The other day, someone I've been talking with told me that they think I might be more than just a tomboy. It made me think...am I more than a tomboy and what is past tomboy? I'm not FtM (nor do I want to be) so what is the next level above tomboy - Transgener? Genderfluid? Genderqueer? Androgynous? I really don't know, but since my friend had suggested that, it has caused me ponder. I also don't feel fully female or fully male. Just like a weird mix of the two... Here's a little background to help whomever might wish comment on my thread better understand from where I'm coming: I am a female and am totally okay with being female and identify as such...except for one little part about being female -- my chest. I don't want it and (thanks to advice I got via EC) I've realised that I have "chest dysphoria." If my chest would just disappear or I could have top surgery without massive scars, I would be ecstatic. I'm pretty small chested anyway so it's managable with a compressoin bra, but I'm thinking about starting to use a binder. As a kid I always played with the boys. For my birthday I would receive tool sets, cowboy/indian weapons, etc. I would run around in boy clothes often without a shirt. I liked being dirty and wrestling with my male friends and they didn't treat me like a girl. They saw me as their equal. My antics annoyed my older sister to no end because to her I was a mischevous little tomboy. don't get me wrong we played and had a great time growing up together, but I was always the loud, roudy one wh odidn't care if dirt was smeared across my face. I've just never ever been one to like girly, female things. Ummm. Now as an adult, I dress androgynously (not sure if that's the right term). Basically I just wear whatever clothes I like regardless if they came from the women's or men's department. More often it is the men's department, but whatever. I'm always in a tank, t-shirt, shorts, jeans, men's trunk underwear (don't judge it's COMFORTABLE), boardshorts/good covering bikini top to the beach, tennis shoes, athletic sandals, ummm just comfortable clothes. My clothes fit well...I'm not into super baggy stuff, but I do generally buy my shirts a size up because I want them looser so my chest isn't noticable. Like I said, I don't have much to begin with, but even it showing makes me uncomfortable. Some days are better than others, but for the most part I have "chest dysphoria" and I don't know if I'm simply a grown up tomboy or something more or less. I can answer any further questions, but frankly I'm tired of typing and that's about all I can think of right now haha. THOUGHTS PLEASE :icon_bigg
Huh. I'm kinda the same way. I grew up the same, running around outside and getting dirty. I've always been a bit of a loner and a tomboy. I hate girlie things. XD I just don't think I have chest dys....? Lol sorry. I'm not sure how to determine if someone is just a tomboy or more tho. But I'm kinda the same way.
Well Martee, I don't think anyone wants to be transgender(ed.) As for being tomboy, I don't think there is a further label for that. Keep in mind that not all FtM's are the stereotypical male. Infact, I doubt anyone is the stereotype male/female. Also remember that what we think of you based on your description is possibly nothing compared to how you feel. Your masculine/feminine tastes have nothing to do with your gender, those are just preferences you favor. Gender is just what you feel like, biologically speaking. So what I'm saying is if you feel Androgyne, then you might be.
I don't feel either male or female...somedays I feel more female and others I feel more male. It has to do with who I am with and the environment also. Around other males, I fee like they just treat me like "one of the guys" but are still respectful that I am female. Around other females, I feel the need to protect them, hold doors, carry things for them, and sometimes show off my muscles by opening or lifting stuff haha Is that Androgynous? I'm still trying to figure out terms too...it can get confusing if you let it be.
I'm lesbian and I also want to protect women, hold doors for them, carry things for them, and yes, prove how physically strong I am... Not saying you're a lesbian but that's what I'm like... Also grew up tomboyish and dislike girly things and girly clothes. Would love to wear all men's clothes but my homophobic parents are standing in my way. Unfortunately I'm still living with them so that makes it a little harder... But my next shopping trip, I'm definitely going to get some more "gender neutral" stuff. Already have my men's deodorant... :lol:
this is just one person's explanations of definitions used here: I Am Transgendered! - Transgendered, Transvestite, or Transsexual? They don't worry about Kinsey scare ofsexuality anymore to determine if gender issues are there. So ignore that, and realize they always referring to male to female, never found one the other way around. Benjamin scale - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia I find reading things like this helps. Martee, I think you already seen this. But others may not have. ---------- Post added 5th Jul 2012 at 02:50 AM ---------- A jewish site said this about choice for FTMs: Beth also boasts a finely developed, wry sense of humor. “Being transsexual isn’t a choice,” she asserts. “Transitioning is. Granted, it’s not a choice like, ‘Hmm, shall I have chocolate or vanilla today? It’s more like, ‘Hmm…here I am, falling off a tall building. Shall I grab a ledge and save myself, or become a street pancake?’ It’s a choice, but it’s kind of a no-brainer at a certain point.” Tziona, born male, echoes those sentiments, stating that “the dysphoria of having a gender identity/ body mismatch is not a choice, but deciding to do something about it is; whether that decision is to seek help or go the other way and commit suicide, it’s still a choice.” She explains the choice to transition as “an attempt to resolve dissonance to consonance. For people who have never known inner harmony, the discord can eventually reverberate to such a cacophony it becomes unbearable,” she explains. I think those are good ways of putting it. it is sad how their religion and their dysphoria are in conflict: http://www.jewishmosaic.org/resourc...shiva+University&resource_order=resource_type
That's actually the term gender-fluid, when you feel female in most days and male on other days. Also, Androgynous is not gender-related. Androgynous is your masculine and feminine tastes. Androgyne is someone who feels female and male at the same time. Hope I helped.
Ja, we sound the same in how we live our lives now and our tomboy childhoods. Must be difficult being in a homophobic house when you're lesbian. "Gender neutral" stuff is amazing - haha I used to get men's deodorant lol but haven't in quite some time. I do wear men's trunk underwear though...I highly recommend them if you like comfortable underpants Maybe I'm gender-fluid then...what's the difference between that and "gender-queer?" Didn't know that about androgynous vs. androgyne. Thanks. and yes, you did help.
I don't know not all tomboys are lesbians. I met this girl who was a tomboy and I thought she was gay. Turns out she was straight. I'm really feminine a lot of people don't think I'm gay. I feel the need to protect women and hold doors for them too.
it's nice that EC is here so we can know there are other ppl out there like us that struggle with the same problems. I'm glad you understand... That's because ppl will generalize lesbians as "butch" or being the "guy" -- they don't think that really feminine females can be lesbians also. I'm straight in that I'm not gay, but probably not 100% straight, you know...but I doubt anyone actually is fully 100% straight or gay for that matter. ---------- Post added 5th Jul 2012 at 04:21 PM ---------- So I guess the consensus is that I might be gender-fluid? Who knows...I like Sayu's gender "very tomboyish girl." ditto and maybe I'm just a tomboy...I'm cool with that cuz I like how I am in life
That's because ppl will generalize lesbians as "butch" or being the "guy" -- they don't think that really feminine females can be lesbians also. I'm straight in that I'm not gay, but probably not 100% straight, you know...but I doubt anyone actually is fully 100% straight or gay for that matter. ---------- Post added 5th Jul 2012 at 04:21 PM ---------- That stereotype sucks sometimes I feel like cutting my hair short and dressing masculine but that just wouldn't be me. It sucks being a feminine lesbian the only people who hit on you are guys. They won't believe that your a lesbian and they'll try to convince you that there c*** will make you straight again.
I have short hair and dress androgynously most days...but that is me and how I've always dressed ever since a kid. Used to have long hair as an adolescent. Oh gosh don't you hate that?! Like they're all God's gift to all women. Face it we don't want you...I hate male arrogance
yeah one man i told flat out you must be gay, cuz I'm a transman. he eventually just said i was confused and his fucking me would make me realize I'm a woman. ew! i made him really pissed, he told me I'm stupid and mocked how i talk. i said then you really are desperate you are gay and and can't get any women so you verbally abuse me. moron! Martee, don't answer me this...just really be open to yourself be brave...are you sure you are straight? that is a straight woman? ask your self: am i attracted to lovely females, to i have any urges ever even a little to touch them, do i even one lady think one time what it would feel like to kiss her soft lips gently, do you ever ever think what it would be like to have sex as two females, or making love to a woman as a man would? Are any of these things repulsive i mentioned, if so as in boring, or as in oh no no no...but kinda titilated you a little and makes you feel like immoral? again not here, for YOU, be honest, cuz if you have nothing whatsoever towards women you are either a straight woman who is a tomboy or could be a transgender male who is gay...but that is another set of questions. i think your gender, personally, could be fluid but runs rather male a lot. do you ever journalize it to see if "period" time or stress could cause it to intensify? btw, IFF you read those questions and did feel yes to any, you are not alone. and you can pm me anytime about anything, i don't judge you. but please be honest to yourself, cuz i know you want the truth, it sets you free, and if we all don't ask the hardest most disturbing questions to ourselves and be entirely honest we can't ever come out whole.peace.
Genderqueer is when you don't ever feel like both sexes. And my apologies, I also forgot to mention that Genderfluid is one who fluids on two sexes or more.
Rabbit1 wrote this: Re: Difference between.... Genderqueer (GQ; alternatively non-binary) is a catch-all term for gender identities other than man and woman, thus outside of the gender binary and heteronormativity.[1] People who identify as genderqueer may think of themselves as one or more of the following: both man and woman (bigender, pangender); neither man nor woman (genderless, agender); moving between genders (genderfluid); third gender or other-gendered; includes those who do not place a name to their gender; having an overlap of, or blurred lines between, gender identity and sexual orientation.
first of all that some terrible guy you have met there dang. BEsides that you shouldn't really worry about how you look and what you wear but what you are underneath should matter way more. I have met plenty of "beautifull" (beauty is subjective) girls that where mean as hell (they ignored me) while the more tomboy girls treated me with respect. But on your question. I don't think you are a tomboy on the deffinition most people have of that word. I only think you are awesome that you do what you want to do and wear what you want to wear.
I'm tired and my hand hurts from writing alot already, so I'm just going to say you might want to look up the term "demi-boy" or "demi-guy" if you really want to find a label or whatever. ---------- Post added 19th Jul 2015 at 11:14 AM ---------- Cause that's the thing in between tomboy and FtM.
