1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Can someone please help me?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by MLP BonBon, Jul 6, 2012.

  1. MLP BonBon

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2012
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Michigan
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    So recently, I came out to my best friend, who I am now dating. We've told a few people, but one of my friends doesn't seem to understand LGBQ and here's what he said:

    Me: What do you think about gay people?
    Him: It's gross. Their nasty motherf***rs and all deserve to die.

    So I left and went home. Before he's said I am a great friend and he never wants to lose me! I don't know if he's suspicious now or anything, but how do I tell him I'm gay without losing him as a friend? :help:
     
  2. ameliawesome

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2012
    Messages:
    559
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    south jersey shore
    If he's really that hateful then why do you want to keep him around?
     
  3. Cloudbreaker

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2012
    Messages:
    130
    Likes Received:
    0
    My recommendation would be education. If he is really that opposed to gay people, then it is obvious that it hasn't occurred to him that gay people are PEOPLE. They are exactly like him, minus one small variable. Challenge him to give you even a single example of a (non-religious) negative result to society by people being gay, that isn't a stereotype and doesn't also apply to straight people. (If you can think of one, then let me know. I've been searching for one but have come up empty handed thus far.)
     
  4. Lexington

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    11,409
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hell, at this point, what do you have to lose? If you try to hide it from him, you'll simply be thinking "this guy thinks I should die" every time you're with him, and that's hardly going to be conducive to a fun friendship, right? So you may want to just drop the bombshell - via text or e-mail if you don't want to do it in person. "I asked you about gay people because I'm pretty sure I'm one of them."

    If you're worried about him spreading the information across school, it might be smarter just to withdraw from him for awhile.

    Lex
     
  5. King

    King Guest

    While I certainly agree with ameliawesome, I think you should talk to him about it some more. Casually, of course, assuming you don't want to tell him just yet. If he responds like that again, tell him that they're just people too and don't deserve the hate.
    Maybe, if you came out to him, you'd change the way he thinks. Maybe he values your friendship more than he values how much he hates gay people.
    Good luck!

    King x
     
  6. MLP BonBon

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2012
    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Michigan
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Thank you all for the help. I'll talk to him casually and see what happens!