If a straight guy really gets around, nobody really minds much. If a gay guy falls for that Ultimate Pickup Line "wanna fuck?" it's just a gay thing. But when I have unclean thoughts about too many people I must combat the stereotype that all bis are sluts and fight biphobia by, well, not acting as a stereotype. Or should I? :bang: I don't ask for fairness, life isnt fair, but something in this line of thinking is just... fishy. Am I misunderstanding something?
It's bad for bi people alright, but that's a two sided coin. The luck you lack into what people think of you is balanced by the luck you have to have more opportunities (2 genders, that's twice more opportunities that gay or straight people have). Depends what you do about it though, who you see and what you say. You don't have to be loud about wanting to f*ck around; you can be vague and evasive about the number of partners you've had (but always be safe). If you behave nicely and not too slutty you should be spared most of the gossips.
Well, it's not so much about "what people would think about me" as about "why I think this way." I just noticed that I'm worriying way too much about me being a stereotype. When I didn't know I'm bi, I was much more tolerant of these things, provided everyone involved understood what's going on. Now it's more like "maybe, all those stories are true, maybe I'd never be able to settle down with anyone because I'm bisexual..." I intellectually understand that ability to be in committed relationships has nothing to do with sexual orientation, that I probably just hasn't met a right girl/guy yet, but I don't really believe it. And on the other hand I feel too much pressure to marry someone just to prove the stereotype wrong, and I'm very afraid that may push me into something I may regret later...
For females one of the stereotypes is that they really aren't bi. But they are just trying to get male attention since guys like two hot girls kissing.
dont worry about the stereotypes- because there stereotypes! not all blondes are dumb , not all black people are good at basketball , not all asians are smart ,ect.
I think gay men are just as afflicted with a stereotype of promiscuity. But I'm sorry that you have internalized negative stereotypes about bisexuality. That can be very difficult. Do you know any other bisexuals?
I think most people, after they come out, have a hard time balancing between being themselves, discovering themselves, and being careful not to fit a stereotype. I personally had a hard time with it all specially with trying to prove the stereotype wrong like you said. What I learned is to not be afraid of being the stereotype if that is what feels right. For example, if a black person likes watermelon or fried chicken then should he stop eating those just to not fit a stereotype? Nope, he should eat and do whatever he feels like doing. Not in order to stop a stereotype or fit into one, but because it just feels right to them. Same goes with you. If you are at a place right now where you have "naughty thoughts" then allow yourself to enjoy those thoughts. Don't stop yourself just because you are afraid of fitting a stereotype. As for your fear of never being able to settle down with someone, I do get it because I had the exact same fear (well not fear, but at one point I sort of "knew" I was never going to settle down), but it turns out that a lot of things can change when you find the right person for you. Until then though, enjoy yourself!! Seriously
That's... very insightful, thanks. Obvioiusly it won't be as simple as all that, but indeed, I think I can believe in it, given time. After all, acting in only counter-stereotypical way in a sense gives the stereotype even more power than fitting it to a T... 2Ianthe: Yes, I think me not seeing much of the fellow bis is probably a part of the issue. There is a discussion/activism/support group for bisexuals in the nearby big city, and I visited their meeting once and really liked it, but it's really difficult to go there regularly because of my work, although I'd very much like to.
