I'm trying to find my way right now. Trying to figure out things that have been plauging me for the better part of my life. Throughout my life, I've always felt..wrong. Always felt like I was born wrong. Growing up, I watched the same cartoons as the boys did, but for different reasons. I always was thinking how I wanted to be She-Ra or Cheetara (I grew up in the 80's) or some other strong action female character. A little later, I would always sneak in my mom's room and try on her clothes and IDK it just felt right to me to be wearing women's clothes. As I grew up, that feeling stayed with me and grew as well. I don't have the most tolerant of family and friends when it comes to deviating from the "norm" when it comes to sexual identity. I'd be lynched or disowned if anyone knew this. Anyhow, back to the story. When I got into high school, I didn't know what my identity was. Was I straight? Was I gay? Was I someone who was a sexual deviant? That was a question that, to this day, I've yet to answer. As of now, I find myself attracted to women but fantasizing about certain men. Also, when I take care of myself to a picture of a woman, its not the beauty of that particular woman that is arousing me, its what shes wearing and seeing myself in those clothes that is what gets me off. So again, what am I? If anyone has an opinion, I welcome it. Please help. I feel like a freak for writing this but Ive kept this in all my life and I need to get it out as well as get some advice. Im rather lost as far as my identity right now.
you sound trans like me. but there are different possibilities like transvesite to someone genderfulid sometimes female feeling and full out transexual. my opinion. ask whatever here, me and everyone will try to help.
First of all, while I am a child of the 90's, I must say that I love your Thundercats reference. As far as sexual orientation goes, it sounds like you fantasize to both men and women, so it sounds like you are most likely bisexual, but that's something only you can say. Plus, gender identity issues can really confuse that all up. That's something I know first hand. One thing that I think I am starting to realize about gender is that its probably a lot more important how you feel about your gender now than how you remember feeling about it as a child. Transgender is an umbrella term. It covers a lot of things including Transsexual, bigender, drag kings, drag queens, cross dressers, etc. Perhaps you fit into one of these, maybe you don't. Only really you can tell. Do you have a strong desire to be female often, or do you feel like its more of just a sexual thing? If so, you would likely be shocked by how many men cross dress for sexual pleasure. Yet, getting sexual pleasure out of it doesn't necessarily mean that there can't be a stronger urge to be female that's producing that. Sorry if I'm just muddling things up more. The truth is questions like this usually can only be truly answered from within. I guess the overwhelming point I'm trying to make is that there are a lot of ways to live life, and it can be a bit confusing, but you certainly don't need to feel ashamed or embarrassed by discussing it. I think its a rather noble thing to try to better understand and express yourself. The family issue can be rough, but sometimes it works out better than you'd expect for people.
Yeah, I do. It seems to be more and more in the front of my mind to be female. Sometimes I wish that I'll wake up female; that my life as a male was just a dream. However, Im still attracted to women more than I am men but I do fantasize about what it would be like to be with a guy. I feel so conflicted about these feelings that its driving me insane.:help:
My suggestion? Take it slowly. There's no reason you have to figure things out right away. Figure out which one (sexuality or gender identity) is more distressing to you at the moment, and start trying to figure out what/who you are label wise. From your last post, I would suggest reading about the Kinsey Scale. Wikipedia, while not the most reliable information site, has a fairly well written explanation of the Kinsey Scale...so it might be helpful for you to read that
Im a 19 year old biological *not telling*, but Im androgynous now, just because I didn't identify as my assigned birth gender, didnt necessarily mean I was the opposite gender, no not at all, Im just me. As for sexual orientation, Im confused as hell, but back to your story. You dont need to box yourself in as trans, deviant, straight, gay or antyhing, just be yourself. I know its frustrating, sometimes I get confused even though im happy with androgyny, but, you'll figure it out eventually, we all wil , and if we dont? SO what, just do what you want, be yurself, be happy, be proud <3 Love and fuzzies!!
Yeah, its frustrating alright. Im ,by nature, not a patient person when it comes to personal issues. I like to solve them quickly. However, it might be a good idea to take my time and not be so quick to pin a label on myself before I'm sure. Thanks everyone who has helped.
again wow i totally get that. you may be inside another gender, and could be a lesbian who is slightly bicurios? who knows? but eventually you will wake up and know. im working on it myself. pretty scarey sometimes how these thoughts make you feel huh? yeah i had some good dreams of waking up a man and going about my life as a man.what a nice dream!
Yeah, they are kinda scary. Bad thing is I get kinda depressed when I wake up as a guy. A lot of times the dreams are a hell of a lot better than reality.
Well, I'm not in your situation and even if I was, I wouldn't know how to respond. You are incredibly brave, that's for sure. My advice is to be honest, patient and kind to yourself. Those three things are so tough to be, but you deserve it. Also, surrounding yourself with supporters. Everyone here is on your side, including me. I'm here no matter what, and that's a promise! You'll figure this all out, and you'll figure out how to discuss it with your family. It wont be easy, but it'll be worth it because you're too wonderful and you deserve the best out of life.
