Wanting a Boyfriend phase! Ugh :/

I befriended the biggest lesbian I could find and she didn't even know a guy for me.

so.. :/ Best of luck; I know that feel

 

I'm in the same boat as you. I feel like I'll be alone forever because no boy would ever want to date me x.x The best advice I can give you is to be happy with yourself (god knows I haven't followed that advice, but I'm trying). It inspires confidence and people like confidence.

 

I wouldn't suggest going to bars--not really a great way of meeting people, in my opinion.

If there are any activities for gay people in your area, you could get involved in something. You could probably volunteer somewhere.

Or, you could ask your one gay friend that you are out to if he could help you meet more gay people. But I suggested that before...

 

It depends on your character and personality really, here are a few suggestions:

1. Overshadowing desires - find something you're passionate about, and invest heavily in it. Your brain can only be obsessed on so many desires. Potential side effect: you might end up being more obsessed with this new desire than your desire of wanting a boyfriend.

2. Bear with it - Most often, natural desires without external factors (brain altering chemicals) would dissipate with time. This is of course not always the case. This is one of the safest route though, so you might want to try this for awhile before the more aggressive strategies. There are also 2 sub-strategies with "bearing with a desire"
2a. Oblivion - force your brain not to think about it, every time the desire comes up, do something else to ignore it. Force yourself to not mention it and let it slip to the back of your mine.
2b. Expression - talk about it, like on this forum. Tell people about it, think about it once in awhile in moderation.

3. Conquer it - the most complicated of all strategies. This involves understanding why you feel this way, and using logic and philosophies, convince your brain that it's not a worth-while desire at this time. Often this can only work if you dig deep enough to truly identify what it is you want and how exactly to counter fundamental desires.

Everybody is different... so try around, experiment.. and see which methods work best for you.

 

Well, what were you doing for those few days?

If you're getting the sense that it's not purely a boyfriend that you want, you might be right. Trust yourself. When you think of having a boyfriend, what benefits do you imagine it bringing to your life, off the top of your head (don't overthink, just say what comes to mind)?

 

Okay, obviously it goes without saying that you don't need a man to be complete or happy.

However, what's wrong with wanting a boyfriend? What is standing in your way of getting one?

I know exactly how you feel. I've gone through those exact same phases, and I always denied myself the right to seek out a boyfriend because... I wasn't "ready" - my life wasn't in order, I wasn't out to my family, how would I meet someone - I had an excuse. Always I had an excuse. I never put myself out there because I was spending my time trying to be "perfect" for a guy.

The list of my excuses: I don't know where to meet a guy, when my body looks great I'll be more desirable to men, when I'm completely out and open to everyone then I'll get a relationship, when I make more money I'll have an easier time finding a great guy, now isn't the right time - my life is a total mess.

Always I had an excuse, I was trying to be "perfect" for some guy that I couldn't even picture in my head. In retrospect, looking back, this was a huge mistake.

Things are never going to be perfect, and now is never going to be the right time. I was too busy trying to prepare myself for being "worthy" of someone I didn't even know, instead of just accepting the fact that I am worthy right now, and that any decent guy that I meet would see that.

So, I encourage you to examine the REASONS behind not looking for a boyfriend.

 

Just got dumped last week, kind of been in the same boat. To be honest, when I was with a guy it was really bugging me that I had never been with a girl, and now I just miss having a man so bad =/

I'd say just find a way to be happy with yourself and enjoy life as it is. When you're happy with yourself it shows and makes you seem more desirable anyway.