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Reading to deeply into it?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by fireworks, Jun 23, 2012.

  1. fireworks

    fireworks Guest

    I was literally just on Facebook when this girl I vaguely know randomly popped up. She's,my age, but goes to a different school, and we've talked maybe once or twice before.
    I wasn't surprised that her message was asking me whether the rumours about me being gay were true. But when I confirmed therumour, she asked me whether I was seeing anyone at all, if I fancied anyone, etc. fair enough really. So I told her that im still sorting through everything in my head, still coming to terms with it, so no.

    Then it got weird. She kept telling me how pretty I was, and how anyone would be lucky to be with me. This girl, who's only seen me in the flesh maybe twice, just comes right out of the blue and starts...complimenting me. And she kept telling me that I was hilarious and that she was cracking up with laughter when I wasnt really telling any jokes. And it's not like she's one of those girls who like to be all gooey and flatter you and say that kind of stuff when theyre straight as a nail, she's definitely not that type.

    She then told me that I was awesome and that we should meet up sometime.
    I said sure, gtg, and logged straight onto EC :slight_smile:

    What does this sound like to you? I mean, she definitely gives off lesbian vibes, I guess. It would never have surprised me if she came out...

    It sounds to me like one of three things:

    1. She's gay/bi/questioning and interested in me
    2. She's gay/bi/questioning and simply looking for someone to talk to
    3. I'm reading too deeply into this whole thing

    Thoughts?
    If you don't think it's three, then what shoukd I do?

    ---------- Post added 23rd Jun 2012 at 10:31 PM ----------

    *too, God I hate grammatical errors!
     
    #1 fireworks, Jun 23, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 23, 2012
  2. LetterA

    Regular Member

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    I think it's either 1 or 2. Interpreted at face value without actually seeing the conversation, I'm not sure, though.

    Before I came to terms with my situation with sexuality and gender, I would always idolize people I knew who were gay, lesbian and the like. Usually for very short periods of time, and I was always restrained about it, but I definitely had the thought, and I'm a very restrained person in general. That said, for a while I consciously realized neither that I was doing that, nor the significance in my own head with regard to my own situation.

    So basically, actually, I don't know! She could be like I was and not know her own sexuality (or I could be totally off-base), so option 3 would be true, or she could know and be lonely, which could manifest itself in either 1 or 2.

    If I had to guess, I'd say 1 or 2. And if you want, you can always ask if she can relate. That exact phrasing has always been good to me when trying to figure out other people, cause they don't feel pressured but can explain as much as they want.
     
  3. Philvanuirle

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    when a someone laughs at you even when you're not joking, then it seems to me that they have an interest in you.... just saying..
     
  4. fireworks

    fireworks Guest

    Thank you both...that's really helpful. Any suggestions on...well, erm, basically WHAT DO I DO? Haha x
     
  5. bob94

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    I really do think she sounds interested. Most straight people wouldn't ask to hang out right after they found out that you're gay (they usually seem to want to make it clear that they're straight). She said that she wanted to hang out sometime, so if you want to, THEN DO IT! Send her a message on FB sometime just asking if she wants to. Even if it turns out she isn't gay, then you'll have a new, open-minded friend :slight_smile:
     
  6. fireworks

    fireworks Guest

    I thought maybe, I would just keep talking to her, and see if she comes out to me or something. I'mnot exactly looking for a relationship, but i'm sure it would be good support for both of us, and who knows how it would progress? But that's assuming she is lgbt. I wonder if there is a subtle way of finding out? Although I know from my own experience that it is best not to coax someone into coming ouy. I also know that I would have liked opportunities to have been created for me in which to do so... Just me rambling. More advice is love :slight_smile:
     
  7. Sayu

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    1 or 2, I'd say 1 :icon_wink
     
  8. silverhalo

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    I think she likes you, but at the very least I would say she is questioning. I think just chat to her, get to know her better, maybe take her up on the offer of meeting up, if she wants to come out to you she will.
    If you want to give her an opportunity you could always bring up a conversation and say something like, now that you are out you hope you can help other people that are questioning or something like that.
     
  9. Deaf Not Blind

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    Well, you can ignore my advice if you want but STAY AWAY.
    Here is what you can do, look at MY EC past!
    A girl who is real life past friends with a girl i went to college with saw my profile pix and thought i look like a lesbian in my eyes not straight. she friend requested me, which i was ok with as she is a buddy of a buddy, and she didn't message me...until a few weeks later, and asked if i was a lesbian. :eek: I said no, but asked why, and then i came out to her 1st. She then was always texting, controlling, bossing me, telling me to send dirty sexy words how i would fuc her and she could cum. she did not respect me as a transman, she kept saying things like i could become a lesbian and to wear plaid, etc. she was fast to come onto me, and really overly emotional, more than usual for girls. she had a lot of lovers. she got scared one day when i wrote my wall fb i was deleting peeps not text in a while and deleted our friendship, only after leave me a mean message how wtf i was bleeping doing writing that like a child every few minutes my wall.
    don't get involved with somebody you don't know on fb that hits on you like that fast, it is all about their sexual gratification. you are just a pinup doll. :frowning2:
     
  10. fireworks

    fireworks Guest

    DeafNotBlind, I completely appreciate your advice, but we are both thirteen and the likelihood of that happening is not very great. And she isn't a complete.stranger, i've met her a few times and she's a mutual friend through a lot of people. That said, I will definitely take take your reply into consideration. Xx
     
  11. fireworks

    fireworks Guest

    OK: major update.
    We were talking about school, and I slipped in the fact that mine was really accepting.
    She told me that she wished hers was like that.
    So I asked her if anyone she knew was trying to come out...subtle, ikr :slight_smile:
    She said that her friend was having trouble, but she couldnt say who.
    Now, my initial reaction here was that this friend was a cover up story for herself, but I then wrote a heartfelt reply on why this person should come and talk to me, and she still pursued the story, even though it was a perfect opportunity to come out.
    She said that it sounded like a good idea, and that she would pass on the message.

    I think that she is talking about a real person, and all the compliments were just her way to keep talking to me and keep up the conversation, may e she thought i'd lose interest.
    Of course, she COULD be referring to herself, and just be thinking over the prospect of telling me.


    Either way,... I feel really special. I'm like the queen of teenage closeted
     
  12. bob94

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    Haha, you go girl! Even if she isn't lying about having a gay friend, just be glad that you may get the opportunity to help somebody else that's in a similar situation as you.