I'm just so confused. Could i be ftm?

I dunno for sure because I don't know you personally.... but I would advise you this one thing, that you get down to work NOW and answer this question for yourself, in the end you will save yourself years of anguish and pain if you can. If you are crazy and looking for attention, you have to be the judge of that. Find a few people you know well and trust, and see if they give off any cues to let you know that, yeah, you're seeking attention. But the most important thing you said was that when guys liked you you freaked out. That is something to examine very closely.... I would suggest with a trained professional if you can.... anyway, good luck to you, I wish you the best....

 

Personally, I think it's a possibility. That's how I felt when I was younger anyway. I obviously don't know if everyone feels that way, it's just my experience. So I wouldn't say yes, but I wouldn't rule it out completely either. I think what you need to figure out is whether you're a girl who's a little boyish and likes boys things, or are you a boy who, unfortunately looks like a girl. It's worth really looking into it and trying to figure it out yourself. I found that when I started to question it and find out more, then the answer was obvious.

 

Hi, Welcome to Empty Closets!

When you freak out because guys like you, is it because you don't like them, or because you do like them and it scares you, or is it because you don't like that they are thinking of you as a girl?

Why do you think you are looking for attention? Someone seeking attention would be telling everyone, and you aren't. What made you think that?

 

Well your mom is wrong and it's a possibility that you could be trans. First answer a few questions for yourself.

Do you want to be a girl or are you indifferent?

Do you want to be a boy, or are you indifferent? (Yes this question is different)

How do you feel about your anatomy? (Breasts, genitals, body shape (excluding weight)).

How do you feel about your voice?

What kind of clothes do you wear/want to wear?

Call yourself a girl 5 times, how did that make you feel?

Call yourself a boy 5 times, how did that make you feel?
__

Your sexuality has nothing to do with being transgender. Nor does who you hang out with really. I hung out with guys and am MtF. You know you're Bi, and that's great But it's not the right piece to the puzzle of the question your asking.

If you find out you're trans there are other questions ranging from how you view your body to how you want others to see you; but we'll get to those when you figure out the main question of being trans or not ^,^

 

Well, we've answered quite a few question then ^,^

It sounds like you could be trans, you could also be gender fluid or gender neutral. The important bit right now is to find out what makes you feel better with yourself. You've told me that you're not happy with your breasts so let's try to make them disappear.

You'll want to try a binder, if you can't find one online or can't afford it there are other ways. A bandage for example, just a skin color one which you can find in the pharmacy isles. They both let your skin breathe and are easy to put on. Wrap them around your chest firmly but not too tight or you could damage your breasts. Don't leave them on for more than 8 hours or you might also damage your breasts.

Once you've done that ask yourself how you feel, take a few pictures of before and after and compare them. Do you like before, or after more?

I'm not exactly good at being a guy lol. So I don't really know much on how to make yourself look like one; but my best guess would be to wear some boy's clothes and walk around with them. Do they make you feel better? I did the same with women's clothing.

There's not really anything we can do about your genitals. There's nothing to stuff away really because it's kinda like that anyway. It helps me to just not see them, so long as you're always wearing clothes that's not a huge issue.

I'm always happy to help ^,^

 

well, i looked online at what transgender kids do, and i fit the list 90%, i was 10 not 3 when i 1st knew for sure, but i did show signs before it.
i looked at emotionally and socially how transmen are as adults, i fit in there too.

it appears there are levels of how great the dysphoria can be. some are sadly the true transexuals who cut and mutilate their genitals or try to commit suicide. lucky lucky me, i am not one of them! i do however fit in the next or lower category of transgender/transexual who wants a male body shape and penis, and wants others to see me that way. i like more boy things than most girls...but girls CAN like "male" things...and i think about kissing and fucking AS me being a man. i feel strangely normal in 100% all menswear...but you can be a man in a nighty it does not make you less male...and I talk and move and think in ways that others just come out and say "gosh you are such a boy!" If i TRY to be female, it feels faked, to be male, scary...it feels I'm just being myself, not acting just letting out my naturally gross boyish charms filled with snot! I should add I feel more comfy around other cis-men/boys...not just cute ones, any nice fun gay or straight men...one or a small group of us, far more at ease...until one hits on me as if i were female. Stuck in the LADIES nights out, i feel alone, akward...i love my friends whom are women, but they expect a female mind in me to talk with, and i just must fake a game or say nothing....or my new decision say nothing until i can be a jerk/gross/or otherwise me! I am not yet fully out, but I'm getting closer now, and I am allowing myself the right to not be a female, i can not look at girl clothes and not pay any attention to bf talk and makeup...it is boring..and i can say guy stuff if my mind squirts it out..and if the girls say I'm weird, ONE Day, i will come back bravely, one day i will say "nah, Im just Queer, I'm a man!"

you could be transgender, and even gender fluid, genderqueer, so many possibilities! but I'm glad you are not afraid of being one of us, cuz being yourself is #1, and if you find out you are not a girl, then we will have your back. and if you sincerely search and eventually find out, you just a cute bisexual tomboy, we ft.'s will respect you just as much cuz you respected us.

---------- Post added 23rd Jun 2012 at 02:06 PM ----------

i want your friends

---------- Post added 23rd Jun 2012 at 02:07 PM ----------

FUGS, no! bandages are BAD! Don't use them!
Either stick with a sports bra or go all the way to buying a binder.
ACE BANDAGE WRAPPING is a BIG no no no!

 

haha! Good questions!

Im gonna say it is a person who may feel more feminine sometimes and more masculine other times, and say they have been born with female genitalia, that sometimes is offending and other times less so, and even COULD be they want to use it as a girl sometimes and others strongly want a penis!

I am not like that. There are times of a day or days where my dysphoria is waning and i do not feel anything but apathy for my parts and other times I strongly wish for a penis and mans body and not just sexual stuff, just to be looking at a man's fingers and face and when I speak my voice sounds unusually too high and female. Go figure?

So I don't know if gender-fluidity would be describing the strength of needing to be male, I think not, I think I would like others to define all the different kinds of gender stuff though!

 

Interesting to know that I'm in such a circle of transsexuality... I didn't know ace bandages weren't okay, (I don't have breasts to hide so it's not an area I'm super familiar with) so sorry Y,Y

I agree with a lot of what Deaf not Blind said. The clothes don't make the man despite what the saying says. Same can be said for girls. The big thing is that once you've figured out if you're trans or not you need to put it in your mind that you aren't a girl dressed up as a boy, you aren't living some lie. You need to remember that you are a boy no matter what anyone tells you.

That's the same with me, if I act like a boy I feel distant and retract into my 'shell' as I've called it. I can't really hold a conversation well and feel uncomfortable around people.

Being gender fluid means that your gender personality switches constantly. One moment you could feel like a boy, the other a girl, and another you could feel like neither; but there is a difference between being gender fluid and just not feeling super manly one day. I have my days where I don't feel as feminine and that can last up to a couple days.

Deaf Not Blind seems to be able to explain this stuff better than I can, he knows quite a bit more about being FtM (obviously ) than I do.