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If you can help me

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Helpmeiaintgay, Jun 25, 2012.

  1. Helpmeiaintgay

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    So now let me tell you off the bat i am not gay. I like girls. But this expierence is scary. And im not sure if this makes me gay.

    so i smoke marijuana and me and my friend got so high. And im not going to extend this story forever im going to flat out tell you. I Got high and i didnt know what i was doing so i kinda has sex with my friend. See but i only did this because my mind changed my thinking cause i thought he was a girl. HELP ME. I Need to know if this makes me gay. I still like girls matter of fact i like this girl named mikayla and she turns me on. And when i did that stupid mistake it felt super weird and bad deep down insider? Help me am i gay?
     
  2. King

    King Guest

    1) Stop stressing.
    2) Breathe.
    3) Are you attracted to other boys? If not, then congrats! you're straight.
    Really, don't worry about it. If you're attracted to girls then say you're straight. "Gay" and "straight" are just labels anyway.

    King x
     
  3. Helpmeiaintgay

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    Seriously, thank you so much. I Was worried sick and i felt like i was going to puke when that happened. And no im not attracted to boys. It was just a really bad mistake. And i didnt even know what i was doing. When i smoked the marijuana i had no control over my body so i had no clue what was going on.
     
  4. King

    King Guest

    Mistakes happen. Honestly though, if you aren't attracted to boys then you have nothing to worry about (NOT that you should be worried about being gay... There's nothing wrong with that:slight_smile:).
    Good luck with whatever happens with you!

    King x
     
  5. Fugs

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    You're so gay that you are flaming. If you looked in the mirror the devil would literally be sticking his pitch fork up your ass.

    Honestly you aren't gay unless you like guys, being gay isn't a bad thing, and having drugged up sex with your friend isn't the end of the world. You could be gay, you might not be. It's not really a big deal, just be with who you're comfortable and stop stressing out on whether or not it's something 'wrong'. Even if you liked guys you say you like girls too so you could be Bi. Loving humans is awesome, keep doing that. Until then try to stay off the weed if you're so afraid of being gay.
     
  6. silverhalo

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    Having sex with a guy doesnt make you gay, just like having sex with a girl doesnt make a gay guy straight. If you are not attacted to guys and you are attracted to girls then you are straight, but dont panic, being gay wouldnt be the end of the world even if you were.
     
  7. Maxis

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    I agree wholeheartedly. Being gay isn't a bad thing, and if you're ever confused and worried that you might be gay, stop yourself for a second and just do what's natural, what you want to do. We stress so much over labels but in the end, labels are just... well, labels.
     
  8. im not changing

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    you were high.. it doesnt count.
     
  9. Philvanuirle

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    The only reason that the sex will make you gay is if You enjoyed it. Otherwise, you're still straight :slight_smile: ; however, if you were somewhat turned on by it and still turned on by a girl then you are a bisexual.
     
  10. Ruby Dragon

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    No need to repeat what's already been said but I can add this:

    I'm a recreational and irrelugar (marijuana) smoker and over the weekend I did something very similar. I was buzzing nicely and then blurted out to my crush via instant messaging that I am really into her. Obviously she didn't share the same sentiments, as she is perfectly straight. But I wouldn't have had the guts to do it sober so the weed really just took the edge off.

    I feel that you had to want this experience at least somewhat and the weed just took the edge off enough so you can go through with it. The fact that you thought your friend was a woman could be that in the back of your mind you got the message that something new is happening and your mind was probably trying to get you into the state that feels more natural to you. The familiar. Hope I explained that right and that it makes sense.

    But even after all that's happened, and whether that's the case or not, you're only gay if you are attracted to men and not women and if you long for that closeness again.

    To second something else that's been said, having sex with someone of the same gender doesn't make you gay. So relax. Just allow yourself to go through whatever it is you're going through and don't overthink this. You'll be allright, no matter what the outcome
     
  11. Aldrick

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    This happens more frequently than you could ever know. You're not the first straight guy to run into a situation like this.

    The good news is that you don't have to worry. You can have sex with a hundred men, and it isn't going to make you gay. Likewise, a gay man can have sex with a hundred women, and it isn't going to make him straight. It's also perfectly normal for a straight guy to be sexually curious about what it is like to have sex with another guy, just as it is perfectly normal for a gay guy to be curious about women.

    Sexual Orientation has nothing to do with the act of sex itself. You can even remain a virgin your entire life and be straight, bi, or gay. That's because sexual orientation is determined by romantic attraction not the physical act of sex. The same feeling you get in the pit of your stomach, those same "fuzzy feelings" you get around girls, are the same feelings a gay guy has when he has a crush on another guy. That's the difference between a gay guy and a straight guy.

    So, unless you're having romantic feelings for guys then no, you aren't gay. If you have romantic feelings for both guys and girls, then you're bisexual. If you have romantic feelings only for girls, then you're straight.

    In the end, it doesn't matter much.

    The bad news is that... you've had sex with your friend. There is going to be some awkwardness there, and you're going to have to deal with that issue.
     
  12. justinf

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    No offense, but this sounds a bit superficial. Straight guys can enjoy sexual experiences with guys, and not be gay. Yeah, if a guy really enjoys sex with another guy, especially when sober, then I guess I'd strongly doubt whether he was completely straight... but it still doesn't necessarily make him gay.

    Why the "somewhat" here? ;p Just curious... because it seems to imply bisexuals only get somewhat turned on by guys, therefore if you're really turned on by a guy you can't be bisexual...
    And, basically the same point I made before: being (somewhat) turned on doesn't necessarily say anything about your orientation.

    Hope I don't come off too strongly, I just really disagreed with this post.