This is probably just a dumb thing th have a problem with but I feel like I'm always going to be alone, not like I won't find anyone but more like I'll never find the right one thats what I'm looking for. I'm basically straight but still gay and I want a guy that's like me but I just dont think this drwam guy exists, I feel like I'm always going to be alone or I'm going to have to settle for someone I don't really like. Idk, I want to know if I'll ever find someone, i feel really down, I'm back to feeling alone and like I always will be I want there to be someone like me out there for me but i fear there isn't. Idk this is probably just a dumb rant about stupid stuff that doesnt matter... :eusa_doh:
It's not dumb, and you're not alone. Many people feel this way - there are other threads about this on EC right now. A couple things I'm wondering from your post: 1) What do you mean when you say you're "basically straight but still gay"? 2) How long have you felt like this? Or did something recently happen that is helping to make you feel particularly lonely?
First of all, it does matter! Your worries, thoughts and concerns do matter. Second of all, I agree with Gravity. What do you mean by that? "Straight but still gay." Third of all, I used to feel that way too. But you have to realize that the world is HUGE. There are COUNTLESS people out there that you're going to connect with and develop relationships with. There are COUNTLESS opportunities out there that you're going to take. There are a COUNTLESS number of people out there who feel exactly the same way you do. Odds are, you're going to run into someone who you'll really start to like, and odds are, that person may like you that way as well. You've got your whole life ahead of you.
i know some really great straight women who say that too. how is it the nice guys and gals always feels so lonely?
To answer the first question, people don't believe me when I tell them I'm gay, because of how I am they don't think in gay cuz I act like a straight guy. To answer the second question, I've felt like this for a long time but recently I met a gay guy and he's feminine and every other gay guy I know is feminine and I'm not attracted to feminine guys, I feel like that is all I will ever find.
I'm pretty sure by 'straight but gay' he means he doesn't act like a stereotypical gay. At least, that's what I take from it. Just to say, that stereotype isn't a very accurate one. Most of us aren't insanely flamboyant to the point where rainbows spawn from our feet.
the one guy i ever loved, he is gay, and he covers it pretty good, only slipped out a few times, and i would not say he is at all fem. he is just a nice human being.
I just feel like I won't ever find anyone because no one would ever expect me of being gay and I don't kno how to find anyone...
oh i see, because you appear straight they will not know you are available and so end up alone? but you are only 17, and don't need a wife and 6 kids yet. you get my meaning? you don't need gay bars, or wear rainbow tshirts, or tattoo saying fuck me I'm gay. you just be YOU, and be patient like all the others like you...and one day God will bring you the dream guy. i figure if i met my perfect match when i was your age, i was not even out and would not been ready. well, maybe you are supposed to find out more about yourself, your skills develop, and get a degree at college...and when you are ready more that person wil suddenly be ready too.
Well, there are ways of putting yourself out there that don't involve acting in ways that you feel aren't genuine for yourself. (Does that make sense?) You will find someone. Actually there have been several threads recently about this same thing, so you're definitely not alone - you're not even the only ECer who feels that way. That makes sense. It's easy to feel left out in that kind of situation. Are they making you feel like you "don't belong" somehow? Or are they just not the kind of people that you're attracted to? Are you friends with any of them? Assuming that they're nice people, you don't need to be exactly like them to fit in with them. It probably wouldn't hurt to have the friends, and who knows - maybe they'll help some other guy who's your type realize that you're gay.
If there is one thing this site has taught me so far it's that there are ton's of gay guys that act just like a straight guy, we just aren't as visible as the more flamboyant guys. So don't worry there's someone out there for you! I'm a fairly masculine guy, I live in a small not gay friendly southern town and I've managed to find manly guys to date even here over the years. =P
