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FTM and oh so very deep in the closet.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by akidyouwish, Jul 2, 2012.

  1. akidyouwish

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    Certain things make me so mad about being born a girl.
    Like the boobs, Whats up with that!?
    Another thing is the fact that my mom flips her shit everytime i start acting like myself. She starts crying and screaming and going on and on about how i need to start acting more girly. Up untill about a year ago i was just fine with this whole act but now its becoming a problem, i finally have come to reason with my obvious-not-a-girl-ness and i just want it out there.
    I dont want guys to like me because im a girl.
    I dont want to have long hair.
    I dont want to wear girl clothes.
    I know that if i come out my mom will be all like arwarwarwar, but i just cant stand it sometimes. Its horrible. What do i do? Do i come out? Do i wait it out like i originally planned? I just need... advice? Yes! GIMME ADVICE.
     
  2. Spatula

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    Keep moving forward.

    What's your financial situation?
    How dependent are you on your parents?
    What are their political views?
     
  3. PerfectCalamity

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    I'm in the same situation in a way, only I'm still in the 'act' since I don't really want anyone to know ._.
     
  4. akidyouwish

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    Spatula: Still in highschool; thus very relient on my parents. My dad would be chill with it, as he has made pretty obvious recently (I think he is catching on) But then madre gets in the way

    PerfectCalamity: I'm still in the act as well, only one 'friend' of mine knows, i only kno her over the internet.... haha.
     
  5. PerfectCalamity

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    Lol, my online friends know too. Well, a few of them.
    At least your father would be okay with it, I'm pretty mine will flip.
     
  6. akidyouwish

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    Well im only assuming, I was talking about getting my hair cut and he was like "YES!! Lets just chop it off!" And he stoped asking me why i dont go swiming, once i told him i dun like the bikinis, or lady swim suites at all...
    (Oh... dear god the bikinis -repetitive head desk- The inventor of bikinis.... -dies in corner- I dun like them at all)
     
  7. PerfectCalamity

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    A headdesk for bikinis isn't enough.
    It's more like: -face pavement-
    My parents won't even let me cut my hair ._.
     
  8. KiddlesP

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    If I were you I would talk with her and see if she can hear you out and a comprimize can be made. Ex. you can keep your hair short, but once a week you have to wear a skirt. It will help keep the peace and slowly adjust her, instead of trying to do everything at once and always pushing. When you are not dependent, do everything that is you, while you are dependent, at least give her some respect while keeping your individuality. This is my opinion at least.
     
  9. akidyouwish

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    PerfectCalamity: Facepavement? I like that, i am now going to use it.
    DragonBoy: Yeah, i was thinking that like, when she lets me cut my hair i'd cut back on the "boyish antics" and be a bit more girly for her for a bit.
     
  10. PerfectCalamity

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    Yep facepavement XD and feel free ^^
     
  11. Deaf Not Blind

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    same here!

    I'm thinking of cutting off my hair in a few days, and coming out at university. i would like an opportunity to try being just me for a change and see how everyone reacts.
     
  12. PerfectCalamity

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    I wish you luck when you do!:slight_smile:
    Be sure to tell us what happened though I'd honestly like to hear about it o-o
     
  13. akidyouwish

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    Yeah. How does your college usually fair with LGBT stuff?
     
  14. PerfectCalamity

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    Building on that, do you know if your college has a LGBT club or group?
    Because if it does you can get support from them as well.
     
  15. Deaf Not Blind

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    one year i found cool teen gals swim tank top and shorts, kinda surf style, good coverage and actually flattens you a bit. then i bought mens swim trunks this week with black and white palm trees. i don't care. i am a guy, I'm not wearing the girl stuff I'm not going in drag! i wannna swim! http://www.target.com/p/merona-men-s-swim-short-ebony-white/-/A-13738655
     
  16. Dont cut back on the antics. Boyish antics are awesome :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  17. Deaf Not Blind

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    ok, i will! :grin:

    ---------- Post added 3rd Jul 2012 at 02:40 AM ----------

    I only went to 2nd to last LGBT club at my former college as it was same time as a class I had. By then it had dwindled to 3 people, boring. But you know it was huge in fall.

    I know there are gay teachers, men anyways, don't know tran. But there are a few trans students. I know of gay and bisexual male students on that campus too. Nobody was beaten, killed, or anything. I think those who think Queer is weird and gross just whisper to themselves, nobody says mean names or hurts nobody. One nazi did pass out white power flyers, but our campus just began a new program to support all minority groups...even Deaf...out of that. So nobody got hurt, but some felt scared by his hate speech in writing, which was very tame. Instead of fear, support and understanding is a more positive way. So only good should come out of that.

    I will let you know in late August how my new campus reacts to all the gayness. I can't wait, I love social experiments...I almost would want to say I was something LGBTI just to see reactions and document it even if straight female!!
     
  18. akidyouwish

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    Hah man your so brave. xD id be freaked out aabout peoples reactions.
     
  19. Martee

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    @ akidyouwish: Go for it...cut your hair. If your dad is willing to allow you that chice of expression then ask him to take you and get some haircut that will reflect who you feel like on the inside. My hair is short like a guys and has been since highschool. I LOVE IT!
    I'm not FtM like you, but I suppose I'm not fully anything really.

    Having a chest is horrible. I used to say I hate my chest, but now (because of advice on EC), I say I have "chest dysphoria." Which is true. Although I identify as female, I feel that I shouldn't have a chest and would LOVE for it to just disappear without surgery and just have a male chest. If I did have top surgery, I'd want it to not have those huge scars. I'm small chested enough that I think they could do it another way than making those long incisions.

    Do you want to be on T and have top surgery? I'm sure you're in the beginning stages of being FtM, but it's something to think about, and if you haven't hit puberty yet, then you could get on T and not have to worry about top surgery.

    If you don't want to wear girl clothes, just start by dressing more androgynously. I know I feel much more comfortable in traditionally "male" clothes. It's not like baggy pants and chains, but just stuff that I feel expresses who I am inside. Generally I do find a lot of my clothes in the men's department, and even if it part of my clothes were from the women's department - to me it doesn't really matter. I just wear what I think looks good on me...no matter what department it is from, you know? Not saying I'll got pick out a girl top that is pink with flowers and ribbons....I just get stuff that was "made for me" - meaning, it's perfectly my style and I feel okay wearing it out with friends/family. I'm a t-shirt, tank, shorts, and jeans kind of person. Nothing flashy. Just me.

    Let us know if you indeed cut your hair. Mine is a #4/5 on the back and fingerlength on the top. Completely wash&go and makes me look just how I feel I should look :wink: Maybe find a couple pictures for your stylist to use as a visual reference for your hair. I hope things go well and you're getting the advice you are wanting. Best of luck to you! :thumbsup:
     
  20. Gipsy

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    Aww, man. I'm in the same situation. You mind if I add you? :slight_smile: