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What can I do to stop feeling so down?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Catkin, Jul 5, 2012.

  1. Catkin

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    I'm not depressed but I've been feeling pretty miserable lately. I don't have any energy (which could just be because I can't sleep) and I've found myself not moving from my room for days at a time (except to go to class). I don't feel comfortable being around other people right now. I can't seem to bring myself to go and do any of the outdoorsy things that I normally enjoy, which leaves me feeling lazy and useless as well. I feel like a ghost; it's like I'm even here a lot of the time. My thoughts towards myself keep getting increasingly judgemental and my emotions are all over the shop, varying from panicky, lonely, upset to completely apathetic. The thing that is really worrying though, is that I suspect that there is the little part of me which seems to feel like I should be hurt or punished. I definitely wouldn't hurt myself or anything, but I've found myself absentmindedly (and accidentally) thinking about that a few times recently.
    I don't get why I feel so down, it isn't like there has been a big tragedy in my life recently, like a death in the family or something. The only stressors I have at all in my life are living in a foreign country where I don't know many people, questioning my sexuality and suddenly having a lot of college assignments due (which I can't concentrate on enough to finish, even though I'm interested in the topics).
    I've felt like this for months and this is so unlike me; I'm normally really positive and happy and relaxed. I propably should just snap out of it and go and do something.
     
  2. Jim1454

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    Everything you're describing after this statement suggests that you probably are.

    Lack of interest in doing things you used to like, lack of motivation, withdrawal from people and activities, lack of concentration. All these things point to depression.

    You don't need to have experienced some kind of trauma or loss to be depressed. Depression is a result of a chemical imbalance in the brain. But the other things you describe - being home sick, being stressed about school, being anxious about your orientation - are all things that can aggravate or trigger depression.

    I would take this up with your doctor. Counselling and / or medication might be necessary to help you through this rough patch. Doing nothing and hoping things will get better will usually result in the opposite.
     
  3. Catkin

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    I'd thought the symptoms of depression were more obvious and serious than this. Crying all the time and stuff like that?
    I'm not really in a position to do that though. I don't have a doctor here, and my command of the language isn't fluent enough for a complicated discussion. I could wait for a month until I go home, but then I would have to explain why I want to go to the doctors to my mum.I don't think I'd get taken seriously anyway. I don't know of anyone at home who has gone to the doctors for anything other than physical health reasons (I'd probably end up omitting a load of stuff if I talked to the local doctor anyway.The mental health service in the nearest city at home is seriously a place of last resort; I only know of two people who ended up there; one due to a suicide attempt, the other because of severe anorexia.
    Other than going to the doctors, is there anything else I could do?
     
  4. Jim1454

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    Well, you can force yourself to do the things that you don't want to do but that could make you feel better.

    Getting your assignments done would eliminate a source of anxiety for you. So what can you do in the next 10 minutes that would move one of them along? And then in the following 10 minutes? I find breaking things down into smaller pieces makes them less overwhelming.

    Get some exercise. That helps me feel better physically and mentally. It's tough to do if you're feeling down - but go for a walk or a jog. Just for 20 minutes or half an hour.

    Get into a routine. Don't stay in bed all day - force yourself to get up, eat regularly, etc.

    Don't isolate yourself, but instead make it a point to spend time with other people.

    I know there is a lot of stigma around mental health issues, but there shouldn't be. LOTS of people suffer from mental health issues that are VERY treatable because they don't get help. If you're old enough to be away for school, surely you're old enough to go to the doctor without telling your mom precisely why you're going... And then tell your GP how you've been feeling and let them consider whether or not you might need some additional help.

    You don't need to wait until you've attempted suicide to deal with a problem. You don't need to be near death from an eating disorder before dealing with a problem. You want to nip it in the bud and deal with it now before it gets any worse.
     
  5. pinklov3ly

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    Hi, Catkin, I know how you're feeling because I have been feeling the same way for almost 2 weeks. I wish I had other helpful advice, but perhaps seeking professional help is a good thing. That's what I'm planning on doing because I've been feeling like this consistently for the past six months for 14 days out of each month. And now, the feelings have returned and are even more powerful. I've suffered from depression/anxiety for as long as I can remember; however, I'm starting to think I'm suffering from PMDD, as well. I have always been afraid to admit my worries because I didn't want people to think differently of me, but I could care less now. I need help and while seeking help through EC helps, it's only temporary. I tend to sleep all day and I've lost interest in everything in my life, but I refuse to spend another day being depressed.

    Perhaps, the school you're attending has some sort of free mental health services just in case you can't wait until you get home. Or if you can, then find a therapist in your home town and make an appointment. There's nothing to be ashamed of, we're all human and sometimes, we may need help from outside resources, so why not take advantage of it.
     
    #5 pinklov3ly, Jul 5, 2012
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2012
  6. PerfectCalamity

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    I definitely agree with the seeking help from a professional advice.
    I was feeling the same way in middle school 24/7 but I never thought it would be depression. Turns out I actually have Severe Depression (Major Depressive Disorder)
    I would highly suggest it, even if you're not prepared for it I'm sure they have translators where you live.
    Like Jim said, try exercising maybe even going to a few social events - maybe even just going to a coffee shop for a while. It will help until you can talk to a professional.
     
  7. strangerest

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    I've been dealing with depression for years now, and the best way to move forward is help. Telling a parent that you need professional help is so difficult, and I completely sympathize with you. My mom wouldn't take my feelings seriously either.

    In the long run, the struggle of trying to get a parent to understand and the difficulty of finding the right help is worth it. You don't deserve to feel this way, no one does. I think when you go home, that's a conversation you should have with your mom, and it might take more than a few tries to get her to understand, but it'll be worth it. Also, you've got a great community here to help you through the task of recovery :slight_smile: