Hello everyone! I'm Alex and I'm 19/almost 20 years old. My birthday's on friday (!) haha, anyways that's not the point. The thing is that I've been thinking about coming out to my best friend for a very long time. I keep having all these signals (I know it sounds stupid) telling me to come out, and also I'm getting tired of living in the closet. Plus, she's very accepting and all, she even has a lesbian sister who she loves. That's not what scares me. There are two issues that I can't get off my mind, and I would like you to help me please. The first thing, is that I haven't fully accepted myself. Sometimes I feel great and I enjoy being gay and the next day I can't stand it. I know that this is a slow process, but I wonder, how could I tell her I'm gay and expect her to accept me when I haven't even accepted myself? Isn't that a bit contradictory? And the other thing is that I'm scared for the post-coming out part. I mean, I don't want things to change between us, I don't want things to get awkward or uncomfortable you know? I want our friendship to be the same or even better. So yeah, that's it. I'm sorry for the long post but I really really need your help! Thanks in advance :icon_wink
This is not a long post, and you don't have to apologize--our participation here is voluntary, and we do it because we like it. This girl is sure to be accepting, and your friendship will be deeper and more authentic once you have come out to her. Talking to someone about it who accepts you will help you with self-acceptance; having it as a total secret actually gets in your way of accepting yourself. I definitely think you should tell her. Do you have any reason to think she might be interested in you romantically? That's the only thing that I think might cause troubles.
I'm with Ianthe, telling her will make your relationship with her even better, it makes it so that you can be more open when you talk to her about your life, and she can be there for you as a friend while you're going through all this. also, your post is short, if you've ever seen a thread I've started, THOSE are long, lol edit: ps, happy early birthday
I agree with the above, telling her will make you two closer. For me, none of my friends acted any differently around me. It wasnt brought up in conversation unless I did. So a lot of time accepting friends don't really treat you differently. I don't think you need to fully accept your self when coming out, I wasnt a hundred percent sure when I first came out, nor am I now. Maybe being able to talk about it with someone will help you fully accept yourself.
Agree with the guys above. You'll be sooooo happy you told her, and you'll feel really good about it. Even a few moments of just plain giddy. "Yey me! I did it!"
