What do i do?

Hello danieliam.

What do you mean that your boyfriend will "just spill the beans"? Spill the beans about what? Your relationship?

I think an important question to ask here is how old you are and how old your boyfriend is - that may play a factor in your mother's decision.

Finally, since you need your mother's permission to meet your boyfriend it means you're under eighteen. (Either that, or you have a very controlling mother. ) It's quite appropriate for your mother to be concerned about people you meet on the internet, especially people who might show a romantic interest in you.

Your mother sounds like she is just concerned for your safety and well being. Yes, it sucks being a teenager sometimes. However, that doesn't mean you can't reach a compromise with your mother.

Assuming your boyfriend is age appropriate, have you considered discussing with your mother a potentially chaperoned date? For example, you and your boyfriend meet up at the movies, and your mother sits in the back of the theater.

Alternatively, you could invite him over to your place with your mother there.

Ultimately, since I don't know all the details of your situation, I'm going to side with the judgments of your mother. You should speak to her and propose some alternatives to simply not seeing him at all.

Finally, if your mother has concerns with you being gay or bisexual, and issues surrounding LGBT dating, you might recommend her to visit this forum. There are plenty of adults here that can answer any questions she might have on the subject, as well as any special considerations that might be necessary when it comes to looking after you as a LGBT teenager.

 

i dont mean to patronize you but you are only 17, if you were 18 it would be a diff story cuz you would be an adult. im not saying your man isnt 'real', but you honestly never know.

perhaps talk to your mum about meeting him with a friend for a coffee in town or something for a few times just so you can get a feel for him. people who start out online but meet in person sometimes dont actually work in person, the chemistry just isnt there. that is always a slight possibilty.

whatever you do though dont go behind your mums back and meet ALONE. NO.
whatever you do ALWAYS meet someone you have spoken to online with someone just so youre not alone and in any possible danger.

 

Well if you are ok with telling your mom exactly why you are so keen in meeting this person then go for it. Though it may just make her even more cautious considering its not a friend but a love interest.
Do you have any way of proving its not some older person? Exchange facial profiles? Friends on Facebook? I think if you can prove to her that he isn't some creep she will be more inclined.

 

Well since you're both seventeen, I'm less concerned than I was. You also seem to be aware of the risks, considering that you said you wouldn't meet him alone.

I can understand your frustration, but your mother is just concerned. She loves you, obviously, and doesn't want you to get hurt. She's trying to protect you. Believing that everyone on the internet is a predator seems to be a common fear among mothers. My own mother still believes, even all these years later, that everyone I've ever spoken to on the internet is a potential serial killer.

If she won't budge on the issue, then she isn't going to budge.

Have you skyped with him or anything of that nature?

If you've done some sort of video chat with him, then you can at least verify that the pictures he sent you are really him. Also, you can arrange a setup, where you say leave your door open while chatting with him. A nosy mother might poke her head in your room, and ask "Who are you talking too?" That's when you can reveal, "Oh, I'm speaking to <your boyfriend>. We're video chatting. Want to say hello?"

You can then introduce your mother to him that way. He can say hello to your mother... and in future conversations, when you talk about potentially meeting him, her fears might be lessened.

At this moment in time, this guy is a faceless person. Your mother can throw whatever wild fears and accusations she wants at him, because she doesn't know him, and hasn't seen him. However, the moment she sees him and hears his voice he becomes a real person. It becomes harder to make accusations, because he now has a face and a voice.

From there, you can discuss potentially meeting him with her (such as him coming over to visit while she is there), or something along those lines.

 

Good luck. Hope it works out. (*hug*)