You guys are probably getting really sick of me by now, but everything just seems to have suddenly reached boiling point and I really need people's opinions. A lot of people on EC recommended people watching as a way to try to figure out your sexuality, so I decided to give that a go. It didn't work the first few times, I just felt really awkward and obvious, and seriously paranoid that someone would notice. Last night I went to a pub and tried it again. I felt a lot more relaxed this time, the place was busy enough that I didn't feel as exposed, and the drink I had probably helped too. In a two hour period, I found myself watching 5 different girls. I even found myself playing a sort of scary game of stare-tag with one girl, and couldn't help smiling and blushing the two times she caught me. (Which pathetically is probably the closest I've ever come to flirting with anyone). I did look at one boy, but possibly that could just be because he was definitely the most attractive male there, and I think I sort of wanted myself to be looking at him. Maybe there just weren't many attractive men in the pub and that's why I ended up looking at girls? Just because I think that girls are better looking than guys, does that mean I'm not straight? Today I found myself looking at a boy on the train and in my head I went 'phew so I can't be gay then.' I don't think it's just me being confused that is the problem. How am I going to work this out if I'm trying to swing the results one way and keep discounting any evidence that says otherwise? It's like I'm two different peole about this; I really want to just finally know, and I also just want to run as far as possible in the opposite direction. I don't really feel like I can trust myself that much at the moment. Judging from that particular experiment, what do you guys think? I'm not even really trying to pin down a label really, just- do you think I'm straight or not?
Well I'm 100% gay, but I still look at women sometimes. If there's a really pretty girl in the room, I'm probably gonna look at her and admire her beauty. Heck, I'll even stare at boobs if somebody just has them hanging out there for everyone to see. The difference is that I don't feel anything sexual towards them. Looking does not equal liking. I don't think you should be trying so hard to label yourself as lesbian, straight, bi, etc. If you're attracted to somebody, no matter male or female, then just go with it. But if I had to guess, I would guess that you're bi, but lean toward women. Good luck
