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i really need some advice

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Zwanmania, Jan 16, 2008.

  1. Zwanmania

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    hey, this is my first post...i will try to make this as un-timeconsuming as possible... i need some good advice tho.

    im a guy, 16, gay and in the closet to just about everyone (save like 3 girls).

    i have this friend who i have a massive crush on. hes my best friend, we've been in an active band together for 3 years. i realized i liked him as more than a friend over the summer but have kept my feelings bottled up because i presumed he was straight...

    now im not so sure that he is straight. sometimes it seems like he gives me like subtle hints or something. i wanna come out to him i think, but i dont really knowhow. i dont want to lose him as a friend and i dont want to lose him as a bandmate, so theres alot (for me) at risk here. whats the best way for me to bring this up in conversation?
     
  2. biisme

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    well, first off, welcome to EC!

    second, have you tried bringing up homosexuality to see what his opinion is? if it's good, then maybe you can come out and see if he says anything about himself.
     
  3. Zwanmania

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    i dont THINK it would be a big deal to him but ive heard horror stories where people lose friends forever. to answer your question, i think he would be relatively gay friendly...after all, i kinda think he mightbe gay himself...or at least willing to "fool around" (!)
     
  4. Alexander

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    Welcome to our little site!

    This guy you're talking about could be gay or straight. If he's straight, he might just be very comfortable with his sexuality. I would definitely recommend subtly bringing up something related to gay news, like "did you hear that <insert famous person's name> might be gay? I don't believe it!'. Just something to grab his attention. As for coming out, it's always the hardest to come out to guys you care about. Just take your time.
     
  5. biisme

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    well, like i siad above, start a conversation with him about homosexuality and see how he responds before you come out, if you're worried. are you in the US? if so, maybe you can bring it up if you start to talk about the presidential election...
     
  6. Gustav

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    agreed. you don't have to tell him you like him, just come out and see how he reacts. his reaction may tell you where he stands.
     
  7. Zwanmania

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    yeah im in philly. i like the idea of the whole bringing up gay-related topics thing but like...i kinda wanted something more personal. to be honest i dont really know what im asking...i guess its something i have to figure outon my own. i was kinda looking for anecdotal advice or like...idk a pointer on how to bring it up haha. i dont really know. i might just try kissing him and then if he freaks out be like "oh sorry you had something on your lip."
     
  8. Zwanmania

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    yeah gustav...overall thats what im leaning towards. just telling him and then reacting to his reaction.
     
  9. Zwanmania

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    so...I guess im going to rephrase my question as...How can i figure out if a guy is gay? i know there arent like rules to this but suggestions anyone?
     
  10. biisme

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    umm...you can't really "figure" it out...besides asking them, or having them tell you.
     
  11. Zwanmania

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    yeah thats true. now im pretty much just posting so i can get into the chat room
     
  12. KatoKumi

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    Lol there's a chatroom?!
     
  13. Alexander

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    not one that people use.
     
  14. biisme

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    people use it sometimes...someone has to be in their alone for at least a little while...so then someone else sees that someone is there...
     
  15. Zwanmania

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    oh haha i thought it was like this revolutionary 10380293 daily user thing. nevermind. i got referred to EC from a porn site to be honest with you so im still learning the ropes. this is much more fulfilling than porn tho which im liking alot!(!) (!) (!) (!) (!) (!)

    and the banana option is dominant
     
  16. biisme

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    haha...i think quite a few people came from porn sites actually...
     
  17. HeyItzme

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    Yup! *** redirects you to this forum :] Thats how I found it Lol
     
  18. Alexander

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    Better not let the staff see that info :astonished: