine as a child, sadly, looking at a toilet and can't pee right. No little boy should feel like I did.

Yeah you are very lucky. But not everybody like you is. I do hope you don't plan in your comfortable life to be apathetic or forget about your brothers who have nothing you do. I would hope all transdendered men would be allied to make America at least safer for all transgendered people, men and women, and get equality in healthcare, and everyday things, like family restrooms.

 

I come across as apathetic! (had to look this one up) sorry I really didn't meant to!

Yes, feeling castrated... that's the perfect phrasing for it. Castrated physically and socially. I think the worse is the social part though, when people generally consider us not to be real men, full men.

Say, I got lots of my body tattooed on, over...; whole back, some on my arms, full chest, hip, full leg, foot, even on my ear. I got stretched ear holes and plenty of piercings, why do you think I felt the need to start into body art when i was barely 12 years old? That's because I wanted to appropriate my body. Because it doesn't feel like it's mine. Hell I don't even feel through the most womanly parts, that's like my nervous system isn't made for me to be a girl at all. When I get body art, my body becomes a bit less of a doll that I control and a little bit more mine but it's still no cure. It's still a decorated doll and that's all.

No little boy should feel like you did, I agree, still there are way worse fates... We should ally that's true. I'd do it you know. And I will have to explain the transgenders to lots of ignorant people when my daughter starts school; I'll have to defend my wife against stupid haters, maybe physically too.

Wow I CAN vent!! While I'm at it, I have a sprain in my right wrist. Started to work/train too hard too quick and now I'm off work and the insurance won't pay because there was no injury report. Yay..

 

I know how you feel. I get really upset all the time, also to the point of crying, because I know that I can never really be who I'm supposed to be. I also hate having to explain to people that I'm not a girl. And no matter how hard they try, nobody who isn't trans is ever going to understand how we feel. They can try, but they have no clue how it feels to be trapped in a body that isn't what it should be. I really hope they can develop surgeries that can make our bodies look and feel like they're supposed to, so we don't look like 'that girl who had a sex change' because it's just not who we are.

 

Here, here! I get that.

I thought the guy I came out to, first person I knew for years and went to college with, and an openly gay guy too, would undy because he has many trans buddies. But he kindly called me his sister, and uses she and woman to me recently. I didn't even know what to say. I know when we met I was to him a Christian nice GOP lady, and I know he does not recall me being overly male acting...duh I tried to hid it...but he said he was happy for me and supported me, but then he said this. It was a real downer, to feel let down by the one guy I had hoped could see me as how I am. I can't really complain, I once told him homosexuality is wrong and I loved him anyways which is why I can't support equality in marriage. :eusa_doh: Yeah, well, that was then...this is now...and guess I deserve it. :/

I really hope and pray one day they find a way to alter our own genes in a lab to make them form a realistic penis and we won't reject it cuz it has our own cells. That would be the closest to real we can get.

Until then, I will just dress male, and begin slowly to stop acting all the time for others, just be my usual goofy self, and live life as is. My body maybe always reminding me I am not seen for what I am, but I can still in my suffering try to be a good person and a gentleman even if assumed a lady, I can do good for others. Nobody can take my soul, I gave it to Jesus. So I will survive. Im a tough one.

 

That's incredibly insulting to the transguys who decide to get surgery. If you don't like the options available, just say "it's not for me", but talking about other people's bodies looking monstrous and not being "real men" is totally inappropriate, not to mention untrue. You're also acting like FTM's have it so much worse; yes, our surgeries aren't as advanced, but the effects of testosterone are permanent. Estrogen may make a transwoman's features softer, but many require facial reconstruction, electrolysis, and voice therapy to make themselves feel comfortable in their own bodies. You're free to vent of course, but let's be considerate of other people's feelings here, and not make false generalisations.

 

^That. So glad I wasn't the first to mention the inappropriateness of the opinions expressed in this thread. Yes, they are opinions, but I think it's important to be mindful that these aren't inanimate objects you are talking about. These are peoples bodies. And as a transgender man who WILL be having one of these surgeries, I was offended.

Also, if anyone has done RECENT research and seen RECENT photos of results from various surgeons across the world, you would know that Google is NOT your best friend when looking for FTM bottom surgery information. The options that are available to us are outstanding but, as with all surgery, they come with the risk and varying results due to a variety of factors.

With some available procedures, tactile and erotic sensation, ability for natural erections and ejaculation are possible. Possible, not guaranteed. Many post op men can, and have, gone through a hospital with NO detection.

As far as costs, everything costs money. If you need something, you buy it. For those who truly can't afford things, there are programs available to assist with SRS/GRS. And despite what many people believe, insurance CAN and DOES cover transition related surgeries... EVEN when they say they don't. Some people would just rather think and feel negatively about things instead of being proactive and hitting the ground running, advocating for themselves. But, to each their own.

</rant>

Kaden Michael

 

I notice you claim new photos and stuff so much better, where is links?

From what me and others have seen many things done look either unreal to say the least, or they cut in your arm leaving a big obvious tell-tale scar for all to see...and the result down below still was not normal.

As somebody gone through surges AND plastic surgery, I know about scars. I don't take this thing lightly. They get paid astronomical amounts of money, so it had better be worth it to get under the knife.

i have seen some FTM who do not look like men, they look in-between and effeminate men or very masculine women, just makes them look older. The fact mtf can do allll
those surgeries to end up fixing the stuff estrogen can't is my point! The doctors bilk a lot out of people, prices don't need to be so high. But Transwomen i have seen bottom results and they sure look real to me. " Estrogen may make a transwoman's features softer, but many require facial reconstruction, electrolysis, and voice therapy to make themselves feel comfortable in their own bodies." THAT was my point!

I saw a site where cis-men were cruel and making fun of the junk transmen had...they had it under a string of photos. Believe me, I said what I did based on what I seen. what THEY said was mean and cruel. What I said is why I will not pay thousands until they come up with far better stuff. All medical is outrageous, and not everybody is going to be able to get it paid for...that homeless guy who posted this? WHAT insurance? He is homeless! IF he gets some money in a job for some help, I rather doubt they gonna give him the best possible work. Is that negative? I am a realist. If I just let everybody be all "it is perfect, no problems at all" then I am doing harm for not saying that there are needs for vast improvements.

But until I see proof that things are better, what I said stands. I saw frankenstein-like scars and butcher jobs! The dates were not that long ago. How do you know that is not the best I can get where I live right now?

But my opinions are not important, because it is not what you want to hear. Then again, I wasn't actually writing to you, was I? So if I offend somebody...ooops, not the first time, won't be the last I'm sure.