So, what exactly is stopping you? You don't need sperm to be a father, you don't even need a penis. Goodness knows, there have been many people who've had both of those things, but failed to live up to even the lowest standards of fatherhood. Hell, I wouldn't even call some of them men if we didn't gender-type people by genitalia. Adoption is always a viable option, though obviously it has its issues. There is also the option of "adopting" an embryo and having it implanted into a surrogate. You have options. So, it brings us back to the original question. What exactly is stopping you?
I do want to do it naturally. See, I feel impotent. I can't be a girl. But I do wish I could have a child with somebody of our own mixture of genes. I think that is so wonderful, to pass down my good qualities. Adoption is noble. I just wish I could actually father a child, that is why I feel sick in my heart. :/ I physically can't. And I would be the best dad, give them all my grandad did me, and more.
I really get what you mean, DNB. I remember feeling exactly like you do some years ago. I knew I wanted kids but I also knew I could never father them naturally, like everything in me strived to do. That incapacity made me feel a storm of emotions I couldn't quite get out because not many people would understand. To my girlfriend of the time, she did see no problem; to her I would be the dad of our kids and she's carry them, and that would be that. She said we could choose a donor that looks a lot like me or somebody in my family. But that wouldn't exactly be the same. I lived with that desperation for years. Wasn't financially secure enough to have kids yet anyway. But then I met my wife, who happened to be a transsexual woman, pre-op. It was clear that we wanted kids together, and we had the equipment to do so... just... reverse. We went through that together and as much as she wanted to carry our kids and couldn't, we fully understood each other. It became my responsibility to carry our kids, and it became my responsibility to be there mentally too, for her sake, for being able to tell her how it feels and everything. So I did it, and well... my body wasn't happy about it either. I got the worse pregnancy you can think of, loads of problems, it handicapped me like living Hell and all, I got hospitalized... I got forbidden to have sex... I got watched... I got... well, hell. My kid is born through C-section too. But we got a healthy daughter out of this, a daughter with both our genes, and she's SO worth it, I promise! I'd go through this again and twice worse if need be to have another kid. I just hope I can. ...in conclusion, DNB, there is hope for you. There are ways. But there is especially people who understand what you're going through and I think it's important that you know that.
I can understand that completely. It's why I want to father kids naturally too. It also feels like a responsibility for me, since I'm the last individual capable of carrying on the family name and traditions. Neither of my uncles had children, and while my sister had kids they don't carry the last name or the family traditions. Thankfully, I actually want kids. I'm just running into the stumbling block that I'm gay, and that the person I want to have kids with is going to be another man. :eusa_doh: So, I can understand - at least in part - where you are coming from. I also would like for any children I have to be a combination of both our DNA, as silly as that might sound. However, I think that'll require me to wait too long. I know that it is scientifically possible, because they're doing it with endangered species. They take an egg, strip it of its DNA, insert DNA from one donor, and take a sperm from another donor and fertilize the egg artificially. I don't think this procedure has ever been done for humans, though. However, you could learn a lot from PurpleCrab's example. You don't actually have to carry the child though. You can have eggs removed and stored just like guys store sperm in a sperm bank. When you find yourself a relationship, if it is with a woman who wants to and is capable of carrying children you both can find a sperm donor, have the sperm fertilized into the eggs you've had stored, and the embryo inseminated into her. If it's with a guy, you can have his sperm fertilize the egg, and then have the embryo inseminated into a surrogate. Is it perfect and ideal? No. But it's still an option. Sometimes, to get what we want, we have to be willing to compromise - whether we want to or not, just as PurpleCrab's experience illustrates. In the end, when you hold your child in your arms, in whatever manner he or she was conceived it won't matter - it won't even be a secondary thought. ...and you will be a father.
I know how you feel. I've always wanted to have kids, but there's no way I want to be a father. I'd much rather be a mother. I'm not particularly interested in giving birth or morning sickness, but the idea of being pregnant has been growing a lot more appealing lately. But the fact is there's a 50% chance that any kid of mine would have birth defects, thanks to my stupid genes... and I don't want to be responsible for that. So there's never going to be a son or daughter related to me. For you, I'd consider what PurpleCrab and Aldrick said. It may not be perfect or ideal, but it is a possibility. Don't think you won't be a father someday.
Personally, I don't ever want to have children. Considering I'm only 15, my opinion on them may change. But like what was previously said, who knows what tomorrow technology will bring? If not, there's other options you can take, you may just need to look at them a bit more ^^
I wish I could carry the baby for half the pregnancy and the other half my partner can take over. I'm 34 weeks right now and super uncomfortable lol. Don't worry DNB you'll be a daddy one day
You aren't the only one. For years, I've wanted to be a mom for pretty much the same reason you mentioned.
my family, one of gram ma's 3 kids inherited a painful disease, and one of his girls gots it and she has 2 kids, and they now have kids! So one day grandma told us all if she had known it was inherited, her dad had it, she would have just adopted and not had any to save us from this. We were shocked. It hurt, we would not exist! But we want to exist! Does she not love us? No she just does not want to pass on the "bad" gene. But we don't care! Please think about that in your consideration of not wanting to pass on "bad genes" as if you did have a family and only about half got it, likely they would be glad you had them anyways.
My mother once told my doctor the same thing, actually. I have to admit, it was somewhat unnerving, and a little hurtful... but from their point of view, they just feel guilty that their children had to suffer. But adoption can also help relieve children of pain, by bringing them into a loving home. And you might not have the resources for both. But you are right. As hard as life can be sometimes, I do like existing. And I don't blame my parents in the least. But then, they didn't know what I do.
