I really, desperately want to come out but I'm so scared of what people will think of me. Especially my close friends. My friends are really touchy feely and we joke about doing stuff together and I really don't want that to change when I come out, but I'm sure it will. There's also my huge extended family where most of them are kind of homophobic. Like they don't say anything to someone's face but I've heard them talking about gay marriage and how it's 'wrong'. I just want to come out and have nothing change. It's really frustrating. What can I do? I'll take any advice..
Hi there! Sometimes it helps to take it one step at a time, one friend at a time. When you begin to think about coming out to your friends, and extended family, try to think about one person to whom you could come out to, and know that he/she would be accepting and supportive. As you have mentioned, you fear and don't want things to change between you and your friends. That is something you can tell your friend(s) when you do come out to them. As for your extended family, and although it might be hard to see know, but at times, family members do come around and change their views on marriage equality, and on having a sexual orientation other than straight. It might take time but time in itself allows for preconceived thoughts and notions to change and adapt. Take it one day at a time, and one friend at a time. Build your support network which will help you in coming out to your extended family. (*hug*)
Yeah, I''ve thought about saying "I don't want any of you to act different around me", or something along those lines. I know some of my extended family will accept it immediately but yes, as you said for a lot of them it will take some time. Luckily they don't ask about me having a boyfriend too often. Thank you so much (*hug*)
I had similar reservations about coming out to some of my friends, but I was surprised by how amazingly they took it! My best friend, who is the manliest type of guy, told me that I was still his brother and nothing would change....My sole advice is to not come out to everyone at once.. it can be overwhelming.. I told three people in one day and I almost couldn't handle it.. just take it slowly and tell someone first who you think won't care at all.. for me, that was my mom and then my best friend who is a girl. Do you have any good guy friends you could talk to? or any other gay friends? ---------- Post added 2nd Jul 2012 at 02:30 PM ---------- p.s. Santana Rocks!
The only good guy friend I have is an ex-boyfriend, so there's that to worry about too...And nope, absolutely no gay friends, my city is crappy like that. Thanks so much for the input, I really appreciate it And gah, yes! She's so perfect.
Hey I understand your fears, whilst I dont have particularly touchy feely relationships with my friends, I totally dreaded coming out to them because I thought they would think I fancied then or that I was checking them out, but nothing has changed. I think sometimes you get so scared and caught up in our fears we forget how awesome our friends can be.
That's really great to hear nothing has changed between you and your friends. I think, yes definitely most of my fears are irrational, but they'r still there unfortunately.
