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My story

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Silvails52, Jul 1, 2012.

  1. Silvails52

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    Note: This is going to be long. I had a lot to put down, but it felt so good!

    I've had a strange senior year in high school. Stranger than most. That was the year I figured out I'm gay. Up until then, I thought I was straight. I liked a couple girls, but I only had one relationship.

    She was pretty much everything I wanted in a girl. Cute, funny, can be serious, and I could actually talk to her (something I can't do normally). But her three boyfriends before me all turned out gay. I don't feel too bad for her, she just seems attracted to gays. Anyways, it all started last December.

    I was out with the choir for a field trip. I was feeling really upset from the musical cast list and my friend (he's gay) comforted me during lunch. We were hanging out for a little while and my stomach flipped and my heart fluttered. Also, my brain froze. I couldn't think of a word to say. That normally happened with girls I liked, but I wrote that off as just being socially awkward.

    Once I figured out it was a crush, I freaked out. How could I like a guy? I confided in another friend and she suggested that I tell him. After weeks of telling myself I would get over him, I gave up. I finally told him. He wasn't sure how to react. It took him a few days to get back to me, and those few days were torture for me. When he did get back to me, he said he thought I was attracted to our friendship, not who he is. It took me a month and a half after that for the feelings to go away.

    I met another gay online, and I felt something for him. It felt exactly like one of the crushes I got for a girl. I couldn't believe it. I had feelings for a guy! I thought for a minute that it couldn't be anything. Later on, I developed strong feelings for another guy in the choir (he doesn't even know what he likes, but we're sure he's gay). I started to accept the fact that I liked guys.

    I started hanging out with him and dropping hints that I liked him. I finally told him. Unfortunately, he said he was flattered, but he didn't see me in that light. Again, it took two months for that to go away. Along the way, I felt a spark for a guy I met at a freshman day at college. Then, I knew.

    I was gay. Or at least, bi. I knew that these feelings weren't normal for a straight guy. I had talked to a few of my closest friends to help relieve all the stress I was feeling. Every single one of them was accepting and supportive of me. They listened patiently to my rants and offered advice on how to get through it. I don't know what I would have done without them.

    Now, I'm headed to college, looking forward to finding my first boyfriend (even though my family strongly disagrees with that). I thought about telling them a few times, but it never happened. Probably won't until I move out for good. I'm happy with who I am. It was rough, but I wouldn't give that up for anything.

    Thanks for reading!
     
  2. alexi12

    alexi12 Guest

    Glad you learned more about yourself :slight_smile: Thanks for sharing!
     
  3. TheEdend

    TheEdend Guest

    Seems like you are going in the right direction :slight_smile: Thanks for sharing
     
  4. DanA

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    That was a really cute story, thanks for putting that out there :grin:

    I know that flipped stomach feeling :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  5. RueBea85

    RueBea85 Guest

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    I'm Canadian eh?
    Wow that's great! Just keep going, it sounds like you're on the right track to discovering who you are :slight_smile:
     
  6. thylvin

    thylvin Guest

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hay man, yeah it's a difficult journey, but once you've made it on the other side, it feels so revitalizing and wonderfully new, that there isn't a chance in hell that one would give that up. Thanks for sharing, and I really do hope you get a guy that loves you as much as you love him, heavens forbid, you really need that right now.
     
  7. Night Rain

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    If you haven't come out to your family, how do you know they'll disagree? Are they openly homophobic or something?
    Anyway, good luck on your journey! :grin: