Hey guys, I feel as if I have finally accepted that I am gay. I had gone through a stage of total denial again and even got a girlfriend, which of course turned into a disaster for me and led to a break-up. I realize that to be truly happy in life, I'm going to have to be honest about myself. I need to come out of the closet as a gay man. I'm luckier than others, I guess, since there is a local social group just for gay men in the 20-30 year old age range in my area. I've gone a few times with them to the movies and even out to eat. Both of those times were horrifying to me, but very fulfilling. I loved the guys I was around, but I was so worried the entire time that someone I know would see me. I also want to eventually join a dating site to meet other gay guys, but I am just so afraid that someone will see my profile. I don't really know why I am so afraid that others will find out I'm gay. Some of my friends are very supportive of the GLBT community... some are strongly not… I am afraid that other members of the community will find out, though. I am a teacher, in a rather conservative private school and I am worried that if some of the parents and administers discovered I was gay, there would be a hunt to get me fired, or at least make my life miserable. Unfortunately, I am stuck at that school for the rest of this year. I guess what I am asking, is are there any strategies to deal with this constant paranoia I am feeling? Are there any ways to try to segregate my private and public lives? I NEED to come out of the closet for my own sanity, but my fear of the rest of the world’s homophobia is holding me back in.
hey! cool you teach what grades? Im going to university in fall. I am a Christian. I am not out to anybody I hang out with much, except one gay guy from my former college. I feel ya. I am not sure how to accept what I am, and perhaps am not, and be sure I am going to have a happy future. I think we kinda see our future based upon what we see as normal in society and try to make that happen, right? So by us saying that will make us less happy, or even miserable, we are disobeying the rules of the game. Can you just have some friends, gay and straight, and hang out all of you? Like going to a game or to a sports bar? Then you and just a couple of gay guys from that group deciding to hang out another time will not seem at all strange cuz you are all just friends. ---------- Post added 20th Jun 2012 at 09:39 PM ---------- and oh wow, another person gay from Ohio. What the heck are they putting in your GMO corn feed??
As far as the segregation goes, I've been there/done that. After high school I went to college and made a new set of friends, gay friends. But I still had my family and the residual friends from living in my parents house for my whole life. So for a couple of years I lived a double life. I'm sure plenty of people here also have done this. It was at once wonderful and horrible. Not one friend in the two camps overlapped. I didn't think of myself as out at all. The way I saw it, all of my gay friends just moved into my closet with me, regardless of their own status. I lived in a large metropolitan area, so had little to no fear of being seen in public with them. I don't think I could have done it for much longer. It really does chip away at your sanity. You begin to feel relaxed and BAM, something weird happens. One time a guy spent the night at my place and I forgot that some straight friends were coming by in the morning to pick me up for some plans we'd made. We were still in bed, asleep, naked( ! ) when the straight friends knocked on the door. The guy had to hide in the bedroom until we left. I mean, sounds funny, but it wasn't to me. Not at all. One time a guy came buy and brought this gay porn magazine. I don't know why, it was a joke or something. But he forgot it and it ended up in a stack of record albums. One of my straight friends ran across it before I did. He was a very good friend and never said a word about it. But still, you can imagine my freak-out. No matter how careful you are, mistakes are made. No one can do it for long before the wrong person finds out. I'm sorry to put bad news in response to your question, but that was my experience. I wish you the best and encourage you to do whatever works for you to try to accept who you are. Life will be so much better then.
oh and i just got to tease...so you're stuck in the closet huh? That handle, have you tried oiling it up with any WD-40 and wiggling it around a little?
Thanks for your words and advice. I just need to get the courage to get things started, I guess, and then see where things go from there.
