So if you never got to read my introduction post, well, I did say that I like to chit chat and I'd be coming to you all for some help....a lot of help..Soo here's part 1 of many...haha So its the pretty much the same question many have asked here. Well, I'm ready (or at least I feel like I am) to tell my parents that I'm gay but I don't know how or when. I also want to tell more of my friends but the mere fact that alot of them are friends with my mother doesn't help. Would rather my parents know from me than a comment someone leaves on FB that she will read, ya kno!?! But here's a little background with them. Well, I am 26 and I still live at home and I'm proud of it because everything is free . Nonetheless, I am the only child so I know my parents love me know matter what, its the accepting part that I fear. My dad is...well my dad. We have an okay relationship. There isn't anything too special, but we don't hate each other. He isn't my main issue with coming out. I'm a mammas boy and my mom is a HUGE Christian. So religious me and my friends all agree in describing her as God's right hand. Church all day, every day if she could (probably could if it wasn't for a mortgage and bills, lol). Now i fear telling my parents (pretty much my mom) for a few reasons. Though I know they will love me, I don't know if they will accept me (again, more so my mom than dad). A scenario that happened one day when the news broke out about Obama supporting gay marriage, I was sitting in the living room with my mother and she expressed how she thought it was outrageous and how she was sick to her stomach and how he lost her vote in this upcoming election, ect. ect. ect. and it hurt me really bad. I had to excuse myself and call my friend just to get some type of comfort. She also talks about how it would be really nice if I found her a daughter-in-law and grand children and yadda yadda. And she really wants all these things and I don't think I could stand to see her disappointed or hurt if/when I tell her. I think she may have her suspicions. I haven't brought a girl home or around in god knows when, I hang out with my guy friends ALL the time and I even over heard her talking with an Aunt of mine about all the above and wondering it I was gay and such but I had to run off and couldn't hear the rest. But I don't know. I am planning on moving by the end of the summer, which is a big step for me because not only is it just me moving out, I'm looking to move states away. And I'm thinking maybe this would be the best time? Thing is, the move isn't guaranteed. I was given the okay by my friend to stay with him for a few days if I need to if/when I decided to tell them also. Now I know that I can't tell them face to face and read how people have done it via a letter. I also read some of the letters in the resource area and decided that I was going to do it. God, I'm nervous just thinking about it right now! I know the "when" issue can't be answered because its not something I can do unless I'm fine with it, but more so on how to do it. Im kinda all over the place and I don't know where this post is going, but I'll take whatever advice anyone has to offer! Thanks! TB
I would say in this case to leave her a letter that expresses all of these feeling. Coming out, why you feel you couldnt tell her face to face, etc. I reccommend a letter because it appears that it would come as a real shock to her if you came out. After, some parents hear this they tend to lock up and get emotional, sadness or anger. Writing a letter would show her the WHOLE story, because in conversations where people get upset they tend to block out everything else. So I would say leave her the letter in a place where you know she will find it quickly and go out for a drive or something for a bit. Allowing her to not only read the letter but stop and think about it. Bring up the comments she made in the letter and tell her how that made you feel, and how you didnt want to dissappoint her with the wife and kids, etc.
I agree that a letter sounds perfect. Perhaps you could leave it on the side perhaps even text your parents to say its there and then go to your friends house for a night or two.
