Hi everyone :smilewave I'm a 29 year old woman and I am going through a divorce from my husband of 4 years. Ive been dating for 14 years, all straight relationships, all failed in one way or another. I've always been attracted to the "fairer sex" but in my family being gay is not an option. My parents are devout conservative christian republicans. If my dad even hears the word gay he practically cringes. Unfortunately for them, I can't help how I feel and what I believe I deserve out of life. I'm just now accepting that I'm not a straight woman. nor am i bi-sexual. I've been having a lot of "girls' night outs" as a result of the divorce, and its becoming very clear to me that I'm not just emotionally attracted to my friends, but there are a few who I am physically attracted to as well. I definitely do not want to try and come on to them, for fear of freaking them out and losing the friendship. I feel confident in my sexual orientation and I'm ready to meet other women, but I have no idea how to do it! I need some advice on how to tackle this life change and how to find my first girlfriend (!) HELP! Thanks ~Chanda~
Hi Chanda and welcome to EC! :smilewave First off, do you feel like you have friends or maybe your husband that you're able to talk to about this? Having someone in your life to talk to is a lot better than not having anyone at all. I'm glad you've come to the realization regarding your sexuality and that you want to be true to yourself. Coming out can be a very long and hard process and everyone has different experiences. Congrats on accepting yourself! Sometimes that can be the hardest thing to do.
Hi Gerry! Thanks for the advice, I am in a tough spot as far as telling others in my life. I have one good friend who is bisexual and we have talked about it over the past few years, but I was never ready to admit that I felt a real attraction to the same sex. I finally went to her the other day and told her everything, and we are going to a gay club this weekend, she says she will support me which is awesome My husband is off the map currently, our separation has been brutal, so unfortunately I cant talk to him. Its nice to have a place online where I can begin to get comfortable expressing myself.
well good thing that you found us! we will help you throughout the process. having a bisexual friend is a REALLY good step because they know exactly what you are going through. start ( if you are going to start) by telling a friend that has a pretty relaxed reaction- they always are the most welcoming- or a best friend (sometimes though they are known to already know ^.^) take your own time with this and don't rush! now for looking for a girlfriend, gay clubs are pretty good but a lot of girls are bi and or gay! use your gay-dar and find them! hope i helped alittle. you can always friend me and message me if you need more help!
To be honest, this place is exactly what I needed. I was thinking about doing a lesbian dating service, but it seemed a little extreme for where i am right now. Finding Empty Closets was perfect, because its good to get a feel for a whole new lifestyle before i jump right into it.
