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Dad told my aunt he though he was going to have to kill me

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by MathMan, Jun 25, 2012.

  1. MathMan

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    When I was around 17, which is around the time I went into denial bad. My aunt and her two kids knew I wasn't straight, but after some convincing and stuff I convinced them that I was just going through a phase and that phase was over. Anyway, I never talked to my dad about my sexuality and I ended up talking to him on the phone while he was up at my aunts and I was at my grandpa's. We said bye and I noticed he didn't hang up the phone. I think he meant to, but I could hear everything going on in the room. I kept listening because I was curious to see if my name came up, and it did... I heard my aunt saying how I was just going through a phase and not to worry and stuff like that, then I heard my dad say, with relief in his voice: " I'm sure glad to hear that, I though I was going to have to kill him." I didn't hear what they said after that because I became such a horrible mess and hung up the phone. I don't know if I have ever been more hurt and ashamed in my whole life right at that moment. I've never told anyone that, just wanted to get that off my chest and figured this place would be a good one for it.

    ---------- Post added 25th Jun 2012 at 06:37 PM ----------

    Let me just add that at this point in my life, I don't need his support or love. I would like for him to love me for who I am, but If he can't, I'm still going to live my life without him
     
  2. Gen

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    I think your added post said it all.

    I doubt that he really meant that he would try to kill you. And you seem to able to move one with life even if you cant have his support. So I would just recommend that you do just that. Hopefully, he accepts you, but if not its his loss.

    Guess that wasnt really a ton of advice lol. But I think you have it figured out. Unless I'm missing something o.o.
     
  3. J Snow

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    Hi again, Trunks =)

    Let me start by saying that I apologize you had to deal with family that is not accepting. I assure you I have had to/still am dealing with it as well. While what your dad said is HORRIBLE, I find it highly likely he was being literal in any sense.

    I can only begin to fathom how hurtful hearing that must have hurt though. I'm sorry you had to endure that, so I'm sending you a hug (*hug*)
     
  4. MathMan

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    thanks J Snow. I'm having a crappy night, that helped :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 25th Jun 2012 at 10:25 PM ----------

    and Gen, thanks for posting. I guess I wasn't looking for advice much. just needed to get that off my chest. that happened like 5 years ago, so i'm ok about it. back then, not so much, and even some years after, not so much. but now, i'm still hurt, but ok
     
  5. BradThePug

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    I'm sorry to hear that your dad would say something like that. It's a good thing to get off of your chest. Carrying around something like that can really hurt you after a long time. I'm sorry that you have to go through this.
     
  6. Aldrick

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    I don't know what to say, MathMan. (*hug*)

    While my dad has never said that he was going to kill me, he's certainly made anti-gay remarks around me in the past. I've even heard him use the word "fagot" and the phrase "fagot shit" before. I also remember when I learned he had voted against gay marriage equality.

    All of that stuff hurt. It still hurts, even years later. It's like a knife in my heart. It's one of the main reasons I haven't come out to him yet. I don't think he'll reject me, but I know he won't be happy or very supportive either.

    Hang in there. (*hug*)
     
  7. MathMan

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    thanks Aldrick, I don't believe he actually would under any circumstances, but I know how he feels about homosexuals now. :frowning2: