Describing the difference

seeing as I know so little, but i think every thread should be answered, I turned to google and found this...
"A bisexual is someone who is attracted to both males and females. Pansexuals are "gender-blind", it doesn't really matter if their partner is male, female, mtf, ftm, or whatever else. I like to think of it as being attracted to the soul, and not to the body, but that's just me."

hope that helps

 

If someone asked me what a pansexual was, I'd describe it as follows...

People who are bisexual can identify on various ends of the spectrum. A bisexual person can, for example, be more attracted to the same sex than the opposite sex, but still have a significant amount of attraction to the opposite sex to not identify as gay. The reverse is also true.

A pansexual differs from the standard definition of bisexuality in that its a declaration that they are romantically, emotionally, and sexually attracted to people not based on gender, but on personality. They are equally attracted to both men and women, though they don't view people through the lens of gender - either biological or transgendered. They see people for people, not for the fiddly-little bits they happen to be born with (or without).

Thus, someone who identifies as bisexual might still see gender differences, whereas someone who identifies as pansexual wouldn't.

 

Hmmm. I would say "other factors" rather than "personality."

And I despise the bit that implies that the rest of us don't see people as people, or that the rest of us are basely attracted to peoples mere bodies, while the obviously higher minded, more spiritually developed pansexuals are attracted to their souls. If you leave that in, people are likely to be offended. It just isn't a good idea to leave in things that imply that your orientation is superior to others. People don't like to feel like you are looking down on them.

I would describe pansexuality as a particular type of bisexuality in which gender is not a factor at all in attraction. Other bisexuals may be attracted specifically to more than one gender.

It's fine to mention that pansexuals are attracted to people outside the gender binary, and transgender people, and explain that the word is purposely and explicitly inclusive of such people, as long as you don't imply that bisexuality is necessarily exclusive, because it is not. (Many self-identified bisexuals will, and have, dated people outside the gender binary and transgender people.)

The definition of "bisexual" is fully inclusive of the definition of "pansexual." If you are trying to tell people that the definition of bisexual does not fit you, it will not work because pansexuality is clearly included in the definition of bisexuality as it has been used for a very long time.

When people say, "so, you're bisexual, then?" you can say "yes, but I prefer the more specific category of pansexual, because gender isn't a factor in my attraction at all, while for some other types of bisexuals it is. Also, it's important to me to be clear that I include transgender people and people who don't identify as fully male or female--it's possible to be bisexual and exclude these groups."

If you avoid anything that implies that your sexual orientation is superior to other people's, you are much less likely to get a bad response. Unfortunately, many people have already encountered the attitude that it is superior, and this will color their feelings about the term.

All types of sexual orientation are involuntary. No type of sexual orientation should be equated with a higher degree of open-mindedness or spiritual development. If you imply that people with your sexual orientation are more open-minded or spiritually developed than people with other sexual orientations, the people with other sexual orientations that you talk to about it are likely to think you are a snob.

I don't mean to accuse anyone of being a snob; I'm mentioning all this because some of the "turned-off" response to you telling people you are pansexual may have something to do with this issue, so I think it's relevant to your question.

If you concede that pansexuality is a type of bisexuality, and avoid an air of superiority while explaining what it means to you, I think that's the best you can do.

 

I wasn't trying to imply that we (non-pansexuals) are only attracted to people because of their bodies and not numerous other factors. Obviously, that's false. I was, however, saying that we are attracted to people based on their gender. This by definition is what it means to be gay or lesbian - we are attracted exclusively to the same sex. It is also by definition what it means to be straight - they are attracted exclusively to the opposite sex.

So, I guess at the root of it, it depends on how you define someone based on their gender. I don't consider someone born with a penis to be a male, because really that's not what makes a man. If he were in some accident, and he lost his penis as a result, that doesn't make him any more or less of a man before the accident. Likewise, a FtM transsexual isn't any less of a man because he was born with a vagina instead of a penis.

From my perspective, I wouldn't see them anything less than men... but I would still identify them as MEN - which is the important part.

The distinction between male and female is irrelevant to the pansexual, but for me as a gay man - it's highly relevant. I'm just not romantically or sexually attracted to women.

And to be clear, I'm not defining "man" as "macho", "straight acting", or "masculine" - however one wants to define it. I'm attracted to many types of men, including those who appear more stereotypically effeminate or androgynous. (In fact an androgynous man can be incredibly hot.)

I mentally separate someone who identifies as bisexual from someone who identifies as pansexual. I do so for this reason: many bisexuals still see and identify with the gender binary world view. If you listen to many bisexuals they may even favor one gender over another.

I do believe pansexuality is a subset of bisexuality, but by its nature it must be a 50/50 bisexuality - an attraction to both genders equally. That's what allows the pansexual to stop viewing sexuality through the perspective of the gender binary, but also what separates them from some other bisexuals.

Of course, we're always likely to find ourselves in hot water when discussing other peoples sexuality. I don't have anything to go on other than what other people say, having never been anything but gay my entire life. :icon_razz

 

I think Ianthe is spot on.

Honestly, I wouldn't worry too much about what other people may label you as because it really doesn't matter. If your friend thinks you are bi, then just let it be. They understand that you will be dating people of different genders, and if they are okay with that then why care so much for them to understand the small differences?

From what I have heard, there is a lot of confusion talking about pansexuality because, like Ianthe said, there are a lot of people who describe themselves as gay, bi or straight, that have dated and have fallen in love with people who are trans, so it really blurs out the line between pansexual and every other sexuality out there.

I met a person who identified herself as a lesbian. She has always dated girls and only girls, but one time one of her girlfriends came out as a trans man. To her it was hard to get used to, but since she was in love she stuck around with him. So depending on who you ask some people would tell you that she is straight now since she is in love with a man, some people would say she is pansexual because he is a trans man, some people would say she is still a lesbian because its just a "one time thing", and if you ask her she will simply tell you she is queer.

The point is, be okay with your sexuality and then try to be okay with people getting it wrong. It doesn't change who you like or if they are okay with you

 

Well, I've been thinking a lot on this exact dilemma lately. "Pansexual" describes me much better than bi-anything, but on the other hand, there is that problem of "No letter P in LGBT (or in my browser's spell-checker)" so it's much easier to find someone who halfway understands what the heck you're talking about if you just call yourself "bi."

I feel these orientations are close enough that I'm not lying by just calling myself "bisexual" for simplicity sake and bringing up any differences between bi and pansexuality only if they're particularly relevant.

2 Aldrick... Well, "favouring" one specific point/area in that gender space doesn't necessarily mean you aren't experiencing gender in a "pansexual" way. I personally feel that gender is sort of like... hair colour to me. Yes, I think that other things being equal, people with long black hair (of whatever sex) look hot. Doesn't mean I didn't meet ridiculously hot blond guys or gorgeous redheaded girls. Same here. Yes, I'm generally more attracted to a mix of "typically-male" and "typically female" in people, but extreme masculinity or femininity may be attractive too sometimes...

 

Wow. This isn't really contributing to the thread, but that's beautiful.