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problems at work

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by dano22, Jun 24, 2012.

  1. dano22

    dano22 Guest

    Ok this has nothing do with being gay but the advice on here is very thoughtful so I wanted to give it a shot. Ok I am having some problems with this one person at work. She constantly calls me out and points out things I am doing wrong. She jumps to conclusions and sometimes assumes I am being rude without knowing my intentions. The thing is I used to get along well with this person but know I can't even be in the same room with this person without fearing I will get yelled at for pretty much anything. I finally reported this issue to management and I would've confronted her myself its just she is not the type of person worth confronting. Any advice on how to handle this situation. Also I noticed that the way she treats me is not like the way she treats other coworkers. If I do something wrong or she thinks I am doing something wrong she immediately yells at me and I never seen her treat other coworkers like that.
     
  2. Toneth

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    have you asked her why she does that to you? and what did your manager say? sounds like she has some kind of grudge.
     
  3. Chip

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    I'm with Toneth. If things have changed, something likely caused things to change. Is it possible she has/had a crush on you? Is it possible that you've started going out with/palling around with someone and she feels jealous? Most of the time when someone suddenly starts acting differently, with no obvious way in which you've slighted them, it's some sort of jealousy/competetiveness coming out in some way.
     
  4. dano22

    dano22 Guest

    Ok I should of went into more detail my bad. This lady is probably around fifty years old and has been working for the company for years compared to the ten months I have been there. I don't any kind of a personal relationship with my coworkers so I don't think that is the case. I don't even think there is a reason for why she is acting hostile towards me.
     
  5. Chip

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    Have you been particularly efficient, good at your job, gotten noticed by supervisors or managers? She may feel threatened, particularly if her own work is mediocre.

    Alternatively, there's usually at least one person at almost every employer who is the company troublemaker/gossip, who goes around attempting to stir up trouble about one or another particular employee, so it's possible you've found her and she is focusing your attention on you for some reason.

    One strategy that often works is to kill the person with kindness. Go up to her, complement her on some aspect of the work she does, tell her how it looks great / makes your job easier / how much you've learned from her / how you envy her interaction with customers. People who are behaving the way she is are miserable, and don't feel like they belong, so they try to "fit in" in any way they can, often by making others wrong. So if someone gives them a reason to belong, often their tune changes.
     
  6. thylvin

    thylvin Guest

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    I agree with Chip. Kill people with kindness. How?

    Simple, Step one, buy a sword. Step 2, name the sword "Kindness". Step 3, Kill people with "Kindness" :roflmao:

    In all seriousness, what ever her issues could be with you, would be hard to imagine, especially a person as old as her. It could be that she is a homophobe, but can not show it in any way at work, so she tends to lash out on you to get her "high"

    The only way to deal with people like that... smile. always smile, don't do anything else but smile. Tell her that she has nice dress on (even though you are tempted to puke at the style and colours she wears), ask her how her morning was or how her family is, tell her to have a nice day, hay if you really want to be nasty, make a few cups of coffee and give it to her. Show her that you are a far better person. After all, life is to short to hold grudges, and to chance work, just because of a person like that isn't viable unless the situation becomes very strenuous or even dangerous. No matter where you going to work, there will always be a person that behaves like that. Trust, me I've been in the job market for over a decade and I have yet to find a single work where something like this isn't happening.
     
  7. dano22

    dano22 Guest

    That does sound like a good idea. I work in a nursing home kitchen so I don't think I will be complimenting her outfit but I will try to deal with it in a positive way. The thing is she used to do this to me before but it was not on a daily basis and I would just laugh to myself about it and not worry about it. I am getting the issue resolved because I almost reached my breaking point.