My mum said to me today 'Go get yourself a girlfriend and you won't be bored' (not that I said I was bored). In my mind I wanted to say 'That's ain't gonna happen, I'm gay' but my mouth said 'They're too expensive' to which she replied 'Find yourself a rich girlfriend' and I just said 'I can't be bothered' There's a few things wrong with that conversation, firstly why did my mouth say something different to what my head was saying. Secondly why didn't she pick up on the 'I can't be bothered' surely any single straight guy would be spending their time finding a girlfriend. So I'm starting to wonder if she knows and whether she's trying to drop hints. It's like we're stuck in a deadlock, I'm not going to say it and she's not going to ask it. By the way I am completely straight acting, never dated a guy and never shown any hints or signs (that I'm aware of) that I'm gay.
I'm sure you get this allot, but you should just be honest with you're Mom, if you think she knows you're gay, then there's no point in staying in a deadlock as you stated. Just tell her that you're gay. I mean I don't know what you're mom is like, but I'm sure that she loves you, and wouldn't be that judgemental of you just because you're sexual preference. And if you're not completely comfortable with just coming out and saying it, you could drop her hints from time to time, maybe she might ask you if you are gay?
you should stay true to yourself and find the right time and the moment to tell her. try giving her hints if you don't wanna tell her right away ( i'm not saying that you should act like something you are not) but prepare her and don't make feel believe something that it's not going to happen as you and i know, we can be only completely honest with everyone until we are with ourselves. the best of lucks and a big hug.
The same thing that is stopping you from telling your mom is probably what is stopping your mom from asking you. It isn't "real" until it is said out loud. If you want to try easing into coming out while still being able to change your mind about it even after starting up a conversation, one of these ideas may work for you (use at your own discretion). 1. Flat out ask her what she would do if you told her you were gay. I almost used this strategy on my dad before I came out. I was going to say something along the lines of, "While I was driving home from work today, a question occurred to me. I thought it was interesting and didn't know the answer, so I figured I would ask you. What would you do if me or one of my siblings told you we were gay?" I figured that if my parents did think I was straight, then this question would just seem like I was genuinely curious about what their answer would be. Nothing more, nothing less. And if their answer was favorable, I could decide whether or not I should go on from there. 2. Play the what-if game. This is similar to the first, but probably more subtle. I actually did use this strategy on my mother. I asked her how she would have reacted in a lot of hypothetical situations, like what she would have done if I had started smoking in high school, went out and eloped with someone, dyed my hair neon green, etc. And then I slipped in the question of what she would have done if I brought home a boyfriend or one of my sisters brought home a girlfriend. I figured this way I could better determine her views on the subject, and if she had never thought about it before, it would get her thinking about it. And again, you can decide from there whether or not you want to continue with the coming out process. I think that's all I've got for now. If I think of any more, I'll be sure to post them. I'm not sure if this is the sort of advice you were looking for, but I hope it helped anyway.
i sure hated everybody but mom telling me to go online and find a man today at my party! its weird, not anybody's business. ---------- Post added 6th Jul 2012 at 06:59 PM ---------- I like the subtle one, it does not bring any fear and gets a conversation going both in their head and between you. brilliant!
Thanks for your replies, I think the subtle option will tell her instantly as I've never really had a girlfriend so the mention of the word 'gay' will instantly tell her no matter how I word it or what sentence I use. There's never been anyone gay in this family (that's come out) and therefore never need to be talked about.
