So I've been dating this guy for a little over a month, and at first everything was fine. But lately, he's been getting really jealous. 1) When I was at a party last week, I was talking to my guy friend in a locked room (no reason it was locked, we didn't even know it was) and when my boyfriend found out he punched the guy, because he thought we weren't just talking or something... 2) Then, he knows I have this really close guy friend (who's pretty much like a brother to me) who's three years older and lives out of state. Whenever I get a text, he's like, "Is that ....?" and he always want to know what we're talking about. He doesn't seem to like that I even talk to this guy. 3) Today I went to town with some people. He knew, and he texted me asking if I was still there. I told him no, I was at the preserve, and he wanted to know which one (there's two near us). Then he asks who with, so I answer people (just because I didn't feel like I needed to tell him who), and he asks "specific? please don't tell me your with guys." I answered guys and girls, and he apologized multiple times for being so jealous and nervous, and said he'll trust me and that he's sorry for always thinking something's gonna happen when I'm with guys. 4) He texts me multiple times until I answer, and always asks where I was if I didn't. 5) I was texting my friend (girl) one day, and he sees me going through the messages, and sees a really long one that I sent. I didn't let him see it, because he promised he'd never look at my texts and I wouldn't do the same, but then he got paranoid thinking it was about him. I think I'm going to breakup with him... but I don't know if I'm overreacting. There's more reasons than just jealousy though...
He sounds like he has some issues to sort through. Although, if you do decide to break up with him. I would really watch yourself and be careful. I might just be biased, because, that annoys the hell out of me if someone is constantly needing to check up on me, and won't let me have my alone time. I don't think what you've described is normal though. Do you know if he's been cheated on, or anything in the past that would warrant him needing the constant self-assurance? I don't think you're overreacting though. I think you have every right to be annoyed, and frustrated with him. Like I said though, just be careful if you do decide to break up with him. He sounds like he might flip out if you were to do so. Then he'd probably think it's because of a guy you were talking to, it could potentially go bad. I mean, he punched a guy for no justifiable reason.... Just a warning.
I don't think he's been cheated on... he's only had one other girlfriend, whom broke up with him, I think just because they both didn't think the relationship wasn't working... That's kind of what I'm scared of though. I don't want anyone else to get hurt if he gets angry and paranoid that there's someone else.... I don't think he will, but I don't know for sure... I understand his reasoning for punching the guy, even though I still don't think it was right, because he should trust me to be able to talk to guys...
As before, if something had happened to him before or altered his perceptions of things, there might be a way to work through it - such as he's been cheated on and was hurt, or something along those lines happened to his parents, etc. Regardless, however, when this is the beginning of the description of a relationship: ...I'd say it's a red flag. Talk to him first if you want, but this needs to be considered seriously in a re-evaluation of the relationship, and he needs to know it's not ok. The thing at the party...okay, maybe. But only maybe, and there's certainly no reason to punch anybody. And even without that, everything else still points to a red flag.
