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peer pressure...?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by hiddenxrainbows, Jul 4, 2012.

  1. hiddenxrainbows

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    Soo I live with a roommate from work. Since she moved in with me about two weeks ago, we've been hanging out with some other people a lot. Some of them are from work, and I know all of them. They're all cool, I have no problem with them. But whenever we hang out, they drink. Everytime. I wouldn't care, but. I don't drink. They're still fun to hang around tho when they're drinking, cuz they're amusing. But its starting to get annoying now cuz they keep asking when I'm gonna drink. And I keep trying to tell them that I'm not going to. Cuz I don't wanna drink. I don't have a problem with people who do it, but I don't want to. I just promised myself that I wouldn't do somethings, and drinking is one thing.

    So its just really starting to get annoying and old that they keep asking me questions about it. It bothers me. But I don't want them to think that I'm just a pussy or partypooper or something. But I'm not giving in. So what do I say to say or do to get them to stop pestering me about it?
     
  2. Mercuree

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    I would try explaining the reasoning for your not drinking. And make them know that you are not being haughty about it as their drinking does not bother you. Otherwise, get a new group of friends. I know this sounds harsh. But recently I evaluated my life and realised that alot of the bad decisions I had made (while totally my responsibility) were indirectly a result of the people I was hanging out with. I slowly edged out of those 'circles' and am now a better person for it.
     
  3. hiddenxrainbows

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    Yeah I know what you mean. I don't think they really mean anything of it most of the time, they're proolly just messing with me. But like I said, it still bothers me. I guess I should talk to them about it...I'm just not good with people, and I usually feel like the outsider. I don't want them to think negatively of me in any way by me not drinking. I don't want them to think I think I'm better than them or something. Cuz that's not the case. I'm just trying to stay a good person and better myself. Ill try talking to them about it next time, and hopefully everything will chill out....
     
  4. Mercuree

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    Good luck! Youre on the right track! May I ask why you do not want to drink at all?
     
  5. silverhalo

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    It can be difficult, I don't drink and people always ask me. You have my sympathies.
     
  6. hiddenxrainbows

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    Thanks, guys.

    Umm I don't want to cuz...I don't know. I've always been a goodie two shoes, I've never done anything like that. I did smoke cigarettes once, but only for a month and then I stopped. I didn't see the big deal of it. I don't see the big deal of anything like that. I don't wanna drink cuz I promised myself id stay the goodie I have been. Plus I don't wanna act like an idiot if I drink.
     
  7. mnguy

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    I can see how you would get annoyed by them and they don't need to pressure you since you don't want to, but I'm confused by your thought that enjoying alcoholic beverages would diminish your goodness as a person. I don't know anyone who looks down on others for drinking alcohol. There are so many different types of beverages with a wide range of flavors and that's something I appreciate about them. It's like all the different types and ways to serve coffee, which is another beverage I enjoy. Anyway, I think you can be just as good of a person if you decide to try a drink someday, but your friends don't need to be hassling you about it. :thumbsup:
     
  8. Friendly ghost

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    There's nothing wrong with not drinking, it's unfortunate that society puts such a spin on drinking. Being able to have fun without getting drunk is more admirable anyway. You can have fun just being you. Try asking them why thy can't enjoy themselves sober, lol.
     
  9. hiddenxrainbows

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    I don't mean that people who drink can't be good people. Cuz I know a lot of people who drink that are good people. I guess I just pride myself in the fact that I've never really done anything, I've always been a goodie two shoes. And I wanna keep it that way. Plus I think I might be kind of afraid that if I let myself do that, I might let myself do other things, worse things.

    And yeah I agree. I've always had fun being sober, so I don't get what the big deal is about drinking.
     
  10. mnguy

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    I agree that everyone can have fun w/o drinking and lots of stuff people enjoy doing are done sober. Drinking won't take away your goodie two shoes status unless you think that drinking is a bad thing. It's really just another type of beverage.

    What's up with this goodie two shoes thing anyway? Why do you want to be that? I've always thought of that as having negative conotations. Like someone who deprives themselves of this or that to prove to others how good they are and to look down on others. I'm not saying that's what you mean, it's just my previous understanding of the phrase. Did something happen and you're trying to make up for it by having this perfect persona? It reminds me of myself in some ways actually. For me I think it goes back to some family issues and as a kid trying to be really perfect as if that would help my parents get along. I dunno, it's probably part of why I don't really come out, not wanting to make any waves and result in an argument. Of course that's me, and I'm off topic, sorry. Anyway, I was just curious.
     
  11. BudderMC

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    Depending on where you guys are drinking, you could always offer to be the DD/keyholder for the group. Gets you out of drinking with a valid excuse.

    Someone else told me on here that you could also just grab a can of pop or something. Theoretically, as long as you're holding something, someone won't be as inclined to offer you a drink. Hold out until they're drunk and you're good to go :thumbsup:
     
  12. hiddenxrainbows

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    I'm not trying to prove myself better than anyone else. And I'm not saying that drinking is bad. I just don't think its something for me. And I'm trying to be a good person just...idk, just to be. And I want to be someone my mum would be proud of, she past away years ago. I just don't want to accidentally start going down the wrong path.

    And yeah, I usually find some pop to drink when they're drinking. Maybe ill just make sure I have something with me 24/7 then XD
     
  13. Chip

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    Don't get suckered in. The reason they're pressuring you is because they know, at some level, that they are probably drinking too much and they want to pull you down with them so they won't feel inferior.

    But you don't have to frame it that way. You can say something as simple as "Look, I choose not to drink, my decision is final, and I need for you to stop revisiting this issue. Can I have your commitment that you will leave this alone and not continue to hound me about it?" And I would do this (if possible) when they are sober.
     
  14. KiddlesP

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    I am the exact same way haha. I have never drunk a drop of alchohol (realistically, I mean dihydrogen monoxide is water which is 50% alchohol at dynamic equilibrium... well hydroxyl... never mind), and whenever I go to a party or a kegger, a group of my friends will always try to get me to drink, and others will always ask, "gonna drink tonight?". I love it when they ask this, I can always say "no", or "maybe tonight", and I can be that guy who is himself and open. I actually find it amusing and like observing others change as they become more open (its sounds more creep than it is). I never plan on drinking in my life, and I have almost completed the university drinking milestone without a drop, with peer pressure, so know it is definatly possible. The more times I say, Ive been sober for 16 years, 17 years, 18 years, 19 years, my whole life, I am happier, and like who I am more.

    My question to you though is, "why does it bother you that people are asking/messing with you, to drink?". What qualities are so sensitive about this in you? Find what your resistance to this idea is, and see where it leads you.

    Peace and Love.

    (*hug*)
     
    #14 KiddlesP, Jul 4, 2012
    Last edited: Jul 4, 2012