It was a good day, last Sunday. Pretty awesome in fact. Everyone was playing nice and having a good day. I was bummed Saturday a bit since a lot of the friends I never see were NEXT DOOR and, despite the fact that my brother was asleep and I had nothing to do, I was not allowed to see them. For no reason at all, I couldn't leave the house. So, like any teenager, I went to bed at 8:00 on a Saturday. Anyway, I was pretty distracted Sunday trying to pick a nail polish. I was also dying of dealing with very out of whack hormones, since I am not allowed to have an "attitude" no matter WHAT medication I'm taking and HOW screwed up I get hormonally, BUT STILL. I was going good and it was a good day. Then, everything changed when my step dad brought up a plush cat I sewed up, having "finally figured out what it's problem is". I would post a picture, but that COULD lead you to my deviantart and that's not allowed... right? So here's what it's based off. Anyway, this was an anniversary present for my girlfriend, so I told him it was at her house. He proceeded to roll his eyes and call that the gayest thing he's ever heard... THE GAYEST THING. GAYEST. Call it Asperger's if you will, but I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE. I AM gay, and I suppose that giving my girlfriend a present is being gay. So I laughed and said, "Well yeah, I guess that is pretty gay." After my mom left, I drifted back upstairs for a moment just to hear an order from my stepdad to stop "hiding" (that's what he calls it when I leave the room for more than 2 minutes) and SIT. I sat on the floor and tried to make conversation only to be told all of this again: comments on how everyone really fucking hates me, how I'm just pretending, rude comments about the woman I love, a threat/order about never saying her name, and the classic "I would rather you be a pregnant slut than a homo, so stop being gay" amongst other shit. I finally, calmly retorted (though in my house any retort is seen as incredibly violent) that my mother did NOT hate me and that I wouldn't go being a whore with men just because he said so. He snapped that she didn't particularly LIKE that I was gay, and I quickly shot that back with "I don't expect her to throw a party over it!" Then I asked if it was a joke, and after a few minutes of unclear responses I deducted that he was dead serious. He spent Monday talking about how my Grandma hates me (had to be joking), Tuesday saying I better not piss my mom off, and this morning he woke me up at 6 AM via test calling me a Communist for this comment on Facebook: "Fireworks and lightning makes an epic combo! I hope everyone had a nice Fourth, Happy birthday America and Godzilla bless ya!" (disclaimer: not a word for word quote). I offered to delete it, but he kept going back and forth between "COMMIE." and "I don't care~!" I'm so confused and no one will stand up to him. If I do, I get house arrested... wait, is that a term? Anyway, help?
God, that's fucked up. I don't have any advice, but I'm here for you. (*hug*) I like your Facebook comment, it's clever.
Hm this sounds like a serious problem. Well since you are 17, I would recommend that if you have the means and strength, move out at 18 when you are legally independent, and for now hold on until that time comes. Try not to get on his 'bad' side is possible... you are doing nothing wrong, however your father is going through some very difficult times, and I am not sure if your safety is in jeopardy or not. If things ever get really bad, you can physically call the police about your situation. Hopefully it never comes to that, and it will die down quickly. I hope this can help in some way...
It's not gonna die down. This has been going on for almost a YEAR. Half of that time I wasn't even DATING a girl, and a quarter of that time I was in denial that I was gay at all (actually, I'm still in denial...). How the hell do I react to someone who can't consistently joke around and consistently be serious?! He alternates so much and without changing his tone of voice it's insane! Not only is he verbally attacking me, he's doing it in a way that makes me feel stupid and helpless. And thank you, I thought it was clever too, hence why I posted it. I forgot that any holiday dealing with America is dead serious and any silly comments about it means I'm a Communist. THIS IS AMERICA. I HAVE A RIGHT TO MAKE A SILLY COMMENT. I would know, I AM an American and I've read the bloody Bill of Rights and Constitution several times!! But I deleted it anyway, or else the household dictator would probably execute me for taking advantage of my First Amendment rights. Godzilla help me...
That last part made me laugh. But this is serious, if nothing else you can get out of there when you're 18 right? I don't know how to deal with people like that, I guess for the most part they can't be reasoned with. You're not stupid or helpless, you're just in a bad situation. Like they said you didn't do anything wrong, they are.
Wow, I am so sorry for what you're going through, I couldn't imagine someone in my family being so blatantly harsh. You're being verbally punished, mentally and emotionally abused for something you have absolutely no control over. I've heard some people admit that they would physically punish their child for acting gay. My kids father calls me the MLK for gay rights and rightfully so, because so many people are afraid to stand up for themselves. You are rightfully standing your ground and I commend you for doing so; I guess he thinks you'll change your mind. I'm sure his words cut deeply as he is someone important to you. Once you turn 18, you can move out and you'll be free of ridicule. He's going to regret all the mean things he's ever said to you once he realizes his tactics never worked. And since you will no longer be under his roof, there's nothing he can do. Just try to avoid him as best you can and ignore any comments he makes about being gay. I know it's going to be difficult to ignore him, but in a respectful manner try giving him a dose of his own medicine.
I think I just got dumped for being a snivelling baby who obeys everything my parents demand I do. Finally, after years of not letting her report it, she finally left. I... hate my parents. A lot... And because of that, I deserve every bit of this. I am a fucking spoiled brat and I don't deserve this kindness....
I mean, you really don't have a choice because you're under 18 and their roof. There's nothing wrong with pleasing your parents, but also take control of your life. I had much freedom at your age, but I'm not sure what happened to make them so strict. Is it because you told them that you like girls? When did things change?
It changed when my step dad came into the picture. My mom couldn't care less if I was gay. My mom just still expects me to be obedient. I didn't get dumped, but I think she's mad at me.
