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Question about gay guys...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by SteelCityGuy, Jul 4, 2012.

  1. SteelCityGuy

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    Since I have come to like guys and been hanging out in the gay community I have noticed I get hit on all the time...when I dated girls and hung out in straight clubs I hardly ever got hit on or I just didn't notice it..lol are gay guys just more forward and aggressive?, I've been told I'm a handsome guy and I have a buff muscular body and a nice personality by many guys, I hardly ever got told that by girls...I must say the attention feels good of course, and I'm having a great time meeting new guys...its just a bit confusing.
     
  2. Gipsy

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    Maybe it's just a coincidence that you're bumping into confident gay guys?
     
  3. SteelCityGuy

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    I have also though maybe 'my' confidence shows more around gay guys then around girls...so they 'guys' find that attractive and pursue me, I was always more shy around girls then guys. As a girlfriend of mine said 'your so awesome when your around guys'..
     
  4. Gipsy

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    Maybe because you're able to express yourself easily with them since you relate to them somehow? I mean, a lot of girls are more comfortable with talking to other girls, and they would share everything with each other.
     
  5. bob94

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    Hmmm, when you say you've been "hanging out in the gay community," where exactly has it been? Because if you've been going to places like gay bars/clubs, then that wouldn't really surprise me; that's just the nature of those places.
     
  6. Gipsy

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    Oh, what bob said is indeed true! In a gay community, everybody is free to express themselves to others without the needs of people insulting them. I'm sure a lot of them are not as confident when they're not in a gay community.
     
  7. Gravity

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    There could be lots of reasons. To begin with, the social expectation - however unfair it might be - is that men approach women, not the other way around. So that's in your favor from the start. It could also have to do with the places you're hanging out and meeting said people, as others have mentioned.

    I've also been thinking recently about a theory that there are different kinds of "attractiveness" for gay men and hetero men - in other words, that gay men look for and/or find different things in their partners than hetero women look for and/or find in theirs (not to oversimplify, there are frequently more elements in the equation than that, but hopefully you get the idea). If I'm right, it could be that you're more "gay-handsome" than you are "hetero-handsome."
     
  8. Pinstripe

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    Gravity's right- most straight women expect men to make the first move, to the point where they wouldn't feel comfortable doing it themselves. And I think this would be especially true if you're shy around women. But it's awesome that you can be confident and be yourself around guys. The ones that hit on you are probably picking up on that.
     
  9. Lewis

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    I definitely agree with this. Literally NO straight girl (for a long long time) has come onto me, but gay guys come onto me all the time. I think it's maybe because girls have great gaydars. :S
     
  10. DanA

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    I think it's because gay guys are just that... guys :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Just because of our physiology, we tend to be more blunt and aggressive naturally. I know that's something I've been noticing as I've been hanging around more and more gay men but just hanging around straight men all my life I've noticed that too.
     
  11. Bedroom Hymns

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    I guess there are more girls that want YOU to pursue them, while with gay guys many look to pursue you because they are less passive?
     
  12. sguyc

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    Social hardwiring. Girls are taught to lead people on a chase and not "give themselves away". Guys are taught to go after what they want, especially in a relationship/sexual sense.
     
  13. Ianthe

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    I'm pretty sure it's a combination of biological and cultural factors, the most important biological factor being testosterone (that's based what transgender people who've had hormone treatments have told me about how testosterone changes how they feel and interact with people). Culturally, women are taught to let men make the first move--traditionally, it was considered off-putting for a woman to be forward. Girls and women sometimes go to really elaborate lengths to arrange for a guy they like to have a good opportunity to make a move.

    Actually, I think the same thing causes a lot of dating problems sometimes in the lesbian community. As in, sometimes lesbians like each other a lot for a really long time before either of them decides to make a move. Sometimes, everybody around them is going, "OMG, just kiss her already! You two are totally in love with each other! This has been going ON AND ON AND ON!!!"

    (Of course, once one of them finally does, they immediately move in together.)
     
  14. Pinstripe

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    This made me laugh. Probably because I relate to it a little too much.
     
  15. Philvanuirle

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    Shoot... girls compliment me more x) I don't get it, but they just do. No man has ever complimented me, well one, but he is a long story.