I've never been really good at evaluating people's gender preferences, unless of course it was very obvious. Works pretty well when it comes to men, even the ones who try to be discreet, and who are able to fool others. But with women it's so much harder, since they tend to be a bit more reserved and a lot more successful at being discreet. Short hair and baggy clothes doesn't always mean they're lesbians. That's a stereotype. So when will my gaydar kick in? I'd like to meet someone special, as I finally feel ready for a relationship but I just don't know where to begin... Guess I'm scared of rejection
It's different for different people. Some people develop gaydar fairly quickly, while others never develop it at all. How good are you at "reading" people in other ways? Are you good at telling what other people are thinking or feeling?
Depends on the situation. I tend to get it wrong sometimes. But body language I'm good at reading most of the time.
I think the longer you're out to yourself - and the more time you spend around other gay people - the better you get at it. It's certainly not an innate skill, it's a social skill that can improve (or get rusty) with time. When I first realized I was gay, I had laughably horrible gaydar - I have a "type," and everybody who was my type was gay, and everyone who wasn't, wasn't gay. :lol: As time has gone on, I've gotten decent at noticing whether men who are my "type" are or aren't gay; I still have no clue about guys who aren't my type. So, not that it's very helpful to say "give it time, the more guys you know the better you'll get at it" - but I think that's genuinely how it works.
Thank you, this makes sense. Guess I'll just have to give it time. Best bet would possibly be to go to a gay/lesbian club until I've gotten the hang of it :lol: I've noticed how I tend to see gay/lesbian qualities in so many people I find interesting. And whenever I see a girl I like I automatically try to spot signs that she might be a lesbian, or the very least, bisexual or even just bi-curious. Right now I don't even care if I only get to kiss a woman, I just crave it so much, and hope that my gaydar kicks in so I can go "hunting" Funny thing. Distant cousin of mine (married, beautiful daughter) just seems totally gay to me. The way he dresses, the way he talks and acts. Everything about him is so gay. Very borderline and stereotypical maybe but I'm sure he's closeted and others just don't see past it, since he's always been that way....
I know how you feel VelvetBlade. It's funny but besides the totally obvious, I'm usually right about those one would never have guessed about and also generally only when I do not know or am not attracted to them.
My gaydar is terribly terrible as well! I knew someone for about a year before I realized she was a lesbian! Everybody else spotted it right away because she is stereotypically the one with spiked short hair, dresses in baggier clothing, I thought she was just a tom boy but found out she was a lesbian! Other people it was obvious, to me not so much!! I guess we'll eventually get the hang of it though, and happy hunting!!
That's where it gets tricky. It's been said here before, and I can't agree more that there are many perfectly straight girls who act more gay like actual lesbians do! And then to add to that, you also get men who are just naturally more caring about their appearance and more sensitive and have a "softer" side (won't say feminine exactly) which would/could make someone mistake them as gay. Those things make it even harder to distinguish between actual lesbians/gays and straight people. Guess the only fool-proof way to find out is to get to know them or if you don't mind strange looks, just ask them directly :lol: Thanks, yeah, I think all good things come in time and as time passes, we'll get more confident and better at judging people. Luck to you too
Mine goes on the fritz from time to time. For those are aren't obviously gay it takes more then a passing glance.
Lol, yeah! I need to figure out how to do that better. Had a guy approach me in a club and ask me the other night and I was like Omigodwhatdoisay so I just went "Maybe.." He kept dancing nearby so I kinda went over and went "Why do you ask?" Nothing came of it unfortunately, but it was a fun experience.
I've never had a gay friend and only one long term boyfriend who was more masculine then most straight guys...so I have no gaydar what so ever..the only way I can come close to telling is if I see a fairly masculine guy who seems to act like me when I'm with friends... ignoring women, saying he doesn't have a type of girl, sitting a little close to certain guys..stuff like that.
