So yesterday, I was at my friend's end of school year party with a bunch of people, including my boyfriend. During the middle of the party, I happened to be talking with my new guy friend (who's a year younger) alone in a locked room (we were just talking and kidding around, nothing else). My boyfriend suspected something else was happening, and punched the guy, which made me really pissed off that it didn't seem like he trusts me, even though he said he does. Then, after my boyfriend left, we were playing truth or dare. Once I was dared to kiss this girl (I don't have any feelings for her, just friends), and twice I was dared to kiss this guy (I don't have any feelings for him, just friends). Honestly I don't feel it was cheating at all, because they were just dares and I didn't have any feelings for them. But considering how jealous he is, he might think differently. I'm not going to tell him, and nobody else will (I know for sure), but still... He even gets jealous when I text my guy friend (who's like a brother to me and lives states away). I'm not the jealous type, not that I want him flirting with other girls or anything, but I'm fine if he just is friends with them. Plus, there was this transgender guy there, who had been dared to kiss a few girls (not me). My friend later got a text from him saying he thought I was hot (I thought he was hot too...) and that he wishes he was dared to kiss me. I'm kind of attracted to him though... (not that I would cheat on my boyfriend still) I have my semi-formal dance in a few hours, and I'm going with my boyfriend. But I honestly feel like an asshole. He promised he'd always be honest with me, and I'm obviously not being honest with him. But I feel like this shouldn't matter, if he kept a kiss he was dared to do a secret, I doubt I'd be upset. But I don't even know my feelings for him anymore. We've been going out exactly a month today, and he keeps talking about the future, even marriage sometimes. But lately he's been annoying me a bit, and being way too clingy (texting me constantly, hardly giving me time to hang out with friends, punching my friend). I feel like I need a bit of distance (not saying I want to break up with him). ---------- Post added 21st Jun 2012 at 12:52 PM ---------- Oh and the other thing that bothers me is his low self esteem. I'm not saying that I have plenty of self esteem, mine's somewhat low too. But I at least can pleasantly take a compliment, thing somewhat well of myself, and I'm somewhat confident. I know it's not completely his fault for his low self esteem (he was bullied for being fat when he was younger, but he's lost a lot of weight since then). He always calls himself fat and ugly, and criticizes himself. Even if I compliment him, and say he looks cute, he won't just accept it, he'll deny it.
right, im gonna be completely honest with you... it might sound harsh in a way... but its the truth... your only 14-15? you shouldnt have to worry about things like this, your young!!! its a time for you to have fun!! truth and dare is truth and dare, it doesnt normally mean anything... and you guys have only been together a month? the future is ALONG way off.... just dont worry about things like this.. like i sed, your only young!!! soorrry if this sounds harsh, its not meant to sound as bad as it may do.. ut its the truth..
Don't worry, you're not being harsh You're right. That's what I'm thinking, I'm young, I shouldn't be worrying so much. I don't want to think about the future, it's him who always does. All I want is too have a great summer, and have fun! But I don't know, when he's acting like this, it's hard not to worry...
I once dated a guy who sounds exactly like your boyfriend --- and I know, that extreme level of jealousy can be scary sometimes. I'm also not the jealous type. I mean, I wouldn't really want my partner to go around flirting with everybody, and cheating is totally not cool. But I'd have no problem if they wanted to just hang out with their friends and have fun on their own. You're two different people, with different lives, and you definitely don't have to be together 24/7. However, the guy I dated was very, very jealous. He didn't like it when I chatted to other people, he was always accusing me of cheating on him, he'd get paranoid and insecure over the smallest things, and he'd get angry if I said things like, "Wow, Zac Efron/Vanessa Hudgens/Random Celebrity is gorgeous!" :eusa_doh: It was insane. A little bit of jealousy in a relationship isn't always a bad thing. It shows your partner cares about you and doesn't want to lose you. But there's a difference between "jealous" and "possessive". Sure, a relationship is about commitment, but your boyfriend can't expect you to choose him over your friends ALL the time. You need to have balance. If he's forcing you to cut your friends off, put a stop to it. It's not fair. Playing Truth or Dare probably wasn't the best idea. You knew he'd be upset by it, and now you're forced to lie because you don't want him to get angry. If he's anything at all like my ex... he will be majorly pissed. Yes, you're right, your boyfriend should trust you. But remember - trust it something you earn. If you want to prove to him that you can be trusted, you shouldn't be doing things behind his back. So in this case, I agree, don't tell him. But don't do it again. You don't have to break up with him, of course! If you really feel like you can make this relationship work, go for it! But hey, you might not be ready for the level of commitment that he's demanding - and there's nothing wrong with that. (*hug*) I definitely know that feeling of wanting some space. Maybe you feel like he's moving too fast? That's okay! You're young, you don't have to marry the boy. :lol: Only you know what's best for YOU. Anyway, that's my two cents worth. Advice from someone who's been in the same tricky situation before. And sorry for the essay. :icon_redf :lol: Best of luck! (&&&)
Nice to know I'm not the only one who's felt like this! I don't want such a serious relationship like he wants right now. Not that I don't want to go out with him. I just need sometime to myself to hang out with friends. And for him to stop texting me 24/7 and getting so worried when I don't answer right away. Him talking about the future and us getting married scares me, a lot. Mostly because I honestly don't know if I can see us being together that far into the future. I'm 14, I don't want to deal with this stuff, I just want a nice relationship. Even his family seems to be taking our relationship so seriously. Plus the other day, I was at his house for father's day. A bunch of his family were there. We were sitting in another room, and he kept wanting to make out with me. I didn't want to, plus I wouldn't want anyone to walk in. But he tried to force me to make out, although I still wouldn't let him, and I just changed the topic. Usually he isn't like that, but I don't know... But thank you!
Hmm. You know, forcing you to do something that you don't wanna do definitely isn't cool. It doesn't sound like this guy respects you at all. I dunno... Maybe he just isn't the one for you. You can ask him to give you some space, but there's no guarantee that he'll do it. 'Cause you're obviously both looking for different things in a relationship, and you don't have to stick around if being with him makes you so unhappy. In my opinion, this guy still has a lot of growing up to do. (I say this because he sounds a LOT like my ex. Heck, they could be the same person.) Is he your age? Any 14 year old that starts talking about marriage is generally bad news. To quote The Joker - Why so serious? You've got your whole life ahead of you! Right now, you wanna have fun, chill with friends... and that, my friend, is exactly what you should be doing. Hell, relationships are tough. And when you care about someone, you're willing to put up with a lot of crap to make it work. But eventually, you have to stop, take a step back, and decide if it's what you really want.
