Any regulars that have been reading my posts will know that since joining this site I've been doing really well and was ready to come out to my parents. I've spent the weekend so far planning on doing just that. The trouble is I just can't bring myself to talk about the subject or even so those three little words. I think the problem I have is accepting myself, many times I've lied to myself that I've accepted being gay but deep down I haven't. I believe to start accepting the fact that I'm gay I need to tell someone and say it out loud. I've thought about other peoples ideas of writing it in a letter or over the phone but then I'd be too frightened to see that person face to face. I'm at a stand still here and it's really disrupting by day to day life now where I'm not sleeping and just not taking part in life anymore. Any suggestions/advice would be helpful, I've thought about going to a gay pride event but can't find anyone to go with and I don't have the guts to go by myself.
i also stopped getting life done it messed up my schooling. my empathy brother. dude, i think going to the parade will be easy and very beneficial...i did it! here is how it happened, i got a good excuse, 2. #1 i had a gay buddy in hospital same town, i said i will just go and buy one item for him and take to hospital cuz he wanted to go and can't, I'm doing a good deed for somebody else. #2, for me, i needed to go visit the transgender booth. i needed help, and i needed it badly. So i went late, but the parade still was going on! there were kids there, families, and a variety of gay people. i posted a couple photos on my wall, if you need to friend me to see them, go for it! you can see in them it was not too bad at all. i saw one float with a very naked chick i saw nipples...in a ripped dress. but really it was tame. there were native indian children, 2 spirited, who were in full native dress...very seriously prideful in a positive non-offencive way. there were churches who marched, all dressed in smiles and rainbows and not weird just joyous. so you had weird and beautiful, serious and funny, and i found i had been afraid of going for fear itself, nobody paid me any attention, i blended in and looked very normal...in my mens clothing. when done with parade the whole group just went to the event site, and i did too with the crowd, easy enough, but still being brave. i waited a long time in line, alone, but i stayed in line, went in, and felt happy. there were bands playing, and many give aways, discount coupons places, food vendors, items to buy related to gayness, and it was peaceful and polite. it was like being at the county fair really in every way. i wish there were rides then it would have been just like the fair. i got really scared an brave and talked finally to a transwoman there, she hugged me, i felt so much better. i am not alone now. i am one of them, and i am happy i went. it is not bad to be Queer, and now i can go step by step day by day to get more ready with acceptance and coming out. it is not needed to come out to family first, try a friend, even an online one you do not know well. i wish i was there i would gladly go with with you to hold your hand...but i had the guts to do it alone, be a man do it! go to Pride alone, and trust me, honestly, Im a Christian, I was really afraid of "being caught" and nah you won't be. But you will move ahead far better if you go.
Going to pride is the first step for those scared! I actually lied to my.mom, but she had a friend who told get -.- : regardless, I had to go with her and her little sister.
