Forum* Little background- I attended a private catholic university, where me and my guy friends ("bros") were the "big men on campus". Everyone knew us and we were the life of the party. I came out to a few of my female friends, and then my bros- and every single one of them were more proud and happy that I was being myself, I thought I was going to lose my friends. I have two "best friends", one did ROTC ("A")and is in the army, the other ("B) lives a few hours from me, and we all stay in touch and get together frequently. My group of guys is a VERY horny group, and When you mix that with drinking a lot, we have all had our fair share of one night hooks ups with women (and men for me, not them). B has dated many girls throughout the years, had sex with many of my female friends, and never would have questioned his sexuality. About a year and a half ago, about 8 months before I came out, I had put an ad on Craigslist-not very classy, I know- was still figuring out my life at the time. The ad said str8 college jock looking for same, said I'd never done anything and was not out. I got a few responses, nothing i would consider pursuing, then I get a response to the ad, and the name is B's first and last name. We start chatting, I lie and send pictures of someone I know from Florida, and he sent a pic, him on the left and two of my other buddies at a party. I try saying that I know him, and he immediately says that he used that name cuz he hated B because he hooked up with his gf after the broke up.* Finally gave up after a while, but I know the picture he sent was never on Facebook or anything, and that he had a cropped version of the photo as his profile picture at the time. Also, the email was his first initial, last name, and hockey number. I kind of forgot that it even happened, I was drunk most of second semester senior year. we all graduate last may, and get jobs and move throughout the country. I have noticed lately that he definitely seems unhappy, and I just want to find out if it was him so I can offer my support and that he can trust me not to tell anyone.he has bounced from Job to Job, and only ever has one night stands, a two week run with a girl would be the longest relationship he has had in years. I am not attracted to him, but I just know how it feels if he is gay, or curious. I also don't want to talk to him and freak him out, or it really was someone using his name and me looking dumb. Any advice? Message or thread works.* Thanks to who reads this, and any help would be greatly appreciated.*
You can only PM staff until you have full member status, and they are the only ones who can PM you, too. It's part of the security here to protect our members (especially the younger ones) from predators. But anyway, you could just tell him what happened, and be like, "I was just thinking that, if it wasn't you, I should probably tell you there's some dude out there using your name and picture. And if it was you, you can always call me to talk about it if you want. I remember what it's like to be in the questioning and struggling phase, and I know it would have been a big help to me to have some support. And anyway, I figure I should let you know it was me, and that I won't tell anybody, so that way you worry about who it was that recognized you. But maybe it really wasn't you--in which case, Dude, there is some guy out there using your name and pics to hook up with dudes on craigslist." Often, the truth works...
Hey man, don't know if you resolved this issue or not but I came across it and figured I'd respond. I think it'd be a good idea to talk to him about it. It won't hurt since you came out already to a few people. Just explain the situation and see if he was the one that responded to your craigslist ad. He could still be straight and just curious about dudes. Never know man but it's nice to know that you are thinking about his feelings. Definately let us know how it went if you read this again.
