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Gaydar, noticing someone who's gay.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by dc101, Jun 20, 2012.

  1. dc101

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    I'm only just beginning to accept myself and embrace the gay lifestyle. What I was wondering is how do tell whether someones gay or not if you're just passing them in the street or chatting to them casually.

    I know there was a time you could tell by the way they dressed or acted but these days it seems all straight guys dress well and often act a bit camp.
     
  2. Drakey

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    there's no real way to tell if they don't dress all campy gay. Personally, my gaydar is terrible, so they have to tell me they're gay xD I've always believed the gaydar to be a myth, there are tons of gay people who you would never know to be gay out there.
     
  3. timo

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    If there's such thing as a gaydar mine is definitely broken. Unless it's really obvious, but even then they or someone else need to tell me just to be sure.
     
  4. pastol

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    I've had people ask me, IN A GAY BAR mind you, "Are you gay?" You can't tell, and you can be oh so wrong. Consider this; there is something that happens that is very odd in respect to this. Some "totally straight" guys, when they know you are gay, sometimes treat you special. For some reason, as if they take it upon themselves to protect you, they harbor a special place in their hearts for us, even though they are straight. This can easily set of the infamous gaydar. It's nice, but confusing.

    I'm not sure what era you are referring to when you say "There was a time..." but trust me dahling, looking fabulous has never changed. [​IMG]
    I"m 57 and it sure wasn't in my lifetime. And not in the generation before me either.
     
    #4 pastol, Jun 20, 2012
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2012
  5. Ianthe

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    You can't tell by anything anyone can tell you.

    And nobody's gaydar is 100% accurate--it is based on things that correlate somewhat with sexuality, but not 100%.

    But gaydar is developed by knowing a lot of gay people. When you have known a lot of gay people, your brain unconsciously sorts through data and recognizes when someone has a lot of features that a lot of gay people have, and then it sets of the gaydar. But it is all unconscious--it isn't from anything you are consciously aware of. So no one can teach it to you.

    The whole thing about gaydar is that it works in ways that are not obvious.
     
  6. BodyElectric

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    If there is one, mine is defective. It's incredible how I think a lot of the guys I see are gay. Maybe I just want them to be...
     
  7. King

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    I don't have even have a gaydar. I can't even say "My gaydar is broken!" because I don't even have the slight piece of a gaydar. Sometime could walk up to me with their right ear pierced, wearing rainbows, and with a gay lisp and I still wouldn't guess... I never assume, though. Which sucks for me.

    King x
     
  8. Irish Nurse

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    Funny story, I knew my current bf for 2 years before we started going out, always thought he was straight :lol:

    Friend of mine has an AMAZING gaydar, we got a new flat-mate, she swore he was gay, I swore he was straight, and she was right. She's ALWAYS right!
     
  9. Gleeko0

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    My friends were showing me a picture of a party and I saw a guy between them (about 20 people in the picture), I looked at him and instantly thought "That guy IS gay." seconds later my friends say "Hey, this is Steven (not real name), he is openly gay" and jokingly offered me a meetup with him hahahaha, I politely denied. This is one of the best examples of my gaydar actually working... I can't tell how effective it is because... I don't get a clear answer if the person is, or isn't, most of the times.
     
  10. Ascension

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    My gaydar is pretty horrible.....unless someone tells me outright it's most likely that my dar is wrong.

    Really should have asked for a warranty for my dar at the electronics shop >_<

    ---------- Post added 20th Jun 2012 at 08:43 PM ----------

    Are you a scientist? :lol:
     
  11. Hahaha I somewhat assume everybody has some degree of gay in them; therefore, nobody surprises me when I find out that they're indeed gay (I ask to make sure).
     
  12. dc101

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    it's nice to know it's not just me then. I know a lot of women are really good at spotting someone who's gay. I guess it'll be easier when i come out as they'll know i'm gay.