Okay, so I've had two dates and numerous long phone calls and emails with my new lady. She just sent me a note asking if she can call me her girlfriend. It's not that I don't want that, but I'm scared, totally out of my comfort zone. I'm afraid of saying, give me a little more time, you're rushing me. I was going to ask for a little space because I feel a bit smothered. I don't know what to tell my son, who's only met this person as my friend. I sort of have feelings for someone else, and I'm trying to get over that. I don't think my lady friend and I are in the same place right now. I just don't want to hurt her by saying that I need time to process things. I really feel like I'm living in a dream, and I don't know what to do really.
I think it would be best to just tell her that you need some time to get used to it all. It would just get really really messy and complicated if you just went along with it when you feel uncomfortable. All that she can ask for is your honesty, and thats what she needs.
I think that I would also recommend telling her that you don't feel comfortable with that yet - although I wouldn't mention the someone else!! If you feel you're going too fast, you may end up resenting her or something - it is best to start off honestly and slowly I think. Good luck!
I did tell her that I need some time, and she said she was all right with it. She was very sorry that I was feeling rushed. Of course, now I feel terrible because I upset her, but I'm not really ready to go from "me" to "we" yet. Maybe I'll feel better in the morning. I'm really tired and drained tonight.
HONESTY is the best ingredient you can add to any relationship. She wouldn't have asked if she didn't want you to be comfortable with it, so being honest and telling her 'not yet' was totally appropriate. You're right - you're in two different places right now. That's normal, because after all, you are two different people! From my experience, total honesty is working REALLY well for my bf and I. It's great.
