I'm a 21 years old girl. I had sex for the first time when I was 14 with a girl who I met at boarding school. We were just having an afternoon nap then we looked at each other in the eyes, we started to kiss and did it. After that the same thing happened another time with the same girl. I was really innocent and had no idea about homosexuality. Then I graduated from that school and moved to Sweden. It seemed like a new start so I forgot all of those stuff. When I was in high school I had several relationships, all with guys, during those days I still see girls that I really like and feel attractive but nothing had happened with girls. I've been together with my current boyfriend for almost two years, everything was good although our sex life is not great, but okay. I love him, emotionally, not physically, until about 2 months ago I watched a lesbian movie by accident. After that I felt so totally changed, all of the girls stuff just came back. I started to have dreams with girls and I stopped having sex with my bf. He thought there was something wrong with my body but I knew his body is not attractive to me at all. I still give him hand jobs but I feel nothing what so ever. I touch myself when he is not home, and there are all girls in my mind when I do that. And I feel terrible after that. I don't know what to do, I love my bf, he is a great guy and he treats me really well. Hurting him would be the last thing I do, but I don't know how long can I hold our situation, and how would we be in the future. He knows that I am bi, but now me myself don't even know what my sexuality is. It is so confusing and it bothers me as well. Can anyone help me please? Feel free to ask anything =)
Uh..... that's pretty hard... but at least he knows you like girls, so it won't be as much as a surprise, that's good. Well, my advice... if you really love him, you will have to let him go and let him find his own true love, and if he does love you back, he will also let you go and he will still be your close friend. But don't rush into it, and don't force it. Be friendly and talk about it. Furthermore, you two have been together for two years now, and he will take it harsh...
I agree with the above poster, although leaving him seems like hurting him its the kindest thing to do, and the longer you leave it the harder it gets. In the long term perhaps you can return to being friends. You just have to sit him down and explain it as you did to us, if you have been off sex and stuff then he probably already thinks there is something wrong and he is perhaps blaming himself, so it may answer some of the questions he may have.
