I am just thinking as I tend to do unfortunately, and my question for you all is, "is it 'wrong' to want to be in a relationship with a woman before a guy?". :eusa_doh: By the word 'wrong', I am not sure what word I mean... self centered, closed minded, unsure, not in anyones best interest, pointless... those types of words I guess. :bang: I do not plan to be in a relationship in the near future currently, however this is a thing that I have thought about a few times, and it is always that I want to know openly and be in a relationship, and have sex with a girl before a guy... why am I judging relationships before they even begin... :icon_redf Maybe it is because I still have lingering ideas of what I "should" (another bad word haha) be, or what I would want from myself at a minimum... mmmmhhh... .... .... I am learning to grow fond of this side of me more everyday, however I still have such resistance to it... :dry: Any of your thoughts, especially for the Bi community, although all are welcome, would be appreciated. :icon_wink Thank you. (*hug*)
I could be wrong, but I think when it comes down to it, and you meet someone, whether they're male or female won't matter. I mean, what if you meet an amazing guy who's into you, will you turn him down because you haven't dated or slept with a girl yet? Either way, I don't think it's wrong, no.
I do not believe it is wrong, If you like girls more then it means you like both, but you have preference to girls. There is nothing "Wrong" about it, that is like saying "I like cake, and I like icecream, but is it wrong to want the cake more. You can always ask yourself this. "Is it wrong for a homosexual to want to date guys, but not girls?" No? Then the same goes for you.
First of all, no, I don't think there's anything wrong with being bi and wanting to be with someone of a certain gender. But your wording is very interesting to me. You say you want to be with a girl before a guy, implying that you'd want to be with a guy eventually. Now obviously most relationships don't last forever, and I understand the impulse as a bi person to try both. But you mentioned the word "pointless" and it might very well be- if your main reason for choosing a girl over a guy is to try to appear straight. But if you truly do "see yourself" with a girl, I don't think you need to feel guilty about feeling that way. Er, sorry if that was clear as mud. We can't really control who we fall for, and I think you should focus on being with that person, whether it turns out to be a guy or a girl.
I don't think it's wrong, but I think it depends on the reasoning. If you're wanting to be in a relationship with a woman because it's more "socially acceptable" or something, then that's probably not the best reason. If it's just because you're typically more attracted to women (say Kinsey 2 or something), then that's fine I suppose. But I'd be careful to make the distinction between "preferring women" and "writing off most men". Like someone already mentioned, I think when you meet someone you really love, their gender won't matter too much.
Thanks for the replies. Pinstripe your reply was clear enough for me to understand, so it must be some fairly clear mud. I am not sure if that is an underlying unconscious belief system for me wanting to be with a female first, or if it a simple preference. I always grew up, like pretty much everyone, at one point thinking, okay this must be normal, I will do this, this, and this, and I will find a girl, and then this will happen, then life will be good. Done, simple. So I am not sure that if it is unconscious, it would be really "appearing" straight", but merely fulfilling a now ingrained urge. On the other hand, if it is a preference, then perhaps it could be due in part to how I might perceive myself, or my perceptions of how others might view me. There could be a variety of reasons as well... *sigh* I hope I can hammer out this whole "Bi & Unsure" stuff soon... My gratitude to you all.
