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is it weird?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Sal, Jun 20, 2012.

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  1. Sal

    Sal Guest

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    kids from school are always making fun of my lack of femininity, and I'm often being mistaken for a guy in public. I'm taller than my mom and always wear clothes that make it hard to tell my gender. It bothers Her when people assume that I'm her son or brother, but I feel happy whenever someone thinks that i'm a guy and treats me as one. That's not bad, or weird is it?
     
    #1 Sal, Jun 20, 2012
  2. kayce

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    I don't think its weird really
    I mean what ever makes you happy, right?
     
    #2 kayce, Jun 20, 2012
  3. LaplaceScramble

    LaplaceScramble
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    That is definitely not weird. Though I'm thinking you think it is weird?
     
    #3 LaplaceScramble, Jun 21, 2012
  4. Sal

    Sal Guest

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    I'm not sure what I think. It feels good whenever someone talks to me like I'm a guy, but then they realize that I'm a girl and act disgusted. Some of the girls even go as far as to make it know that I am not welcome in areas such as the bathrooms or locker rooms. If it's not weird, then why react that way?
     
    #4 Sal, Jun 21, 2012
  5. LaplaceScramble

    LaplaceScramble
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    Well, given your age, kids are going to constantly react badly to things that are different or that they don't understand. Depending on where you live they may act worse than I'm imagining them acting.
    I know that EC is a good place to come to for help, but if it is a major issue, have you considered talking to a school counselor, even if just about being restricted access to places by other students?
     
    #5 LaplaceScramble, Jun 21, 2012
  6. Sal

    Sal Guest

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    I'm not really good at talking to adults or authority figures, but I have brought it to their attention before in the past. They simply told me to ignore it and that it would pass. A teacher once saw a conflict between a group of students and I. We all got sent to the principles office, but they just got a few days of detention. It didn't affect their behavior towards me at all, If anything it just made it worse. sometimes it just feels good to talk to someone that will listen, even if it is only online.
     
    #6 Sal, Jun 21, 2012
  7. LaplaceScramble

    LaplaceScramble
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    Ah, well then. Ya, those adults don't sound very intelligent.

    You say that you often get mistaken for a guy, but then if people realize there mistake they get disgusted. That seems like a very strong reaction for someone to make just for confusing your appearance.
     
    #7 LaplaceScramble, Jun 21, 2012
  8. Sal

    Sal Guest

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    Some choose to hide their disgust and simply ignore me when they find out, which I'm fine with. Yet there are the ones who like to make it known and verbally attack me by spreading rumors and names like transvestite and hermaphrodite or corner me to ask if i have an extra appendage. If disgust is not the reason behind such actions then I don't know what is.
     
    #8 Sal, Jun 21, 2012
  9. LaplaceScramble

    LaplaceScramble
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    Okay, I wasn't aware that it was known you prefered being seen/refered to as male. Thought it was just something you kept to yourself, my bad.
     
    #9 LaplaceScramble, Jun 21, 2012
  10. Sal

    Sal Guest

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    No problem. I've never really came out right in said it before. It just started as a habit i had as a kid. I would always refer to myself as a boy and hang out with other boys my age. People were fine with it in elementary and middle school. Mother kept saying that it was just a phase, but once I entered high school she began worrying about my sexuality and people started treating me differently.
     
    #10 Sal, Jun 21, 2012
  11. LaplaceScramble

    LaplaceScramble
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    Do you have friends at school who don't treat you differently?

    And I'm no expert but it sound sound like you might have gender identity dysphoria. Though that's just from these few message.
     
    #11 LaplaceScramble, Jun 21, 2012
  12. Sal

    Sal Guest

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    There's this girl I'm friends with, she used to flirt with me and it made me began to question my sexuality. However I didn't have any romantic feelings towards her and her actions made me uncomfortable, but we still remained friends. She doesn't treat me differently, but she's not someone I'd talk to about these sorta of things.

    GID? I've heard of it, but i never considered it to be a possibility before.
     
    #12 Sal, Jun 21, 2012
  13. LaplaceScramble

    LaplaceScramble
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    It's good that you have a friend in all this, though.

    The only reason I bring it up is because of how you say you've acted for almost your entire life and because of what you put as your gender.
     
    #13 LaplaceScramble, Jun 21, 2012
  14. Sal

    Sal Guest

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    she certainly does make school more bearable.

    I guess the symptoms do kinda fit, but it's psychological and there isn't a definite way to confirm it. Even if i did have it I wouldn't know what to do, my mother would never approve.
     
    #14 Sal, Jun 21, 2012
  15. LaplaceScramble

    LaplaceScramble
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    Though it's given a psychological name doesn't mean anything special. The only way to confirm it is really what you think. Is your mother's opinion that important to you, or that you worry about how she would act? If you did have GID, then that's something that needs a lot of thinking about and counselling because it is something big to deal with.
     
    #15 LaplaceScramble, Jun 21, 2012
  16. Sal

    Sal Guest

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    I do worry about how she will react, and this is probably something that she should be made aware of. I'm just not ready to have this type of conversation with her, I don't think I'll ever be.
     
    #16 Sal, Jun 21, 2012
  17. LaplaceScramble

    LaplaceScramble
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    Like I said, it's something that requires a lot of thinking about. You have some time to figure it out. Remember, you're only 15, so this isn't something to rush into and something that you don't need to rush into.
     
    #17 LaplaceScramble, Jun 21, 2012
  18. Sal

    Sal Guest

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    Thank you for the advice and for taking me seriously. You are the first person I've spoken to about my problem and you've been very helpful. I will be taking all that you've said into consideration and you're right, I do have a long time to think about this.
     
    #18 Sal, Jun 21, 2012
  19. LaplaceScramble

    LaplaceScramble
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    Well, let's just say that I had a similiar dilemna recently, so I know how it feels. And as long as you ask for help here, you'll get it (*hug*)
     
    #19 LaplaceScramble, Jun 21, 2012
  20. Sal

    Sal Guest

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    It's nice to be able to relate to someone. EC wasn't what I expected. It's so much better than other sites. I now know where to go whenever I'm feeling troubled. Thank your again for being kind and understanding. The world could use more people like you.
     
    #20 Sal, Jun 21, 2012
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