Okay, so I'm just going to put everything in brief. In 8th grade I started to think I was gay because of this dream where I was kissing a guy I knew, but I didn't really like guys, per se. Fast forward to my freshman year, I started to crush on some girls, had a girlfriend for about 2 months (we're pretty good friends now, and she's really the only one I keep in touch with since I moved just 2 weeks ago) , but we never really kissed. At most we had just held hands. We broke up after a while, and after her I started questioning my orientation again. The thing is, I can fall in love with a girl and feel a deep bond with her, but I never really feel a physical attraction to her, while with a guy, well, it's the opposite. I guess I like the male "physique", but I don't really see myself having an emotional relationship with a guy. So.. what does this mean?:bang:
I know I'm answering your question with another question, but have you ever heard of the term (or is it label?...i dunno) hetero-romantic/homo-romantic? What that means is that while you are sexually attracted in one gender, you like the thought of being with another gender. From your description it sounds like you could be bi, but the above shows another possibility I don't know if you've considered.
Hm, so I looked those two things up, and, well, I don't really know. Maybe meeting someone will shift it one way or the other?
I would say try to date a guy, see how dating a guy makes you feel vs dating a girl. Usually that will give you a better insight as to your orientation
It is very common to feel that you won't be able to develop romantic feelings for a same-sex person when you are first coming out to yourself. Once people are more comfortable with their sexuality, they almost always find that they can, and that they do when they have relationships. Most people I have seen come here and describe their experience the way that you have eventually identify as gay. It's fine if you aren't ready for that, though.
It means you're still working it out. And that's totally fine. It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that you're one piece of information away from "getting it". Understanding your sexuality completely, and being able to sum it up in one or two words. But a lot of the time, people aren't. So you just are stuck in this "it's complicated/I'm not sure" phase. And again, that's fine. If anyone asks (including yourself), that's your answer. Lex
I'm not sure how else to put it, so I'll just copy it verbatim from my journal. Dear Diary, We're finally moved into our new house. I suppose that's good. Though, that's not what I wanted to write about. I had been identifying myself as bisexual because I got crushes on girls and felt that guys were hot. Now, though, after talking with some people on this forum called EmptyClosets, I'm not sure if I really am bi. I really don't want to be gay, I've always pictured myself settling down with a girl. I want children, not adopted ones, but my own biological children. You can't have them with a guy..
The one thing I learned is, don't try and label yourself straight away. Sexuality is fluid - so go with the flow! You definitely don't have to start thinking of yourself as "gay" or "bi" (or anything else) if you're not ready.
One thing to keep in mind - don't try to steer this train. You'll be what you'll be. If you're five feet tall, it doesn't matter how much you might WANT to be six feet tall - you'll still be five feet tall...but then you'll be five feet tall and miserable. Resign yourself to the fact that whatever you end up being, you'll be cool with it, and you'll make it work. Lex
