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my friend/crush is about to move to anothr school? depressed ='[

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by kiu2112, Jun 29, 2012.

  1. kiu2112

    Regular Member

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    hello fellow Emptycloset members, this post is gonna be loong one but if u continue on reading it's much appreciated. there's this friend of mine whom I know for about 4 months. he's straight cause he has a gf. I am bi. (nobody knows this) we're in the same class (psychology). he's a quite type of person n I was the one who befriended him. I wanted to know him better so I ask questions about him n his interests but he just doesn't seem interested, because he rarely asked me back. hes always absent. one day I asked him through chat why he's always absent. cos that one particular week he was absent for three consecutive days. he told me that he doesn't like school n he felt lonely n that he wanted to move. (how could I know this?? because he has his group of friends whom he always sit with during lunch so I assume he's not that lonely) so knowing that he has his group of friends, I don't always approach him whenever I see him. I'm a quite type as well n most of the time I wait for people to ask me to hang with them not the other way round. He also told me that he doesn't 'click' with his group n they don't have the same interests as him (when I asked him what his interests were he answered "sleep" "sleep", "I dont know". seems like he had a hard time opening up to me)n that he sits with his group but don't talk. he misses his close friends from his previous school so he wants to move bcause he felt that would make him happy n more motivated in his studies. I also told him that I'm going through the same dilemma as him, I hardly have close friends, just friends in my classes not outside n I always feel lonely. so I'm kinda sad that he's moving cause I want to get to know him better n I feel that we could be good friends . so few days after we had that talk he's still being quiet n doesn't talk to me after what I told him about me being lonely too (I'm always the one who strikes a conversation n I am kinda tired of doing the asking n talking bcause isn't friendship a two way street?) I feel like I'm not what he's looking for in a friend. I think I have a crush on him. so do u think hes interested in being friends with me n should I stay friends with him or not? should I forget abt him? n what should I do before he moves? should I just be quiet n not say anything? I always cry when I think abt this n sometimes I feel suicidal. please help me..thanks in advance =]
     
  2. Rose

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    Feelings that do not seem to be returned are so hard for anyone to bear, but even harder if you cannot talk about them openly to others. Thank you for posting, you are not alone in your situation.

    It seems like you have been quite pro-active in developing this friendship. If you do not sense that this is being returned in the way you wish/need, then consider moving on.

    That you will not want to do if you have strong feelings for this friend but you say he is straight and has a gf so I guess he is not a possible match for you, just a friend.

    The strongest message I wish to communicate is that your feelings will change over time, and distance will really help you to move on.

    I hope you can get some comfort from this. If you can, focus on positive action- invest in people who return friendship to you.

    Take care and keep posting!

    ---------- Post added 29th Jun 2012 at 12:10 AM ----------

    Just saw this on dealing with crushes, might be relevant to you...

    Dealing With Crushes - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out